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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

December 16, 2014 ·

Sanity Is Underrated

Uncategorized

“It’s okay to say ‘no’ to unnecessary crazy”- Unknown

When I read this quote, my heart gives a resounding ‘yes.’ I love the permission it gives us to value ourselves enough to say ‘no’ to the things that simply drain us.

Our culture is really good at selling us all the reasons why we shouldn’t do this, especially at Christmas. If you’ve grown up in our culture, you know what it’s like to feel the expectation of the season. Some of it is exciting and fun and beautiful. But some of it is a trap. It is fraught with comparison, scarcity, and pain. It will never be perfect, and boy, that hurts sometimes.

Let me share with you, I’m right there in the rat race with everyone else. Or at least, I’m tempted to be. This type of set up works great for a person who is a recovering perfectionist (not).

Unattainable goal + effort = discontentment

***

So lately, we’ve been talking a lot about keeping things simple. In our family, this means focusing on Advent. Letting ourselves feel the longing.  While we remember that Christmas and this world hold many beautiful and good things; we can sense there’s something more. And right now, all we can see is a glimpse of it. But there’s redeeming value in our expectation. 

The longing points us to the only one that can actually fill it.

This perspective provides relief in the midst of a world that deeply values image and perceived value instead of the true weight of the thing (this is where unnecessary crazy comes in, too).

But slowly, I am learning the value of things are in their core; the heart of it. And it also gives me the courage to get off the cycle of comparison and stick with what matters, and that’s definitely not the chaos the world is selling. 

Join me there, in the place where we choose peace over insanity? 

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Previous Post: « So it begins
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May you reclaim your voice. May you find your ‘no May you reclaim your voice. 
May you find your ‘no.’
May your healing come🕯️
#trysofter #stronglikewater #narcissisticabuseawarenessday #cptsd #beloved 
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We are so worthy of the return. #Beloved ✨🫶🏻 . . N We are so worthy of the return. #Beloved ✨🫶🏻
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Needing more resources & insight? Check out my best selling books, including “Try Softer” which is $3.99 via Amazon kindle, Kobo, Google books, and all e-reader platforms right now (links in profile + stories)🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #loveyourneighborASYourself
Embodying A Mantra of Self Compassion // Take What Embodying A Mantra of Self Compassion //
Take What You Need 🌿
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#trysofter #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #cptsd #beloved
Love Notes to My Nervous System (Take what you nee Love Notes to My Nervous System
(Take what you need 🌿)
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*I’ve seen this quote going around but couldn’t track down the original author. If you know, please share—I’d love to credit them.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #narcissisticabuse #cptsd
Like many of you who’ve generously shared your sto Like many of you who’ve generously shared your story with me through the years, I’ve walked this brutal path of living through a life-altering smear campaign, too.
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So if it feels like a resource, this is for you:❤️‍🩹
A Lament for a Smear Campaign 
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(And other types of narcissistic abuse)
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For the ways we have been slandered for telling the truth, 
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We grieve. 
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For the ways that reality has been contorted so we can no longer recognize it, 
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We cry out. 
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For the ways relationships were weaponized as part of the harm, 
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We lament. 
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For the ways those causing harm are celebrated, 
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We dissent. 
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For the bodies that were made to carry shame they do not own, 
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We honor. 
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For the ways you meet us in the valley of the shadow, O God—
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We remember. 
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Selah.
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#HealAnyway #PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor #TrySofter #cptsd #narcissticabuse
I’ve been in a writing cave finishing edits for my I’ve been in a writing cave finishing edits for my latest manuscript (IYKYN)—and as I work on a particularly vulnerable and painful story, I am holding these words from the inimitable Henri Nouwen like a prayer: 
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“When our wounds cease to be a source of shame and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.” 
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May it be so. #trysofter #healanyway #stronglikewater #cptsd #woundedhealers
May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
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*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
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