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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

December 16, 2014 ·

Sanity Is Underrated

Uncategorized

“It’s okay to say ‘no’ to unnecessary crazy”- Unknown

When I read this quote, my heart gives a resounding ‘yes.’ I love the permission it gives us to value ourselves enough to say ‘no’ to the things that simply drain us.

Our culture is really good at selling us all the reasons why we shouldn’t do this, especially at Christmas. If you’ve grown up in our culture, you know what it’s like to feel the expectation of the season. Some of it is exciting and fun and beautiful. But some of it is a trap. It is fraught with comparison, scarcity, and pain. It will never be perfect, and boy, that hurts sometimes.

Let me share with you, I’m right there in the rat race with everyone else. Or at least, I’m tempted to be. This type of set up works great for a person who is a recovering perfectionist (not).

Unattainable goal + effort = discontentment

***

So lately, we’ve been talking a lot about keeping things simple. In our family, this means focusing on Advent. Letting ourselves feel the longing.  While we remember that Christmas and this world hold many beautiful and good things; we can sense there’s something more. And right now, all we can see is a glimpse of it. But there’s redeeming value in our expectation. 

The longing points us to the only one that can actually fill it.

This perspective provides relief in the midst of a world that deeply values image and perceived value instead of the true weight of the thing (this is where unnecessary crazy comes in, too).

But slowly, I am learning the value of things are in their core; the heart of it. And it also gives me the courage to get off the cycle of comparison and stick with what matters, and that’s definitely not the chaos the world is selling. 

Join me there, in the place where we choose peace over insanity? 

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Joining the chorus to honor an extraordinary woman Joining the chorus to honor an extraordinary woman. Thank you for your light and life, Dolly. #ripdolly
Happy Friday.✨✌🏻❤️ // Take What You Need #trysoft Happy Friday.✨✌🏻❤️ // Take What You Need 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #trauma #healanyway
It is my delight & honor to celebrate my dear frie It is my delight & honor to celebrate my dear friend, Dr. Alison Cook, as she releases her brand new book, “The Secure Soul: Finding Inner Strength and Connection When Trust Doesn’t Come Easy” (and the companion book too!🎉)
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Dr. Cook, (or Alison, as I’ll call her now ;) is not only someone that I admire & respect professionally, but she has become a trusted real-life friend. Through this last several years, I’ve especially appreciated our kindship as we traverse the rewarding, interesting (and sometimes very complicated) world of being a public facing therapist, author, and speaker. 
🌿
Alison asked if I would be willing to endorse her newest offering, and it was a great privilege to do so, here’s what I said: 
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Written in the impactful tradition of books like “Hinds Feet On High Places,” Dr. Alison Cook offers us a stunning parable about the sacred work of being human—and the God who meets us in the repair. ‘The Secure Soul’ is wildly timely and timeless; a tender, thoughtful, and moving read. This is a fabulous book for anyone engaging the holistic healing God invites us toward.’ 
—Aundi Kolber, MA, LPC
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I truly believe “The Secure Soul” will be a balm to anyone who’s struggled to find safety & repair not only with God, not only with others, but with themselves too. You can read an excerpt on my Substack today (link in stories), or pick up the book anywhere books are sold (I’ll also have a link in stories).
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Congrats, Alison! So grateful for your deep work. 🏔️
#SecureSoul #EarnedSecureAttachment #TrySofter #Attachment #StronglikeWater
A few thoughts on finding your voice after harm & A few thoughts on finding your voice after harm & learning to befriend anger.✌🏻 
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May there come a day when you do not fear the power of your God-given voice. And may every trauma survivor come to know their anger is a profound ally in their healing journey.
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*And yes, all the caveats that our anger never gives us a reason or justification for causing harm. Rather, healthy anger is used as fuel to help us mobilize an appropriate response of advocacy or protection when harm has occurred. #stronglikewater #trysofter #healanyway #cptsd #fawning
I’ve loved this trend so I thought I’d offer a few I’ve loved this trend so I thought I’d offer a few of my own (take what you need💛).
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Edited to add: I'm not sure what that weird line is in my first slide! It should read: "Kinda chic to become the person you needed when you were younger." :)
#trysofter #stronglikewater #fierceselfcompassion #beloved #cptsd
“No matter how beautiful it is.” 🌿 In the way & t “No matter how beautiful it is.” 🌿 
In the way & the pace you are able—may it be so. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #compassionateresourcing #internalizedsafety
Attachment trauma & wounding can have profound imp Attachment trauma & wounding can have profound implications—particularly because of the ways it causes us to feel isolated; like no one could ever be trusted. It’s important to say this is valid—our body often adapts in this way because of real harm we’ve experienced. Yet, as we are able, so much of healing work is about learning to keep our eyes open for repair, even as we honor, grieve, & integrate all we’ve lived through.
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I think that’s why this love note is always so meaningful to me, and if it feels like a resource—I offer it to you too. 🌿#trysofter #beloved #stronglikewater #healanyway #cptsd
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P.s. have you heard this @mumfordandsons song? The lyrics are literally “with my hand over your heart.” Let’s go.✨🫶🏻
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