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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

December 23, 2014 ·

In which I am laid down low…

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I love music and I love to sing, especially at this time of year. I have always found that the carols surrounding Jesus’ birth hold a lot of hope and mystery.

This Christmas, there is one verse that has been a theme for me….

A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new glorious morn

The weary world rejoices.

Right now I feel that weariness. Maybe you can point to the fact that I’m a deep feeler, or a therapist, but I feel it deep in my bones. There is real pain, suffering, and hurt in our world. There are divisions, misunderstandings and worries to fill enough buckets for a lifetime.

There are not enough presents or cookies to make this weariness okay.

So sometimes when we try to just focus on the décor, food and presents, my heart hurts a little. It’s not that I don’t love those things, I do. But it can feel inauthentic to celebrate at a time when there is so much to lament.

And yet…This seems to be the exact space in which we connect to hope that comes from a God who enters in our mess. I have learned that one of the most loving things we could offer someone we care about is our empathy for their experience.

And this is what our God has done for us.

He chose to know us in the most loving way possible, our human experience. This makes his goodness all the more good. Because who would choose this weariness; only a God who desired for us to know Him. I am encouraged because we who are weary and laid down low, WE can have a hope. And not the kind that has a receipt or expiration date.

And this is what I love about Christmas. Every time I begin to lean in the direction of an inauthentic hope, I’m reminded of how unsatisfying that is. There is nothing that can fill up hope, like hope.

It’s my prayer that as we draw closer to Christmas, none of us would settle for less than the real thing.

Merry Christmas,

Aundi

 

 

 

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Previous Post: « Learning to Show Up
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These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨ #TakeWha These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨
#TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #cptsd #Beloved
Some of you may know from my writing and speaking Some of you may know from my writing and speaking that in addition to being a trauma therapist, I am a long-term survivor of Narcissistic abuse and Complex PTSD. Today, I felt moved to share this reflection from a few years ago that I’ve adapted a bit as I’ve continued in my own work (and I’ll be sharing more layers of my story & the complexity involved with it in my upcoming book.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️‍🔥)
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But for now: if this is part of your story too, I honor that in the same way the wounding is complicated, so, too, can the healing be. There is no shame there. The repair must match the rupture.❤️‍🩹 And yet, even if healing is complicated—you are so worthy of it. Sending love. #cptsd #narcissticabuse #trysofter #stronglikewater #grief
Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve learned to leave yourself to survive—the return can be terrifying and yet deeply satisfying all at the same time. May you experience repair in every way you need. 
// As always take what you need.
#Beloved #TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #fawning
Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been h Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been here. Sometimes my body & spirit tell me it’s time to take a longer break, and though I care deeply about this work—practicing what I preach matters to me even more. I’m not quite ready to enter back in more regularly, but until then, I thought I’d leave a few things I’ve been chewing on. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear. 🌿 (As always, take what you need)
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And may you, in the way and the pace you’re able—have access to the rest you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborASyourself #cptsd
Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶 Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶🏻#PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborasyourself
Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
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