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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

December 23, 2014 ·

In which I am laid down low…

Uncategorized

I love music and I love to sing, especially at this time of year. I have always found that the carols surrounding Jesus’ birth hold a lot of hope and mystery.

This Christmas, there is one verse that has been a theme for me….

A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new glorious morn

The weary world rejoices.

Right now I feel that weariness. Maybe you can point to the fact that I’m a deep feeler, or a therapist, but I feel it deep in my bones. There is real pain, suffering, and hurt in our world. There are divisions, misunderstandings and worries to fill enough buckets for a lifetime.

There are not enough presents or cookies to make this weariness okay.

So sometimes when we try to just focus on the décor, food and presents, my heart hurts a little. It’s not that I don’t love those things, I do. But it can feel inauthentic to celebrate at a time when there is so much to lament.

And yet…This seems to be the exact space in which we connect to hope that comes from a God who enters in our mess. I have learned that one of the most loving things we could offer someone we care about is our empathy for their experience.

And this is what our God has done for us.

He chose to know us in the most loving way possible, our human experience. This makes his goodness all the more good. Because who would choose this weariness; only a God who desired for us to know Him. I am encouraged because we who are weary and laid down low, WE can have a hope. And not the kind that has a receipt or expiration date.

And this is what I love about Christmas. Every time I begin to lean in the direction of an inauthentic hope, I’m reminded of how unsatisfying that is. There is nothing that can fill up hope, like hope.

It’s my prayer that as we draw closer to Christmas, none of us would settle for less than the real thing.

Merry Christmas,

Aundi

 

 

 

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One of the reasons I emphasize offering as much agency as possible in places where I have influence (like writing, speaking, & therapy), is because experiences of powerlessness are a core component of trauma,* and so often, people are re-traumatized when they try to get help and heal. 
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And yet, we cannot heal a wound the way it was created. Where agency was stolen or taken, it must be returned & restored for there to be repair.
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Centering survivors matters. And healing must take a different path than harm. May it be so. #StayWithYourself 
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*Including but not limited to developmental, spiritual, relational, sexual, medical, racial, and more
#trysofter #cptsd #stronglikewater #healanyway
Sending all my love to trauma survivors today. Tak Sending all my love to trauma survivors today. Take extra care. And as my friend @sarahcarterwest says, I’m keeping my candle lit with you.🕯️❤️‍🩹
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #selfcompassion #loveyourneighborASYourself #cptsd
This particular lament has been on the tip of my l This particular lament has been on the tip of my lips for months now, but as news like the Cornell 7 & profound allegations of abuse are uncovered in Christian spaces—I wanted to write and share it now. #StayWithYourself #TrySofter #PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
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(Dedicated to Jane Doe, and each person who has been harmed by institution betrayal).
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**Dr. Jennifer Freyd coined the term institutional betrayal and it is when “a trusted organization or system harms an individual who depends on it, or fails to prevent and properly respond to wrongdoings committed within its context.” She notes the opposite of institutional betrayal is institutional courage.** 
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Selah.
For all the times you’ve shamed yourself, thinking For all the times you’ve shamed yourself, thinking it would somehow heal you, I see you. 
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May compassion be your portion. 🙏
(As always, take what you need)
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed #Beloved
I still can’t believe all the love from my announc I still can’t believe all the love from my announcement of “Stay With Yourself.” 😭🕯️Thank you, thank you, thank you. What an absolute honor. Truly.
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As your week ends, I wonder if any of these resonate? As always, take what you need.🫶🏻 #StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #fawning #cptsd 
(You can pre-order “Stay With Yourself” wherever books are sold. Links in my profile 📕)
Eeeeeee! I am SO excited to finally share my newes Eeeeeee! I am SO excited to finally share my newest offering, this work of my heart: 
“Stay With Yourself: A Soft & Fierce Invitation to Unlearn Pleasing, Performing, & Keeping the Peace—And Live From Your Truest, God-Given Center”(releasing March, 9th, 2027🎉)
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Whew, this book has been a long time coming. I first wrote about fawning & how we brilliantly survive relational trauma by leaving ourselves (especially by overaccomodating, self abandonment, appeasing, and keeping the peace) back in “Try Softer” (2020). The truth is though, I always knew there was more for me to say. Because fawning is often the engine for so much suffering for relational trauma survivors—and in truth, so much of my own suffering; I knew there would come a time I would write this very book. I wasn’t ready then, but I’m ready now. 
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And because this trauma deeply ruptures our relationship to ourselves; our own body — the healing must always include and repair how we relate to ourselves, too.
May it be so.
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