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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

December 6, 2017 ·

Waiting for a Miracle {Guest Post for The Redbud Post}

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Happy Advent, dear readers!

If you’ve been following along with me for awhile, you’ll recognize this piece from last year, written prior to the birth of our new son. However, I had a chance to contribute to the newest addition of The Redbud Post which features experiencing Advent: The Sacred Amidst the Secular, and I knew this piece would be a good fit. I pray it meets you in the hustle and bustle of the season and invites you to see God in your moments. 

Grace + Peace, 

Aundi 


Growing up in the Catholic tradition, I learned Advent was rich with meaning and longing. I remember how the time between the initial Advent mass and Christmas Eve felt like a sacred eternity. One year, I decided I would stick it out and stay up until midnight mass with my dad. When the hour finally rolled around, I was full of food and heavy with exhaustion. I barely remember the service, but I do remember the sense of beauty there.

While I no longer identify as a Catholic, I have always connected with the significance infused in this season. Perhaps, as a person who frequently searches and yearns for meaning, I find goodness in honoring the wait as much as the arrival of Jesus. I see a metaphor for our lives here on earth. We are the “already, but not yet” people. Jesus came to us over 2,000 years ago and brought his kingdom. And, though his work has begun, it’s not yet finished. So we wait, still, for the fullness of his arrival.

While Advent has always been sacred for me, this year feels especially precious. Even now as I write, we are waiting for the arrival of our own miracle due on Christmas Day—a baby boy; one we’ve longed for and dreamed about for several years now.

Last year, a few weeks before Christmas, we found out I was pregnant with another deeply hoped for baby. We went through Christmas expectant for what was to come. My perceptive four-year-old daughter knew something was happening, and we shared with her our exciting news. Then January brought heartache and difficulty, as we found the baby in my belly didn’t seem to be growing. 

I’d love for you to keep reading over at The Redbud Post {And while you’re there, check out the other beautiful offerings too}. 

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Previous Post: « The Spiritual Act of Honoring Pain
Next Post: 3 Ways to Support Someone Recovering From Trauma {Guest Post for Relevant Magazine} »
It’s really hard to experience God as safe when yo It’s really hard to experience God as safe when you’re taught theology that defends abusers and abandons the abused.
🌿
May there be a repair for every untruth that has facilitated your harm.
🌿
May your healing come. 🙏
(As always take what you need). #StayWithYourself 
#TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #religioustrauma survivor-centered trauma-informed
Being able to name our experience is so helpful & Being able to name our experience is so helpful & important, but with the fawn response—it can start to feel suffocating to know about what we’re experiencing and feel like we can’t change it. 
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And yet, we can learn to work “with” our fawn response; living from our Center instead of survival. #staywithyourself #trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd
If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what y If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what you need to stay with yourself.🕯️#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #LoveyourneighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
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Fawn, fawn response, cPTSD, healing, nervous system, religious trauma, attachment trauma, alignment, faith and mental health
A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat o A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat on the release of his newest offering, “Who You’re Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age.” This is a phenomenally timely book, written by someone who works to embody what he writes. I was honored to endorse it. Here’s what I said:
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“In the midst of our unmoored, image obsessed culture, Dr. Chuck DeGroat offers us the grounding wisdom we so often forget: God is with us as we become ourselves. With kindness and deft insight, DeGroat leads us through the practical, courageous, and often slow work required to cultivate maturity and true character. In so doing, Who You’re Becoming serves as a powerful and needed guide for anyone wanting to go beyond a try-hard faith or mere surface level change—so they can deepen into their truest, beloved selves.”
Aundi Kolber MA, LPC
Therapist & Author of Try Softer and Strong like Water
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Congrats, Chuck! You can find “Who You’re Becoming” wherever books are sold (link in stories or check out an excerpt on my substack today—also in stories 🎉)
#WhoYoureBecoming
There can be so much valid grief that comes from l There can be so much valid grief that comes from losing relationships while you heal.*
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But if you have to choose between keeping a relationship & keeping you—l hope you choose you.
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God does not abandon you, & you don’t have to abandon yourself either. Selah. 
(As always, take what you need 🕯️)
#StayWithYourself #Fawning #TrySofter #Cptsd #narcissticabuse 
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Need more resources & insight? You can pre-order my newest offering, “Stay With Yourself,” that addresses exactly these issues (link in profile).
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*For example, from setting healthy boundaries, advocating for yourself, or being unwilling to participate in toxic dynamics.
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 Boundaries | embodied boundaries | interpersonal trauma | relationships | self compassion | integrating faith and mental health
Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emo Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emotions around injustice or harm一but rather so we can access the clarity to live in alignment even amidst intensity.
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And so may you find Ground that holds you steady.
#StayWithYourself #StronglikeWater #TrySofter #regulation #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨ #StayWithYourself #Try May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #HealAnyway #TakeWhatYouNee
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Fawn | trauma | trauma resolution | cPTSD | religious trauma | nervous system | attachment trauma | complex trauma | grief | faith and mental health | self compassion | compassionate attention
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