• About Me
  • Videos
    • Try Softer Guided Journey Videos
    • Strong Like Water Guided Journey Videos
  • Books
    • Try Softer
    • The Try Softer Guided Journey
    • Strong like Water
    • Strong Like Water: Guided Journey
    • Take What You Need
  • Work with Me
  • Speaking & Consulting
  • Podcasts
  • Contact
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • RSS
    • Twitter
Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

February 19, 2015 ·

Anchors

Uncategorized

It’s difficult to imagine it now, but my 5’4″ self played college basketball. You know how a lot of people get stopped and asked if they do things, like play sports?

Yeah, that wasn’t me.

It didn’t stop me from loving the game of basketball though. If anything, my size made me hungry to step on the court and play my heart out.

But all my passion never erased my fear. And fear is a big deal.

I vividly remember one of my first games in college. I can still smell the salt of the popcorn maker from the concession stand as we prepared to go out for warmup. To this day, when I smell popcorn in a gym my stomach tightens up a little. 

One of my older teammates had a practice of writing a scripture on her shoes for the season as a reminder. I loved that idea, and decided to do it, too. I quickly wrote the scripture that had been given as my life verse several years earlier by my mom:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go”

— Joshua 1:9

Even now, as I remember those moments before stepping out to my first college basketball game, I remember what courage it took to BE in the moment. Usually when we’re scared, anxious, angry, or sad it can be so very hard to stay present because that moment feels intolerable.

The verse I wrote on my shoe was a solid, tangible reminder, that I was capable of being in this moment. Just having it on my feet, made me conscious of it when I walked on that court and drew me into the present. Even more, I believed God had promised that He would be with me in the moment and wherever I went. 

In counseling, we often use strategies like “grounding” or “mindfulness” to help folks stay present. The benefit is that when a person is able to stay present it allows their body to process the information/emotion that is being experienced and allows them to keep moving forward without getting “stuck” in the negative emotion i.e. fear. Because when disturbing emotions do get “stuck,” these can create roots for traumas or anxieties. Alternately, when we are able to stay present, we aren’t having to deal with the past or the future and thus we may feel more at ease with just this small chunk of “now” and are less apt to have a root of anxiety around that situation. 

In a way this is what my shoe verse provided. It was a form of distress tolerance for this moment of fear. What I love is that God is faithful in providing these for us. He IS the ultimate distress tolerance.  

While I didn’t understand the significance of my actions then, now as an adult, I am beginning to get why anchors that remind us of truth IN our moments matter. Because the reality is that life is hard and scary…and good. And sometimes we need help staying in the moment that has all of these characteristics in them. 

We all need anchors for our moments that remind us that it is not up to us to fix the past, nor to control the future. God calls us to abide in Him, in this very moment. 

 

What helps you to stay present in your moments? 

 


I’ve linked up this week over at: Intentionally Pursuing the Heart of God, Teressa Jane , Simplified Life, Redemption Diaries, Jennifer Dukes Lee and Suzanne Eller

 

 

 

 

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
Previous Post: « When We Sit in the Longing
Next Post: When We Miss the Connection »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Jennifer Hand says

    February 19, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    wow. I love this post. What a powerful reminder of the anchor to our fear. I am finding that often the things God has called me to are a wonderful mix of joy and fearfully stepping out in obedience and victory. I love this reminder to be present in the moment following Jesus and the word as the anchor. I a full time speakr and everytime I get up to speak for an event I can find myself afraid… yet called by God to step out in obedience anyway. This was beautiful my fellow living free sister!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 20, 2015 at 2:44 am

      Jennifer,
      Thank you for saying hello and for reading. I agree it is such a mix of feelings with living in our moments– I love that God gave us himself to calm all of fears in the midst of it. Thanks for sharing your experience. Best to you!

  2. Crystal Storms says

    February 20, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    Dear Aundi, I love your life verse and how God’s Word brings you courage to be in the moment because He is right there with you. One thing I do to help me stay in the moment and not be overwhelmed by fear or anxiety is squeezing my right hand, which reminds me God walks with me.

    "I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken." Psalm 16:8

    Thank you, Aundi, for sharing your encouraging words at #IntentionalTuesday.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 20, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      Crystal,
      I love that "anchor" of squeezing your hand. What a beautiful and tangible reminder that God walks with you. Thank you for saying hello and for your kind words!

  3. Becky Goerend says

    February 20, 2015 at 6:54 pm

    What a beautiful post and a great reminder. I needed this today! Thanks for linking up with Tuesday Talk!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 20, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      Becky,
      Thanks so much. I appreciate you stopping in to say hello!

  4. Kim S says

    February 21, 2015 at 1:22 pm

    Thank you for your encouragement today – will meditate on Joshua 1:9 as my anchor this weekend. #livefreeThursday
    Have a great one, Kim Stewart
    http://www.kimstewartinspired.com

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 22, 2015 at 2:50 am

      Kim, thanks so much for stopping by! It’s a great verse, I hope it encourages you. Best to you today.

  5. Victoria Mininger says

    February 24, 2015 at 8:36 pm

    Beautifully said! Worship music helps me stay present. It calms my heart when life gets out of place and helps to give me pause to re-group. Thanks so much for coming by and sharing with us on Simply Inspired Wednesday’s at the Simplified Life. I hope you will join us again tomorrow. ~Victoria

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 25, 2015 at 7:10 pm

      Victoria, thank you so much for sharing your "anchor." I agree, music is very helpful. Thanks for having me at the link up too! I appreciate you hosting it.

It was such an honor to write this blog for @annvo It was such an honor to write this blog for @annvoskamp, but also…whew, it was a tender one to share. It seems this is often the way of healing.🫶🏻 
.
It’s been just over 3 months since “Take What You Need” released and it’s been a sacred joy to hear from so many of you that you have felt seen + witnessed in those pages. In these times that are filled with much disconnection, fear, and frozenness—I pray we can have access to the groundedness we need to love our neighbor *as* ourselves. May we all have what we need to access the deep God-given wisdom available to us. Selah.
.
I’d be honored if you’d consider reading the whole blog over at annvoskamp.com (link in my stories) & and if you haven’t already—pick up a copy of “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days” (link in profile) 🌿
It was such a privilege to preach at @christchurch It was such a privilege to preach at @christchurch.us this last Sunday about what it means that we are Held by God in our pain + how that can empower us to try softer. Especially knowing what a tender + at times complex holiday Mother’s Day can be—it felt especially meaningful to offer this message. 
.
And, it was a special bonus to be invited by our dear friend @steveryancarter + to spend time with the lovely @heysarahcarter, too. So much goodness. Thanks for the incredible hospitality, @christchurch.us! 🫶🏻
#trysofter #takewhatyouneed #stronglikewater
Hello, my dears…it has been a long while since I Hello, my dears…it has been a long while since I’ve been here and I’m peeking my head in to say hi. I’ve been taking some extended time off of social media and it’s has been helpful, needed, and clarifying—though I miss connecting with you all here.
.
A few months ago, I shared that I’m troubled by much of IG’s current framework (more on that in stories.) Sooo I’m working to change how I show up here and I think some of that will mean that parts of my public work will be other places. I don’t have all of it figured out yet, but I hope you’ll stay tuned and I will be sure to share more as I have it available. Either way, thanks for being here. I hope you’re taking care of yourself, using your voice and influence in the ways that you’re able. May we all have what we need to heal anyway. 🫶🏻
#TrySofter #TakeWhatYouNeed #HealAnyway #StronglikeWater
Thinking about this as we end the week: It can be Thinking about this as we end the week: It can be so disorienting and disturbing when you’ve experienced abuse or oppression that is targeted at making you question your reality.
🌿
So frequently in this kind of situation we learn to mistrust ourselves as a way to make sense of what is happening; even if our perceptions are indeed accurate. 
🌿
Often, at least part of the repair to this kind of experience starts with being fully seen & validated in the presence of someone else’s compassionate, attuned attention. This safety allows us to rebuild our internal templates— at whatever pace we’re able—so that we can ultimately come to believe ourselves (again or for the first time) & and live more and more from our true God-given self. #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
.
.
Need more resources + insight? Follow along at @aundikolber or check out my books, “Try Softer,” “Strong like Water,” and “Take What You Need” (links in profile 💛)
.
*alt text in post*
Today is Ash Wednesday in the Christian tradition, Today is Ash Wednesday in the Christian tradition, and though there are many different significant insights from this day and the whole Lenten season—one important element I’m thinking about today is this: 
We are not machines. 
We are not objects. 
We are not check lists.
We are not commodities. 
We are not projects. 
We are not drive through windows.
We are not trash receptacles. 
We are fragile, resilient, and oh, so, Beloved humans that will someday be dust. But even then, we will be sacred dust.
🌿
In a time where dehumanizing rhetoric seems to rule the day, particularly towards those who have already been the most marginalized—may our finite humanity be an invitation to remember how we want to live & move in the world. #TrySofter #CompassionateAttention #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
.
*alt text included in post*
So much of trauma takes away choice, and so it mat So much of trauma takes away choice, and so it matters deeply that the language we use in healing reflects empowerment and repair.
.
Through the years, I have worked to find words that help translate an invitational, survivor centered, trauma informed ethos into language. I am certainly not perfect, and in many ways that’s the point, isn’t it? All of us are in process and I think that—as we are able—staying connected to that humility allows us to stay open to growing & working toward loving our neighbor *as* ourselves.
.
Tonight I was thinking about the many phrases that have reminded me of this open posture—and I was inspired to write down a few. (I have loved seeing this poetry format floating around the internet—kuddos to the originator 🙏🏻)
.
📙Needing more resources & insight? I’d be honored if you check out my newest offering that released just two weeks ago: “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days” (link in profile 🌻) #TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater
.
.
*Alt text included in post*
Today is my 42nd birthday—and I’ll tell you wh Today is my 42nd birthday—and I’ll tell you what, I feel deeply grateful to be alive. What a privilege it is to grow older. This last year was hard in ways I haven’t been able to fully share, but I think someday I will. But here’s what I noticed in myself this last year: more so than ever before I have learned to trust the voice God has given me & the wisdom placed within me.
🌿
A significant portion of the trauma & particularly narcissistic abuse I experienced in my life has been targeted at causing me to disbelieve my own reality, experience, strength, and integrity. It caused me so much suffering not to know if I could believe myself. It has been the hardest work of my life to choose—again and again—to be on my own damn team. To know God is already waiting for me to see how loved I am; to see the people who choose me; to see the Goodness already present around me; to embody what I have devoted my life to teaching, speaking, and writing about.
🌿
Thank you for being here; my heart is full. #TrySofter #TakeWhatYouNeed #StronglikeWater #cptsd #narcissticabuse #healanyway
Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2025 Aundi Kolber · Design by Bethany Ruth

    all fields required

    Would you like to subscribe to Aundi's email updates?
    YesNo