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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

February 19, 2015 ·

Anchors

Uncategorized

It’s difficult to imagine it now, but my 5’4″ self played college basketball. You know how a lot of people get stopped and asked if they do things, like play sports?

Yeah, that wasn’t me.

It didn’t stop me from loving the game of basketball though. If anything, my size made me hungry to step on the court and play my heart out.

But all my passion never erased my fear. And fear is a big deal.

I vividly remember one of my first games in college. I can still smell the salt of the popcorn maker from the concession stand as we prepared to go out for warmup. To this day, when I smell popcorn in a gym my stomach tightens up a little. 

One of my older teammates had a practice of writing a scripture on her shoes for the season as a reminder. I loved that idea, and decided to do it, too. I quickly wrote the scripture that had been given as my life verse several years earlier by my mom:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go”

— Joshua 1:9

Even now, as I remember those moments before stepping out to my first college basketball game, I remember what courage it took to BE in the moment. Usually when we’re scared, anxious, angry, or sad it can be so very hard to stay present because that moment feels intolerable.

The verse I wrote on my shoe was a solid, tangible reminder, that I was capable of being in this moment. Just having it on my feet, made me conscious of it when I walked on that court and drew me into the present. Even more, I believed God had promised that He would be with me in the moment and wherever I went. 

In counseling, we often use strategies like “grounding” or “mindfulness” to help folks stay present. The benefit is that when a person is able to stay present it allows their body to process the information/emotion that is being experienced and allows them to keep moving forward without getting “stuck” in the negative emotion i.e. fear. Because when disturbing emotions do get “stuck,” these can create roots for traumas or anxieties. Alternately, when we are able to stay present, we aren’t having to deal with the past or the future and thus we may feel more at ease with just this small chunk of “now” and are less apt to have a root of anxiety around that situation. 

In a way this is what my shoe verse provided. It was a form of distress tolerance for this moment of fear. What I love is that God is faithful in providing these for us. He IS the ultimate distress tolerance.  

While I didn’t understand the significance of my actions then, now as an adult, I am beginning to get why anchors that remind us of truth IN our moments matter. Because the reality is that life is hard and scary…and good. And sometimes we need help staying in the moment that has all of these characteristics in them. 

We all need anchors for our moments that remind us that it is not up to us to fix the past, nor to control the future. God calls us to abide in Him, in this very moment. 

 

What helps you to stay present in your moments? 

 


I’ve linked up this week over at: Intentionally Pursuing the Heart of God, Teressa Jane , Simplified Life, Redemption Diaries, Jennifer Dukes Lee and Suzanne Eller

 

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. Jennifer Hand says

    February 19, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    wow. I love this post. What a powerful reminder of the anchor to our fear. I am finding that often the things God has called me to are a wonderful mix of joy and fearfully stepping out in obedience and victory. I love this reminder to be present in the moment following Jesus and the word as the anchor. I a full time speakr and everytime I get up to speak for an event I can find myself afraid… yet called by God to step out in obedience anyway. This was beautiful my fellow living free sister!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 20, 2015 at 2:44 am

      Jennifer,
      Thank you for saying hello and for reading. I agree it is such a mix of feelings with living in our moments– I love that God gave us himself to calm all of fears in the midst of it. Thanks for sharing your experience. Best to you!

  2. Crystal Storms says

    February 20, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    Dear Aundi, I love your life verse and how God’s Word brings you courage to be in the moment because He is right there with you. One thing I do to help me stay in the moment and not be overwhelmed by fear or anxiety is squeezing my right hand, which reminds me God walks with me.

    "I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken." Psalm 16:8

    Thank you, Aundi, for sharing your encouraging words at #IntentionalTuesday.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 20, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      Crystal,
      I love that "anchor" of squeezing your hand. What a beautiful and tangible reminder that God walks with you. Thank you for saying hello and for your kind words!

  3. Becky Goerend says

    February 20, 2015 at 6:54 pm

    What a beautiful post and a great reminder. I needed this today! Thanks for linking up with Tuesday Talk!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 20, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      Becky,
      Thanks so much. I appreciate you stopping in to say hello!

  4. Kim S says

    February 21, 2015 at 1:22 pm

    Thank you for your encouragement today – will meditate on Joshua 1:9 as my anchor this weekend. #livefreeThursday
    Have a great one, Kim Stewart
    http://www.kimstewartinspired.com

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 22, 2015 at 2:50 am

      Kim, thanks so much for stopping by! It’s a great verse, I hope it encourages you. Best to you today.

  5. Victoria Mininger says

    February 24, 2015 at 8:36 pm

    Beautifully said! Worship music helps me stay present. It calms my heart when life gets out of place and helps to give me pause to re-group. Thanks so much for coming by and sharing with us on Simply Inspired Wednesday’s at the Simplified Life. I hope you will join us again tomorrow. ~Victoria

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 25, 2015 at 7:10 pm

      Victoria, thank you so much for sharing your "anchor." I agree, music is very helpful. Thanks for having me at the link up too! I appreciate you hosting it.

May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
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*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
Take What You Need // However this weekend finds y Take What You Need // However this weekend finds you, I hope you feel loved. 🫶🏻 #MothersDay #TrySofter #Cptsd #infertility #beloved
Learning to believe your own experience is a vital Learning to believe your own experience is a vital part of healing from relational trauma, especially experiences like narcissistic abuse. For survivors, it’s often been safer to discount your internal world than it is to believe yourself. And this makes sense, because we were wired for connection. But connection was never meant to be a weapon and it’s only when we start to be grounded in reality that we can untangle love or friendship from harm. 
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As we begin to have to have capacity to honor the truth of our experience, we develop the inner trust to live more and more in alignment. May it be so.
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If it feels like a resource, this practice is for you. #takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #cptsd
Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, greetings to you Maycemeber); but I have found myself full up. I have been full with a whole bunch of goodness; good work, but also intensity. Projects and commitments that require a me that is grounded, resourced, & clear. It’s often in those times that I especially remember we are invited to do the gentle & fierce work of keeping our eyes out for goodness. Even the smallest bits matter. What a paradox; its goodness & beauty & connection that help fuel us to meet the difficult demands of being a human. And particularly as a trauma survivor, I am reminded that I, that each of us, get to participate in our own repair. What sacred work. 
🌿
If it feels like a resource, I’ll leave you with this:
🌿
May mercy and goodness ground you in your body, your relationships, and in your place. Made the co-regulating love of the God of the universe be in, above, and around you. May it lead you Home again + again.
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Thank you to @benrector for a fabulous concert. Grateful for my writing pal @ashlee_eiland & her amazing staff at Living Stones for being a wonderful & attentive audience today. Big love & gratitude to a husband (@bckolber) + kiddos who light up with joy alongside me, and thank you to @stewartdantec for sharing the fabulous James Baldwin quote.
Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving p Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving pain. Coming to honor the truth of our experience is not an indication of our weakness but a move toward deeper integration.🕯️
Sending love. #trysofter #fawn #beloved #stronglikewater #cptsd
Good morning 🌿 Take what you need.🙏 . Inhale: My Good morning 🌿 
Take what you need.🙏
.
Inhale: My work is not to prove myself
Exhale: It’s to be myself 
#beloved #trysofter #compassionateattention #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻 #trysofter #lovenotest For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻
#trysofter #lovenotestomynervoussystem #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #takewhatyouneed
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