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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

February 19, 2015 ·

Anchors

Uncategorized

It’s difficult to imagine it now, but my 5’4″ self played college basketball. You know how a lot of people get stopped and asked if they do things, like play sports?

Yeah, that wasn’t me.

It didn’t stop me from loving the game of basketball though. If anything, my size made me hungry to step on the court and play my heart out.

But all my passion never erased my fear. And fear is a big deal.

I vividly remember one of my first games in college. I can still smell the salt of the popcorn maker from the concession stand as we prepared to go out for warmup. To this day, when I smell popcorn in a gym my stomach tightens up a little. 

One of my older teammates had a practice of writing a scripture on her shoes for the season as a reminder. I loved that idea, and decided to do it, too. I quickly wrote the scripture that had been given as my life verse several years earlier by my mom:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go”

— Joshua 1:9

Even now, as I remember those moments before stepping out to my first college basketball game, I remember what courage it took to BE in the moment. Usually when we’re scared, anxious, angry, or sad it can be so very hard to stay present because that moment feels intolerable.

The verse I wrote on my shoe was a solid, tangible reminder, that I was capable of being in this moment. Just having it on my feet, made me conscious of it when I walked on that court and drew me into the present. Even more, I believed God had promised that He would be with me in the moment and wherever I went. 

In counseling, we often use strategies like “grounding” or “mindfulness” to help folks stay present. The benefit is that when a person is able to stay present it allows their body to process the information/emotion that is being experienced and allows them to keep moving forward without getting “stuck” in the negative emotion i.e. fear. Because when disturbing emotions do get “stuck,” these can create roots for traumas or anxieties. Alternately, when we are able to stay present, we aren’t having to deal with the past or the future and thus we may feel more at ease with just this small chunk of “now” and are less apt to have a root of anxiety around that situation. 

In a way this is what my shoe verse provided. It was a form of distress tolerance for this moment of fear. What I love is that God is faithful in providing these for us. He IS the ultimate distress tolerance.  

While I didn’t understand the significance of my actions then, now as an adult, I am beginning to get why anchors that remind us of truth IN our moments matter. Because the reality is that life is hard and scary…and good. And sometimes we need help staying in the moment that has all of these characteristics in them. 

We all need anchors for our moments that remind us that it is not up to us to fix the past, nor to control the future. God calls us to abide in Him, in this very moment. 

 

What helps you to stay present in your moments? 

 


I’ve linked up this week over at: Intentionally Pursuing the Heart of God, Teressa Jane , Simplified Life, Redemption Diaries, Jennifer Dukes Lee and Suzanne Eller

 

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. Jennifer Hand says

    February 19, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    wow. I love this post. What a powerful reminder of the anchor to our fear. I am finding that often the things God has called me to are a wonderful mix of joy and fearfully stepping out in obedience and victory. I love this reminder to be present in the moment following Jesus and the word as the anchor. I a full time speakr and everytime I get up to speak for an event I can find myself afraid… yet called by God to step out in obedience anyway. This was beautiful my fellow living free sister!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 20, 2015 at 2:44 am

      Jennifer,
      Thank you for saying hello and for reading. I agree it is such a mix of feelings with living in our moments– I love that God gave us himself to calm all of fears in the midst of it. Thanks for sharing your experience. Best to you!

  2. Crystal Storms says

    February 20, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    Dear Aundi, I love your life verse and how God’s Word brings you courage to be in the moment because He is right there with you. One thing I do to help me stay in the moment and not be overwhelmed by fear or anxiety is squeezing my right hand, which reminds me God walks with me.

    "I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken." Psalm 16:8

    Thank you, Aundi, for sharing your encouraging words at #IntentionalTuesday.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 20, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      Crystal,
      I love that "anchor" of squeezing your hand. What a beautiful and tangible reminder that God walks with you. Thank you for saying hello and for your kind words!

  3. Becky Goerend says

    February 20, 2015 at 6:54 pm

    What a beautiful post and a great reminder. I needed this today! Thanks for linking up with Tuesday Talk!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 20, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      Becky,
      Thanks so much. I appreciate you stopping in to say hello!

  4. Kim S says

    February 21, 2015 at 1:22 pm

    Thank you for your encouragement today – will meditate on Joshua 1:9 as my anchor this weekend. #livefreeThursday
    Have a great one, Kim Stewart
    http://www.kimstewartinspired.com

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 22, 2015 at 2:50 am

      Kim, thanks so much for stopping by! It’s a great verse, I hope it encourages you. Best to you today.

  5. Victoria Mininger says

    February 24, 2015 at 8:36 pm

    Beautifully said! Worship music helps me stay present. It calms my heart when life gets out of place and helps to give me pause to re-group. Thanks so much for coming by and sharing with us on Simply Inspired Wednesday’s at the Simplified Life. I hope you will join us again tomorrow. ~Victoria

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 25, 2015 at 7:10 pm

      Victoria, thank you so much for sharing your "anchor." I agree, music is very helpful. Thanks for having me at the link up too! I appreciate you hosting it.

Joining the chorus to honor an extraordinary woman Joining the chorus to honor an extraordinary woman. Thank you for your light and life, Dolly. #ripdolly
Happy Friday.✨✌🏻❤️ // Take What You Need #trysoft Happy Friday.✨✌🏻❤️ // Take What You Need 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #trauma #healanyway
It is my delight & honor to celebrate my dear frie It is my delight & honor to celebrate my dear friend, Dr. Alison Cook, as she releases her brand new book, “The Secure Soul: Finding Inner Strength and Connection When Trust Doesn’t Come Easy” (and the companion book too!🎉)
🌿
Dr. Cook, (or Alison, as I’ll call her now ;) is not only someone that I admire & respect professionally, but she has become a trusted real-life friend. Through this last several years, I’ve especially appreciated our kindship as we traverse the rewarding, interesting (and sometimes very complicated) world of being a public facing therapist, author, and speaker. 
🌿
Alison asked if I would be willing to endorse her newest offering, and it was a great privilege to do so, here’s what I said: 
🌿
Written in the impactful tradition of books like “Hinds Feet On High Places,” Dr. Alison Cook offers us a stunning parable about the sacred work of being human—and the God who meets us in the repair. ‘The Secure Soul’ is wildly timely and timeless; a tender, thoughtful, and moving read. This is a fabulous book for anyone engaging the holistic healing God invites us toward.’ 
—Aundi Kolber, MA, LPC
🌿
I truly believe “The Secure Soul” will be a balm to anyone who’s struggled to find safety & repair not only with God, not only with others, but with themselves too. You can read an excerpt on my Substack today (link in stories), or pick up the book anywhere books are sold (I’ll also have a link in stories).
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Congrats, Alison! So grateful for your deep work. 🏔️
#SecureSoul #EarnedSecureAttachment #TrySofter #Attachment #StronglikeWater
A few thoughts on finding your voice after harm & A few thoughts on finding your voice after harm & learning to befriend anger.✌🏻 
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May there come a day when you do not fear the power of your God-given voice. And may every trauma survivor come to know their anger is a profound ally in their healing journey.
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*And yes, all the caveats that our anger never gives us a reason or justification for causing harm. Rather, healthy anger is used as fuel to help us mobilize an appropriate response of advocacy or protection when harm has occurred. #stronglikewater #trysofter #healanyway #cptsd #fawning
I’ve loved this trend so I thought I’d offer a few I’ve loved this trend so I thought I’d offer a few of my own (take what you need💛).
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Edited to add: I'm not sure what that weird line is in my first slide! It should read: "Kinda chic to become the person you needed when you were younger." :)
#trysofter #stronglikewater #fierceselfcompassion #beloved #cptsd
“No matter how beautiful it is.” 🌿 In the way & t “No matter how beautiful it is.” 🌿 
In the way & the pace you are able—may it be so. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #compassionateresourcing #internalizedsafety
Attachment trauma & wounding can have profound imp Attachment trauma & wounding can have profound implications—particularly because of the ways it causes us to feel isolated; like no one could ever be trusted. It’s important to say this is valid—our body often adapts in this way because of real harm we’ve experienced. Yet, as we are able, so much of healing work is about learning to keep our eyes open for repair, even as we honor, grieve, & integrate all we’ve lived through.
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I think that’s why this love note is always so meaningful to me, and if it feels like a resource—I offer it to you too. 🌿#trysofter #beloved #stronglikewater #healanyway #cptsd
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P.s. have you heard this @mumfordandsons song? The lyrics are literally “with my hand over your heart.” Let’s go.✨🫶🏻
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