• About Me
  • Videos
    • Try Softer Guided Journey Videos
    • Strong Like Water Guided Journey Videos
  • Books
    • Try Softer
    • The Try Softer Guided Journey
    • Strong like Water
    • Strong Like Water: Guided Journey
    • Take What You Need
  • Work with Me
  • Speaking & Consulting
  • Podcasts
  • Contact
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • RSS
    • Twitter
Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

June 12, 2015 ·

Becoming Un-Stuck

Uncategorized

The dark sky is swirling above me and clouds are forming. Like the weather, I feel pretty gloomy because I feel stuck; the sense that nothing I do will create movement or change. I wonder whether I will address this issue or that one? Do I put my energy here, here or here? My vision feels blurry and frankly I just want to nap.

Stuck-ness can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re not equipped to become un-stuck. 

As I sigh deeply, I feel disappointment lay heavy like a wet blanket, surrounding me, but not with comfort. And one more time I think; it’s still not happening.

I wonder if you’ve ever been there?

Maybe you didn’t get recognized or the guy you were interested in couldn’t care less. Maybe a person you depend on let you down deeply. 

Maybe it’s a church situation that causes you to question faith. It might even be the exhaustion that comes from parenting small people EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. 

Any of those events can trigger the feeling.

But each of those moments can place us at a crossroads. Does this current reality define me or is there a deeper truth to lean into? How do we honor our current pain while also creating momentum to move forward?

And when I say momentum, I mean that curious thing which makes you feel motivated and strangely capable.

I remember feeling it on the basketball court. It’s the energy that comes with a steal and a made shot; the look teammates share when they see one another’s determination. It’s like someone put fire in your step and precision in your movement and it’s palpable. 

That’s momentum.

I’ve felt it in everyday life too. Several good breaks paired with wise decisions…maybe a job you were aiming for and the house you wanted worked out. It could even look like people in your tribe standing confidently by your side. What an interesting phenomenon that momentum creates.

When we break down these two opposites (stuck vs. momentum), it can be easy to dismiss them to luck, or blessing. And truthfully, I do believe there is always an element of blessing each of us experiences in any positive situation. God is gracious to us in that way.

But we have some choice too.

I love the Serenity Prayer as it touches on the choices we face:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”

In the murky places of stuck-ness the Serenity prayer reminds us that God is our source and giver of peace for things we cannot change. And He is the highest resource of courage for things we can. Finally, it’s a reminder that we must bring good judgement as we navigate the difference. 

I find that much of our stuck-ness is born from missing these principles. 

Like shackles that hold us down, trying to control what is not ours causes us to feel powerless. And denying the grief that comes from that reality adds more chains. 

When we accept reality we can begin to embrace the possibility that we have power to make good choices and that, dear reader, is where momentum is born.

Doing the next right thing.

Even the smallest, seemingly inconsequential, action can be the next right thing. And when we put our energy into those decisions, they add up.

Like a player who lays her heart on the court building momentum with her team, we have that opportunity too. We may not reap rewards immediately, but we may just become un-stuck. 

Share this:

  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
Previous Post: « Moment to Moment
Next Post: Will You Take the Leap? »
These are for you, if you’re feeling the weariness These are for you, if you’re feeling the weariness of these days or the reality of the pain in our world. May Compassion be a fuel that allows us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.💛
🌿
Which of these resonate with you today? As always, take what you need, and set down what doesn’t. 
🌿
Aaaaand, just one month late: Happy 1 year anniversary to “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days.” 🥳 I’m so proud and grateful for this little book. Thank you to each of you who’ve shared about it, left reviews, and reminded me why it’s mattered to you. I’m so honored. If you haven’t already, I’d love for you to check it out (link in stories and profile 🌻) @tyndalehouse 
.
(These affirmations aren’t from the book, but they were inspired by the spirit of it.)
#takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater
In our culture, tenderness is often viewed as a li In our culture, tenderness is often viewed as a liability, even and especially the tenderness we gain from healing. But the paradox is, the softness we gain is actually the source of some of our greatest strength. Selah. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #loveyourneighborasyourself
Healing work is not only about us, but make no mis Healing work is not only about us, but make no mistake — it must include us; it must include the relationship we have with ourselves. 
.
At the pace you are able, may your healing come. 
#TrySofter #Stronglikewater #TakeWhatYouNeed #fawning #cptsd
I realize I’m breaking the rules of instagram by p I realize I’m breaking the rules of instagram by posting two selfies in a row, but today is my 43rd birthday so I’m gonna just do the thing. ✌🏻 I’ll say this, it was a hell of a year. I feel proud and grateful, and also, more than a little tired. Waking up to news of wars, widespread sexual abuse cover ups, and the weaponization of a faith I hold dear will do that to anyone paying attention. But also, something I’ve learned as a long term survivor of cPTSD, is how much it matters to hold onto my center; my God-given self. I’ve learned that abuse teaches us to leave ourselves, and we often do, just so we can survive. Which is why it is some of the most sacred work of my life to, by the grace of God, choose to stay instead. 
.
And so that is how I’m entering this year: tenaciously committed to the life + self God has given me, to the people around me, to the work that is a privilege to do. To, as the prophet Micah once wrote, “act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
.
Thanks to each of you who have been here, who have supported my work, who have spoken life into me. I do not take it lightly. Grateful. xx
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
.
Pink shirt in 1st photo is from @treetopscollective (check out their important work on behalf of refugees in the Grand Rapids, MI. Also, this isn’t an ad, I just love their work :)
Leaving this here to mark the fact that I just tur Leaving this here to mark the fact that I just turned in my 3rd full length manuscript 😭🕯️. Y’all. i. AM. tIRed.
I cannot wait to share about this book with you in the coming year, but what I can say—is something I used to tell myself when I played a whole lot of basketball: “I’m leaving it all on the floor.” Whew. Happy Friday, my dears. (And now to rest)🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #authorsofinstagram
It’s for you, if you need it.✌🏻#TakeWhatYouNeed # It’s for you, if you need it.✌🏻#TakeWhatYouNeed 
#TrySofter #StronglikeWater #LoveNotesToMyNervousSystem
This is an evergreen message, but it’s perhaps esp This is an evergreen message, but it’s perhaps especially timely as we navigate this cultural moment. Compassion is soft, but it doesn’t fold. 🌿
#BelieveSurvivors #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2026 Aundi Kolber · Design by Bethany Ruth

    all fields required

    Would you like to subscribe to Aundi's email updates?
    YesNo