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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

June 4, 2015 ·

Moment to Moment

Uncategorized

I stared down at her plump cheeks and her dark lashes and thought, ‘I have so much to do today.’

“But mom, please put on your party dress.”

She handed me the crotchet blanket that would serve as my dress. Not unlike many mornings, my Tiny wanted me to focus on her for a while; she wanted me to enter her world of imagination.

Sometimes I am able to do that really well. I have begun to appreciate that she’s 3, and take advantage of the moments; it will surely change soon. I don’t want to miss them. 

I have found when I acknowledge the value of a moment, there’s grace there. My ‘to do’ list is not gone, but I find God gives me the courage and strength to accomplish important things. 

It causes me to remember a post from awhile back by Micha Boyett called “An Invitation to Choose the Better Thing.” Micha is a lovely writer and she ponders the story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10. Typically, most of us believe we are EITHER a Martha or Mary. Micha wonders if we can actually be both? She invites us to recognize that in every moment we can choose the better thing. (If you haven’t read it, please stop and do so. Seriously.)

Micha summarizes her perspective this way:

“What is the better thing in this moment? That’s the question. Not whether you’re a Mary or a Martha. But whether you’re wise enough to discern the opportunity for peace and joy that is being offered to you— now, right here— in the presence of Jesus. ”

— Micha Boyett

Micha’s post has resonated with me since I read it because I’m not always a Martha or Mary. It’s not that simple. I can be all of those things; both a focused, task oriented doer and and a lover of moments and people. I connect with the Lord and people in both of those spaces. 

In Luke 10:41-42, Jesus says to Martha: ‘ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’

It’s interesting that what Jesus honors about Mary is her recognition in the moment of the better thing. And for that moment, it was to experience God’s presence by relishing Jesus and sitting at his feet. 

This morning, choosing the better thing meant I needed to be present with my daughter. She needed me to put down my tasks and distractions and revel in summer, and imagination and morning snuggles. 

The better thing for me was to notice the patchy sunlight coming through the trees, and taste the earthiness of my coffee. 

I met God in that moment. That’s how I’m certain I chose the better thing.

He gave me peace for that tiny sliver of time. Like the Israelites in the desert who God provided for day by day; God does this for me too. It still inspires awe in me when it happens, a tiny miracle just for me.

But let’s not forget about Martha. Her desire to serve Jesus through hospitality was admirable; sometimes that can be the better thing. Yet, she carried worry and frustration with her. It causes me to wonder if she knew the better thing was actually to stop and sink into the moment, but her sense of obligation and guilt kept her on her path. 

I can be like that too, I have empathy for how Martha came to that place. 

But what if her heart had been different? If she had been setting the table, making the food and prepping the house for Jesus out of an authentic desire; would she have been choosing the better thing?

Possibly, but I am not sure and I don’t want to read that into scripture. 

Yet, it’s a reminder for me that when I serve, I want to do it from authenticity. Because serving is needed, beautiful, and helpful.

What I want you to see here, dear reader, is this isn’t an either/or situation in regards to choosing the better thing. This is a both/and situation, in which we experience God both through sinking into presence and by serving; and the combination can change from moment to moment.

As we stand at the crossroad of moments, I pray that each of us would let go of all the ‘shoulds’ that keep us in unhealthy cycles and instead tap into the only true source of wisdom and peace; that is truly the better thing. 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. Kelly Smith says

    June 5, 2015 at 10:41 am

    I fight obligation, too. Now that the kids are home during the day, it has been hard to switch to mama mode during the school hours. I am trying to remind myself that these summer days of their childhood are short and will be over before I am ready. Thank you for the encouragement today!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      June 6, 2015 at 2:13 pm

      Kelly, thanks so much for stopping in. Yes, obligation can be so difficult and it’s tempting to allow that to rule our choices. I love hearing you remember how short the days truly are. That’s something I’m trying to remind myself daily. Thanks for your encouragement!

In trauma work, this is called “titration”—and it In trauma work, this is called “titration”—and it can be a vital posture to help pace ourselves when we’re faced with too much (whether from past trauma, current overwhelm or both).
🌿
May you have what you need to take the smallest step in the right direction. 🫶🏻
#trysofter
#stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #nervoussystemwork #regulation
But here, may your shattered pieces be gathered; b But here, may your shattered pieces be gathered; back to yourself & back to your Creator.
🌿
Here, may you know it makes sense to feel what you feel.
🌿
You are & may still be passing through the valley of the shadow, so if all you can do is breathe...
🌿
Then breathe.
.
In honor of World Suicide Prevention Day // 
Supporting trauma survivors is suicide prevention 
❤️‍🩹✌🏻 
#trysofter #cptsd #grief #healing #stronglikewater
.
(Originally written and shared in 2022 🫶🏻)
A few soft & fierce notes for you today. As always A few soft & fierce notes for you today. As always, take what you need.🌿
#trysofter #fierceselfcompassion #stronglikewater #cptsd #loveyourneighborASYourself
Whether it’s in a family, a romantic relationship, Whether it’s in a family, a romantic relationship, a church, a Netflix documentary (#MicaMiller), or a friendship—one of the goals of narcissistic abuse is to destabilize and disorient. 
.
May you have what you need to come home to your God-given center.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #narcissisticabuse #cptsd 
Fawning
Holding these thoughts like a prayer tonight. If i Holding these thoughts like a prayer tonight. If it resonates, it’s for you.🫶🏻 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #healing #trauma
A few soft & fierce reminders for you tonight. As A few soft & fierce reminders for you tonight. As always, take what you need.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikwater #LoveYourNeighborAsYourself #cptsd #fawning 
fierceselfcompassion selfcompassion
Am I an expressive speaker? You better believe it. Am I an expressive speaker? You better believe it. 🙃 
🌿
It was an honor to be with The Abundant Conference this weekend in St. Louis, helping to address and resource folks in the work of integrating faith and mental health; and ultimately, leaning into a paradoxical truth that God invites us toward—“to be soft is to be strong.”
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(So much gratitude to The Crossing Church, JoyFM, and each of the gifted speakers who shared their heart and talents. ✨🫶🏻)
#TrySofter #StronglikeWater #Beloved #LoveYourNeighborASYourself 
@curtthompsonmd @iamdavidhawkins @991joyfm @bdwmusic @crossingstl 
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Also, thanks to @emilyachristopher for the first picture.💛
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