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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

September 19, 2017 ·

What I Learned This Summer (Or Why I Didn’t Blog Much This Year)

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As you may (or may not) have noticed, I’ve been scarce on my blog this last year—but especially during the summer.

The truth is, we have been in the middle of high levels of transitions with moving, getting kiddos settled, managing our own emotions around all the upheaval, and simply trying to live. One of my goals in my online sphere is to attempt to practice what I preach. Obviously, I don’t practice it perfectly either (!), but if I had a client who told me they had a baby, were moving to a new town, selling/buying a house, and saying goodbye to beloved friends—I’d likely counsel them to give themselves permission to step back from non-essential responsibilities.

So here we are; trying to both follow my goal to continue working on writing my book while also allowing myself to go as slow as needed.

It’s exciting to feel inspired by something—but let’s face it—it’s hard work, too. And so with all these things occurring, this little blog space has gone a bit to the wayside.

Recently though, I read Addie Zimmerman’s blog, who also took a note from Emily Freeman, and they were both writing on what they learned this summer. Have you read either one of those lovely blogger’s writings? They both make wide spaces available to people and I am grateful for their work.

And so, I realized I wanted to write out some of my thoughts about what I’ve been learning this summer. Here they are:

1.     Remembering to embrace my limits.

I know, it seems pretty obvious, but I have been learning this one in a new way this summer. As the needs of our family have increased in this season, I saw how much I had to return to the reality that I am finite. Each of us can only do so much at one time, and that’s okay. Plus, my limits look different than your limits—and this is also okay. The beautiful thing I continue to remember is that God meets us in our lack, and this can be a gift if we let it.  

2.     Getting outside is the best thing.

I’ve always adored nature, but this summer I was reminded how much I need to see God’s handiwork. In the midst of feeling overwhelmed and taxed by moving boxes, construction, and so so many jackhammers—I experienced the wonder of getting outside and it was awe inspiring and needed. One of the amazing aspects of this is that God designed it this way. Plus, research supports the reality that getting outside can literally change our moods.

3.     Goals are helpful.

Approximately 7 weeks ago, I realized that if I am actually going to write this book, I better get myself in gear. I had been working on in it in spurts and fits. Between naps and tantrums and outings I had tried to work it in—but I was finding it extremely difficult. So, one day I decided I would write everyday and aim for 400-500 words. It hasn’t been perfect, but it’s been helping. There have been a few days, especially after sleepless nights with littles, when I have barely been able to squeak out anything of value. But it’s felt encouraging to see even if the process is slow, it’s still going.

4.     Even when we feel untethered, we can still find home.

My most recent post, way back in July, was all about feeling untethered. If you didn’t get to read it, you can catch it here. I’m happy to say, we’re starting to feel grounded once again. It’s certainly been a process, but one I’m grateful for. One of the most humbling aspects about all this, is that it reminds me we will always be a bit untethered on this earth; there won’t ever be a time when we are completely settled. This is because as a final destination, we were made for heaven.  It’s a paradox that we can feel both at home here in our life and with our people, and yet long for more. With this in mind, I’m reminded to embrace the tension and the bittersweet of loving life right now and longing for the fullness God promises us. 

And so I’m grateful. Grateful for the good and the hard, and the still in process parts of the summer. 

How about you? What did you learn this summer? Tell me below–I’d love to hear!

 

 

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Previous Post: « First We Say Goodbye {On Feeling Untethered}
Next Post: The Spiritual Act of Honoring Pain »
May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
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*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
Take What You Need // However this weekend finds y Take What You Need // However this weekend finds you, I hope you feel loved. 🫶🏻 #MothersDay #TrySofter #Cptsd #infertility #beloved
Learning to believe your own experience is a vital Learning to believe your own experience is a vital part of healing from relational trauma, especially experiences like narcissistic abuse. For survivors, it’s often been safer to discount your internal world than it is to believe yourself. And this makes sense, because we were wired for connection. But connection was never meant to be a weapon and it’s only when we start to be grounded in reality that we can untangle love or friendship from harm. 
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As we begin to have to have capacity to honor the truth of our experience, we develop the inner trust to live more and more in alignment. May it be so.
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If it feels like a resource, this practice is for you. #takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #cptsd
Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, greetings to you Maycemeber); but I have found myself full up. I have been full with a whole bunch of goodness; good work, but also intensity. Projects and commitments that require a me that is grounded, resourced, & clear. It’s often in those times that I especially remember we are invited to do the gentle & fierce work of keeping our eyes out for goodness. Even the smallest bits matter. What a paradox; its goodness & beauty & connection that help fuel us to meet the difficult demands of being a human. And particularly as a trauma survivor, I am reminded that I, that each of us, get to participate in our own repair. What sacred work. 
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If it feels like a resource, I’ll leave you with this:
🌿
May mercy and goodness ground you in your body, your relationships, and in your place. Made the co-regulating love of the God of the universe be in, above, and around you. May it lead you Home again + again.
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Thank you to @benrector for a fabulous concert. Grateful for my writing pal @ashlee_eiland & her amazing staff at Living Stones for being a wonderful & attentive audience today. Big love & gratitude to a husband (@bckolber) + kiddos who light up with joy alongside me, and thank you to @stewartdantec for sharing the fabulous James Baldwin quote.
Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving p Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving pain. Coming to honor the truth of our experience is not an indication of our weakness but a move toward deeper integration.🕯️
Sending love. #trysofter #fawn #beloved #stronglikewater #cptsd
Good morning 🌿 Take what you need.🙏 . Inhale: My Good morning 🌿 
Take what you need.🙏
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Inhale: My work is not to prove myself
Exhale: It’s to be myself 
#beloved #trysofter #compassionateattention #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻 #trysofter #lovenotest For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻
#trysofter #lovenotestomynervoussystem #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #takewhatyouneed
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