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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

April 21, 2019 ·

Easter Changes Everything {Spoken Word Poem}

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Happy Easter! I had the privilege of writing & performing a spoken word poem with my friends over at Westwood Church this morning. I hope it blesses you and helps you to remember how loved we all are (the video is at the bottom).

With deep hope,

Aundi


You whispered in the final minutes before death came, I’m sure—

And what must you have said?

You’re worth it, Beloveds.

Of course, this is my interpretation—but how could you have not?

 

I imagine you thinking about each of the faces you would rescue;

Every heart that is broken,

Every body that is disconnected from goodness,

Every trauma still being relived—

You came to bring it back to rights.

 

Jesus, as you knew what you faced on that cross,

I’m certain you felt fear—of course you did.  

You were fully God and man;

You asked the father to take this cup from you in that garden.

And yet, you chose the harder way even then.

 

Jesus, you were no stranger to a body that is limited—

One who experienced all that comes with humanity.

But I’m certain you thought of the wholeness your pain would bring us.

You remembered why we needed you.

 

And when you considered how vulnerable, how fragile we all are,

I can’t help but hear you say: “You are dust, my loves—but you’re valuable dust.”

And from this dust, you bring back life again and again and again.

 

Then the morning came,

And you threw off death like the King you are.

You broke the chains that bind us, so that even while we are still being made new

You reminded us the final battle is done.

 

Death was trampled SO that we may truly, completely, fully, and unabashedly live.

And while we are still being made new,

You have promised that you never,

No, never, leave us.

 

We needed to know—and still do—

There will be a time that you will set it all to rest.

Jesus, you are the truest, best,

Surest Savior we could ever have.

Easter—Changes Everything.

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Previous Post: « 3 Steps for Handling Unwanted Conversations {Guest Post for Propel Sophia}
Next Post: A Love Letter to Fear »
Some of you may know from my writing and speaking Some of you may know from my writing and speaking that in addition to being a trauma therapist, I am a long-term survivor of Narcissistic abuse and Complex PTSD. Today, I felt moved to share this reflection from a few years ago that I’ve adapted a bit as I’ve continued in my own work (and I’ll be sharing more layers of my story & the complexity involved with it in my upcoming book.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️‍🔥)
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But for now: if this is part of your story too, I honor that in the same way the wounding is complicated, so, too, can the healing be. There is no shame there. The repair must match the rupture.❤️‍🩹 And yet, even if healing is complicated—you are so worthy of it. Sending love. #cptsd #narcissticabuse #trysofter #stronglikewater #grief
Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve learned to leave yourself to survive—the return can be terrifying and yet deeply satisfying all at the same time. May you experience repair in every way you need. 
// As always take what you need.
#Beloved #TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #fawning
Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been h Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been here. Sometimes my body & spirit tell me it’s time to take a longer break, and though I care deeply about this work—practicing what I preach matters to me even more. I’m not quite ready to enter back in more regularly, but until then, I thought I’d leave a few things I’ve been chewing on. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear. 🌿 (As always, take what you need)
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And may you, in the way and the pace you’re able—have access to the rest you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborASyourself #cptsd
Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶 Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶🏻#PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborasyourself
Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Oliver), helps capture truth in a way psychology struggles to fully articulate. The reality of what it feels like to thaw the pain we hold can be difficult to put words to, but this from Mary has been so meaningful to me:
🌿
“We shake with joy,
we shake with grief.
What a time they have, these two
housed as they are in the same body.”
-Mary Oliver, We Shake With Joy
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Sending love.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #traumaresolution #cptsd
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