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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

January 20, 2015 ·

One Word…

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Listen, I know I’m late to the party. I get that it’s almost February and I am just now talking about my “one word,” but I figure, better late than never. So here is my one word for 2015…

Notice.

Now if “notice” doesn’t strike you as particularly powerful, that’s okay. I’m not offended.

But please allow me to give you some back story. First, I think that culturally we have become frantic and harried people; the pressure of the next thing, the next appointment, or the next social commitment can be taxing.  We live in a culture of busy, overstimulated folks. At any given time we may be dealing with at least 2-3 technological devices in addition to normal distractions. This absolutely influences me personally, and I’m convinced anyone else who is in anyway connected with our culture. 

So how exactly does that affect me personally? Well, I’m tired of missing half of everything. I’m tired of missing things that bring me life because I’m too distracted to notice. 

Now to be fair to myself, I will say that at times I do okay at noticing my moments. 

However, it doesn’t take a whole lot to be back in the swirl of crazy. So I am choosing to make this a theme for my year, because frankly I don’t think I can be too good at this.


“…it is a reminder for me to take a breath”


But the second and really the main reason why “notice” matters for me, is that it is a reminder for me to take a breath and actually be present and take part in my surroundings. 

I chose it because this intentional action is at the beginning of the chain of events that DO allow me to be present. Just saying, “okay, now I want to be present,” is a lot like telling someone that a picture of a good meal is the same as having it in front of you. Yes, the picture’s what we’re aiming for, but how do we get it physically in front of us? We have to buy the food, prep the ingredients, and actually cook the meal. Then we can enjoy what we’ve created. No picture will give you the satisfaction that the real thing will give you.

Similarly, we may know that we want to be present in our lives, but without the vital ingredient of noticing the moments, it will be hard to reach that goal.

So you see, my word is my nudge. It is the thing that I pray God will use to allow me to see what already exists but I often miss.

Because this is what I want…

To notice the color of the sky. 

To notice my daughter’s long eye lashes. 

To notice that in this particular moment, I can be with and handle the reality of whatever exists because I am not trying to deal with the past or the future. Even more, in the difficult moments I begin to notice God’s grace even where it feels there is none.  


How about you? 

Maybe this won’t be your “theme word,” but how’s it going with actually being IN your life? Are you able to really appreciate the moments? 

If not, why? 

 

 

 

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Previous Post: « Where the eyes go…
Next Post: Acquainted With Grief »
May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
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*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
Take What You Need // However this weekend finds y Take What You Need // However this weekend finds you, I hope you feel loved. 🫶🏻 #MothersDay #TrySofter #Cptsd #infertility #beloved
Learning to believe your own experience is a vital Learning to believe your own experience is a vital part of healing from relational trauma, especially experiences like narcissistic abuse. For survivors, it’s often been safer to discount your internal world than it is to believe yourself. And this makes sense, because we were wired for connection. But connection was never meant to be a weapon and it’s only when we start to be grounded in reality that we can untangle love or friendship from harm. 
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As we begin to have to have capacity to honor the truth of our experience, we develop the inner trust to live more and more in alignment. May it be so.
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If it feels like a resource, this practice is for you. #takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #cptsd
Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, greetings to you Maycemeber); but I have found myself full up. I have been full with a whole bunch of goodness; good work, but also intensity. Projects and commitments that require a me that is grounded, resourced, & clear. It’s often in those times that I especially remember we are invited to do the gentle & fierce work of keeping our eyes out for goodness. Even the smallest bits matter. What a paradox; its goodness & beauty & connection that help fuel us to meet the difficult demands of being a human. And particularly as a trauma survivor, I am reminded that I, that each of us, get to participate in our own repair. What sacred work. 
🌿
If it feels like a resource, I’ll leave you with this:
🌿
May mercy and goodness ground you in your body, your relationships, and in your place. Made the co-regulating love of the God of the universe be in, above, and around you. May it lead you Home again + again.
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Thank you to @benrector for a fabulous concert. Grateful for my writing pal @ashlee_eiland & her amazing staff at Living Stones for being a wonderful & attentive audience today. Big love & gratitude to a husband (@bckolber) + kiddos who light up with joy alongside me, and thank you to @stewartdantec for sharing the fabulous James Baldwin quote.
Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving p Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving pain. Coming to honor the truth of our experience is not an indication of our weakness but a move toward deeper integration.🕯️
Sending love. #trysofter #fawn #beloved #stronglikewater #cptsd
Good morning 🌿 Take what you need.🙏 . Inhale: My Good morning 🌿 
Take what you need.🙏
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Inhale: My work is not to prove myself
Exhale: It’s to be myself 
#beloved #trysofter #compassionateattention #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻 #trysofter #lovenotest For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻
#trysofter #lovenotestomynervoussystem #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #takewhatyouneed
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