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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

January 20, 2015 ·

One Word…

Uncategorized

Listen, I know I’m late to the party. I get that it’s almost February and I am just now talking about my “one word,” but I figure, better late than never. So here is my one word for 2015…

Notice.

Now if “notice” doesn’t strike you as particularly powerful, that’s okay. I’m not offended.

But please allow me to give you some back story. First, I think that culturally we have become frantic and harried people; the pressure of the next thing, the next appointment, or the next social commitment can be taxing.  We live in a culture of busy, overstimulated folks. At any given time we may be dealing with at least 2-3 technological devices in addition to normal distractions. This absolutely influences me personally, and I’m convinced anyone else who is in anyway connected with our culture. 

So how exactly does that affect me personally? Well, I’m tired of missing half of everything. I’m tired of missing things that bring me life because I’m too distracted to notice. 

Now to be fair to myself, I will say that at times I do okay at noticing my moments. 

However, it doesn’t take a whole lot to be back in the swirl of crazy. So I am choosing to make this a theme for my year, because frankly I don’t think I can be too good at this.


“…it is a reminder for me to take a breath”


But the second and really the main reason why “notice” matters for me, is that it is a reminder for me to take a breath and actually be present and take part in my surroundings. 

I chose it because this intentional action is at the beginning of the chain of events that DO allow me to be present. Just saying, “okay, now I want to be present,” is a lot like telling someone that a picture of a good meal is the same as having it in front of you. Yes, the picture’s what we’re aiming for, but how do we get it physically in front of us? We have to buy the food, prep the ingredients, and actually cook the meal. Then we can enjoy what we’ve created. No picture will give you the satisfaction that the real thing will give you.

Similarly, we may know that we want to be present in our lives, but without the vital ingredient of noticing the moments, it will be hard to reach that goal.

So you see, my word is my nudge. It is the thing that I pray God will use to allow me to see what already exists but I often miss.

Because this is what I want…

To notice the color of the sky. 

To notice my daughter’s long eye lashes. 

To notice that in this particular moment, I can be with and handle the reality of whatever exists because I am not trying to deal with the past or the future. Even more, in the difficult moments I begin to notice God’s grace even where it feels there is none.  


How about you? 

Maybe this won’t be your “theme word,” but how’s it going with actually being IN your life? Are you able to really appreciate the moments? 

If not, why? 

 

 

 

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Previous Post: « Where the eyes go…
Next Post: Acquainted With Grief »
May you reclaim your voice. May you find your ‘no May you reclaim your voice. 
May you find your ‘no.’
May your healing come🕯️
#trysofter #stronglikewater #narcissisticabuseawarenessday #cptsd #beloved 
.
We are so worthy of the return. #Beloved ✨🫶🏻 . . N We are so worthy of the return. #Beloved ✨🫶🏻
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Needing more resources & insight? Check out my best selling books, including “Try Softer” which is $3.99 via Amazon kindle, Kobo, Google books, and all e-reader platforms right now (links in profile + stories)🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #loveyourneighborASYourself
Embodying A Mantra of Self Compassion // Take What Embodying A Mantra of Self Compassion //
Take What You Need 🌿
.
.
#trysofter #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #cptsd #beloved
Love Notes to My Nervous System (Take what you nee Love Notes to My Nervous System
(Take what you need 🌿)
.
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*I’ve seen this quote going around but couldn’t track down the original author. If you know, please share—I’d love to credit them.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #narcissisticabuse #cptsd
Like many of you who’ve generously shared your sto Like many of you who’ve generously shared your story with me through the years, I’ve walked this brutal path of living through a life-altering smear campaign, too.
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So if it feels like a resource, this is for you:❤️‍🩹
A Lament for a Smear Campaign 
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(And other types of narcissistic abuse)
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For the ways we have been slandered for telling the truth, 
.
We grieve. 
.
For the ways that reality has been contorted so we can no longer recognize it, 
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We cry out. 
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For the ways relationships were weaponized as part of the harm, 
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We lament. 
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For the ways those causing harm are celebrated, 
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We dissent. 
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For the bodies that were made to carry shame they do not own, 
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We honor. 
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For the ways you meet us in the valley of the shadow, O God—
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We remember. 
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Selah.
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#HealAnyway #PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor #TrySofter #cptsd #narcissticabuse
I’ve been in a writing cave finishing edits for my I’ve been in a writing cave finishing edits for my latest manuscript (IYKYN)—and as I work on a particularly vulnerable and painful story, I am holding these words from the inimitable Henri Nouwen like a prayer: 
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“When our wounds cease to be a source of shame and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.” 
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May it be so. #trysofter #healanyway #stronglikewater #cptsd #woundedhealers
May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
.
*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
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