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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

January 20, 2015 ·

One Word…

Uncategorized

Listen, I know I’m late to the party. I get that it’s almost February and I am just now talking about my “one word,” but I figure, better late than never. So here is my one word for 2015…

Notice.

Now if “notice” doesn’t strike you as particularly powerful, that’s okay. I’m not offended.

But please allow me to give you some back story. First, I think that culturally we have become frantic and harried people; the pressure of the next thing, the next appointment, or the next social commitment can be taxing.  We live in a culture of busy, overstimulated folks. At any given time we may be dealing with at least 2-3 technological devices in addition to normal distractions. This absolutely influences me personally, and I’m convinced anyone else who is in anyway connected with our culture. 

So how exactly does that affect me personally? Well, I’m tired of missing half of everything. I’m tired of missing things that bring me life because I’m too distracted to notice. 

Now to be fair to myself, I will say that at times I do okay at noticing my moments. 

However, it doesn’t take a whole lot to be back in the swirl of crazy. So I am choosing to make this a theme for my year, because frankly I don’t think I can be too good at this.


“…it is a reminder for me to take a breath”


But the second and really the main reason why “notice” matters for me, is that it is a reminder for me to take a breath and actually be present and take part in my surroundings. 

I chose it because this intentional action is at the beginning of the chain of events that DO allow me to be present. Just saying, “okay, now I want to be present,” is a lot like telling someone that a picture of a good meal is the same as having it in front of you. Yes, the picture’s what we’re aiming for, but how do we get it physically in front of us? We have to buy the food, prep the ingredients, and actually cook the meal. Then we can enjoy what we’ve created. No picture will give you the satisfaction that the real thing will give you.

Similarly, we may know that we want to be present in our lives, but without the vital ingredient of noticing the moments, it will be hard to reach that goal.

So you see, my word is my nudge. It is the thing that I pray God will use to allow me to see what already exists but I often miss.

Because this is what I want…

To notice the color of the sky. 

To notice my daughter’s long eye lashes. 

To notice that in this particular moment, I can be with and handle the reality of whatever exists because I am not trying to deal with the past or the future. Even more, in the difficult moments I begin to notice God’s grace even where it feels there is none.  


How about you? 

Maybe this won’t be your “theme word,” but how’s it going with actually being IN your life? Are you able to really appreciate the moments? 

If not, why? 

 

 

 

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Previous Post: « Where the eyes go…
Next Post: Acquainted With Grief »
Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Oliver), helps capture truth in a way psychology struggles to fully articulate. The reality of what it feels like to thaw the pain we hold can be difficult to put words to, but this from Mary has been so meaningful to me:
🌿
“We shake with joy,
we shake with grief.
What a time they have, these two
housed as they are in the same body.”
-Mary Oliver, We Shake With Joy
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Sending love.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #traumaresolution #cptsd
Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profoun Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profound gratitude for our love and the life, God helping us, we’ve created. Sometimes, against all odds. 
🌿
But here we are, still choosing each other; choosing us. The goodness of God in the land of the living.
🌿
Thank you for all the ways you’ve helped me find home again, B. Happy anniversary, my love. @bckolber
#trysofter #stronglikewater
Not me geeking out because my words are on @insigh Not me geeking out because my words are on @insighttimer today (just kidding, I’m totally geeking out 🙃🥹)
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Fun fact, Insight Timer has been a huge resource in my personal work toward self-compassion and mindfulness, particularly practices with Sarah Blondin.
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Thanks @stephpoe1 & @hkoxhandler for making sure I didn’t miss it ✨🫶🏻✨
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And thanks @insighttimer for the shout out.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #insighttimer #cptsd #trauma
In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it co In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it cost you to know what you know.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹
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May your healing come.🌿
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#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #traumaresolution #cptsd
Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and I might add, that it’s not only in churches, but in non-profits, families, parachurch ministries, goverments, NGO’s, the publishing industry, and any systems where we don’t consciously and actively make it safe for survivors to speak up. 
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As Dr. Jennifer Freyd notes regarding institutional courage: “We must cherish the whistleblowers.” Indeed. 
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And to the survivors: I honor you. I’m sorry you’ve had to be so strong. ❤️‍🩹
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May you be surprised by the mystery of healing. 🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #healanyway #traumaresolution
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