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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

October 19, 2015 ·

How to Find a Great Counselor {On Learning to Ask for Help}

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I met my dear friend Ashley, at a writer’s conference this summer. She shared bits of her story with me and I realized the beauty of her heart and voice. I am honored to be guest posting over at her place, The Adoption Cafe. 


Most of us, if we’re honest, don’t like asking for help.

We don’t like looking weak, or tired, or less than.

We tend to believe that IF we can be self reliant enough, or prayerful enough, or smart enough (or whatever enough), we’ll get through it.

This can be true in both secular and Christian culture. I find it to be ironic that it’s true in Christian culture however, because we are promised the “Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18, NIV). If ever there is an invitation to be vulnerable in our weakness, this is it.

There is something important and valuable about weakness though, isn’t there? We don’t need to run from it, because in fact, it may be the very place we find healing. Pain is nothing I wish on any person, and yet, I believe there can be redeeming value there.

Read more at The Adoption Cafe…

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Previous Post: « When People Show Up, So Does Love
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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Ashley Scott says

    October 19, 2015 at 7:58 pm

    Thank you for sharing your expertise and writing with me, friend!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      October 21, 2015 at 3:07 pm

      It’s my privilege. Thanks for having me.

May you reclaim your voice. May you find your ‘no May you reclaim your voice. 
May you find your ‘no.’
May your healing come🕯️
#trysofter #stronglikewater #narcissisticabuseawarenessday #cptsd #beloved 
.
We are so worthy of the return. #Beloved ✨🫶🏻 . . N We are so worthy of the return. #Beloved ✨🫶🏻
.
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Needing more resources & insight? Check out my best selling books, including “Try Softer” which is $3.99 via Amazon kindle, Kobo, Google books, and all e-reader platforms right now (links in profile + stories)🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #loveyourneighborASYourself
Embodying A Mantra of Self Compassion // Take What Embodying A Mantra of Self Compassion //
Take What You Need 🌿
.
.
#trysofter #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #cptsd #beloved
Love Notes to My Nervous System (Take what you nee Love Notes to My Nervous System
(Take what you need 🌿)
.
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*I’ve seen this quote going around but couldn’t track down the original author. If you know, please share—I’d love to credit them.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #narcissisticabuse #cptsd
Like many of you who’ve generously shared your sto Like many of you who’ve generously shared your story with me through the years, I’ve walked this brutal path of living through a life-altering smear campaign, too.
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So if it feels like a resource, this is for you:❤️‍🩹
A Lament for a Smear Campaign 
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(And other types of narcissistic abuse)
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For the ways we have been slandered for telling the truth, 
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We grieve. 
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For the ways that reality has been contorted so we can no longer recognize it, 
.
We cry out. 
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For the ways relationships were weaponized as part of the harm, 
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We lament. 
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For the ways those causing harm are celebrated, 
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We dissent. 
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For the bodies that were made to carry shame they do not own, 
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We honor. 
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For the ways you meet us in the valley of the shadow, O God—
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We remember. 
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Selah.
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#HealAnyway #PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor #TrySofter #cptsd #narcissticabuse
I’ve been in a writing cave finishing edits for my I’ve been in a writing cave finishing edits for my latest manuscript (IYKYN)—and as I work on a particularly vulnerable and painful story, I am holding these words from the inimitable Henri Nouwen like a prayer: 
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“When our wounds cease to be a source of shame and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.” 
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May it be so. #trysofter #healanyway #stronglikewater #cptsd #woundedhealers
May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
.
*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
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