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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

October 27, 2015 ·

On New Hobbies {And Loving Sarah Bessey}

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Apparently, I have a new hobby.

Nope, it’s not ribbon twirling.

And unfortunately, it’s not underwater basket weaving.

You guessed it, launch teams (Actually, you probably didn’t. Thanks for trying.)

About a month ago, I had the pleasant surprise of finding out I made the launch team for Sarah Bessey’s new book, “Out of Sorts.” But before I start feeling extremely special, it’s important to add that everyone who applied was accepted for her team.

Did this dampen my excitement? Not a bit.

This is the way Sarah is, so generous. Both in the way she set up our team but also in her writing. I sincerely love her open handedness with all things.

“Out of Sorts” officially releases on November 3rd and may I just say: if you have ever, in any capacity, engaged doubt in your faith walk, this book is for you.

If you have ever felt sure of something, and then realized it’s more complex than you realized, this book is for you.

If you have ever had to unpack the grief of hopes you once had because people fail or disappoint, yep, it’s for you, too.

While I’m going to write a more detailed blog next week on what I’ve learned from “Out of Sorts,” here’s what I’ll say now. Sarah masterfully invites each of us to look at the baggage we are carrying regarding our stories and our faith, and she encourages us to allow God to move through them.

I find this refreshing.

Not everyone is comfortable saying, “Yes, do ask questions.” Or, “Yes, do grieve your pains and your losses and your stories.”

If there is anything I’ve learned about pain and our stories, it’s that we must engage them. We must live inside our stories and process them, in order for us to find acceptance and ultimately healing.  

While we can never do any of this all at once, I think this is why it matters for us to hear the tales of others who have done similar work.

In a way, I hope and pray each of us have our own “out of sorts” moments in our lives. I have always found folks who are willing to lean into their pain are able to bring a special connection to folks around them.

I hope you’ll join me this next week as I write on an important reflection Sarah posed to each of us on the team. It’s simple but profound, and it goes like this: I used to think ______________, and now I think _________________.

I can’t wait to dive into this one, in a way it’s the very essence of our growth.

And as Sarah says, “If our theology doesn’t shift and change over our lifetimes, then I have to wonder if we’re paying attention.” 

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Previous Post: « How to Find a Great Counselor {On Learning to Ask for Help}
Next Post: His Goodness is Overwhelming {An #OutofSortsBook Post} »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sarah Bessey says

    October 28, 2015 at 12:59 pm

    <3

  2. Sarah Bessey says

    October 28, 2015 at 12:59 pm

    Love this, my girl. xo

    • Andrea Kolber says

      October 29, 2015 at 7:03 pm

      Such an honor to be a part of your team!

  3. Jill Richardson says

    October 28, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    That’s funny — I applied and never heard. I must have done something wrong in the submission process. 🙁 I love her work and am looking forward to the book!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      October 29, 2015 at 7:04 pm

      Oh Jill, such a bummer! I bet it was some sort of tech error 🙁 As I’ve gotten to know you I can see how you would love Sarah’s work. You’re going to love this one.

May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
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*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
Take What You Need // However this weekend finds y Take What You Need // However this weekend finds you, I hope you feel loved. 🫶🏻 #MothersDay #TrySofter #Cptsd #infertility #beloved
Learning to believe your own experience is a vital Learning to believe your own experience is a vital part of healing from relational trauma, especially experiences like narcissistic abuse. For survivors, it’s often been safer to discount your internal world than it is to believe yourself. And this makes sense, because we were wired for connection. But connection was never meant to be a weapon and it’s only when we start to be grounded in reality that we can untangle love or friendship from harm. 
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As we begin to have to have capacity to honor the truth of our experience, we develop the inner trust to live more and more in alignment. May it be so.
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If it feels like a resource, this practice is for you. #takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #cptsd
Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, greetings to you Maycemeber); but I have found myself full up. I have been full with a whole bunch of goodness; good work, but also intensity. Projects and commitments that require a me that is grounded, resourced, & clear. It’s often in those times that I especially remember we are invited to do the gentle & fierce work of keeping our eyes out for goodness. Even the smallest bits matter. What a paradox; its goodness & beauty & connection that help fuel us to meet the difficult demands of being a human. And particularly as a trauma survivor, I am reminded that I, that each of us, get to participate in our own repair. What sacred work. 
🌿
If it feels like a resource, I’ll leave you with this:
🌿
May mercy and goodness ground you in your body, your relationships, and in your place. Made the co-regulating love of the God of the universe be in, above, and around you. May it lead you Home again + again.
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Thank you to @benrector for a fabulous concert. Grateful for my writing pal @ashlee_eiland & her amazing staff at Living Stones for being a wonderful & attentive audience today. Big love & gratitude to a husband (@bckolber) + kiddos who light up with joy alongside me, and thank you to @stewartdantec for sharing the fabulous James Baldwin quote.
Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving p Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving pain. Coming to honor the truth of our experience is not an indication of our weakness but a move toward deeper integration.🕯️
Sending love. #trysofter #fawn #beloved #stronglikewater #cptsd
Good morning 🌿 Take what you need.🙏 . Inhale: My Good morning 🌿 
Take what you need.🙏
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Inhale: My work is not to prove myself
Exhale: It’s to be myself 
#beloved #trysofter #compassionateattention #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻 #trysofter #lovenotest For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻
#trysofter #lovenotestomynervoussystem #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #takewhatyouneed
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