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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

October 27, 2015 ·

On New Hobbies {And Loving Sarah Bessey}

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Apparently, I have a new hobby.

Nope, it’s not ribbon twirling.

And unfortunately, it’s not underwater basket weaving.

You guessed it, launch teams (Actually, you probably didn’t. Thanks for trying.)

About a month ago, I had the pleasant surprise of finding out I made the launch team for Sarah Bessey’s new book, “Out of Sorts.” But before I start feeling extremely special, it’s important to add that everyone who applied was accepted for her team.

Did this dampen my excitement? Not a bit.

This is the way Sarah is, so generous. Both in the way she set up our team but also in her writing. I sincerely love her open handedness with all things.

“Out of Sorts” officially releases on November 3rd and may I just say: if you have ever, in any capacity, engaged doubt in your faith walk, this book is for you.

If you have ever felt sure of something, and then realized it’s more complex than you realized, this book is for you.

If you have ever had to unpack the grief of hopes you once had because people fail or disappoint, yep, it’s for you, too.

While I’m going to write a more detailed blog next week on what I’ve learned from “Out of Sorts,” here’s what I’ll say now. Sarah masterfully invites each of us to look at the baggage we are carrying regarding our stories and our faith, and she encourages us to allow God to move through them.

I find this refreshing.

Not everyone is comfortable saying, “Yes, do ask questions.” Or, “Yes, do grieve your pains and your losses and your stories.”

If there is anything I’ve learned about pain and our stories, it’s that we must engage them. We must live inside our stories and process them, in order for us to find acceptance and ultimately healing.  

While we can never do any of this all at once, I think this is why it matters for us to hear the tales of others who have done similar work.

In a way, I hope and pray each of us have our own “out of sorts” moments in our lives. I have always found folks who are willing to lean into their pain are able to bring a special connection to folks around them.

I hope you’ll join me this next week as I write on an important reflection Sarah posed to each of us on the team. It’s simple but profound, and it goes like this: I used to think ______________, and now I think _________________.

I can’t wait to dive into this one, in a way it’s the very essence of our growth.

And as Sarah says, “If our theology doesn’t shift and change over our lifetimes, then I have to wonder if we’re paying attention.” 

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Previous Post: « How to Find a Great Counselor {On Learning to Ask for Help}
Next Post: His Goodness is Overwhelming {An #OutofSortsBook Post} »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sarah Bessey says

    October 28, 2015 at 12:59 pm

    <3

  2. Sarah Bessey says

    October 28, 2015 at 12:59 pm

    Love this, my girl. xo

    • Andrea Kolber says

      October 29, 2015 at 7:03 pm

      Such an honor to be a part of your team!

  3. Jill Richardson says

    October 28, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    That’s funny — I applied and never heard. I must have done something wrong in the submission process. 🙁 I love her work and am looking forward to the book!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      October 29, 2015 at 7:04 pm

      Oh Jill, such a bummer! I bet it was some sort of tech error 🙁 As I’ve gotten to know you I can see how you would love Sarah’s work. You’re going to love this one.

It’s really hard to experience God as safe when yo It’s really hard to experience God as safe when you’re taught theology that defends abusers and abandons the abused.
🌿
May there be a repair for every untruth that has facilitated your harm.
🌿
May your healing come. 🙏
(As always take what you need). #StayWithYourself 
#TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #religioustrauma survivor-centered trauma-informed
Being able to name our experience is so helpful & Being able to name our experience is so helpful & important, but with the fawn response—it can start to feel suffocating to know about what we’re experiencing and feel like we can’t change it. 
.
And yet, we can learn to work “with” our fawn response; living from our Center instead of survival. #staywithyourself #trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd
If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what y If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what you need to stay with yourself.🕯️#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #LoveyourneighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
.
Fawn, fawn response, cPTSD, healing, nervous system, religious trauma, attachment trauma, alignment, faith and mental health
A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat o A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat on the release of his newest offering, “Who You’re Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age.” This is a phenomenally timely book, written by someone who works to embody what he writes. I was honored to endorse it. Here’s what I said:
.
“In the midst of our unmoored, image obsessed culture, Dr. Chuck DeGroat offers us the grounding wisdom we so often forget: God is with us as we become ourselves. With kindness and deft insight, DeGroat leads us through the practical, courageous, and often slow work required to cultivate maturity and true character. In so doing, Who You’re Becoming serves as a powerful and needed guide for anyone wanting to go beyond a try-hard faith or mere surface level change—so they can deepen into their truest, beloved selves.”
Aundi Kolber MA, LPC
Therapist & Author of Try Softer and Strong like Water
.
Congrats, Chuck! You can find “Who You’re Becoming” wherever books are sold (link in stories or check out an excerpt on my substack today—also in stories 🎉)
#WhoYoureBecoming
There can be so much valid grief that comes from l There can be so much valid grief that comes from losing relationships while you heal.*
🍁 
But if you have to choose between keeping a relationship & keeping you—l hope you choose you.
🍁
God does not abandon you, & you don’t have to abandon yourself either. Selah. 
(As always, take what you need 🕯️)
#StayWithYourself #Fawning #TrySofter #Cptsd #narcissticabuse 
🍁
Need more resources & insight? You can pre-order my newest offering, “Stay With Yourself,” that addresses exactly these issues (link in profile).
🍁
*For example, from setting healthy boundaries, advocating for yourself, or being unwilling to participate in toxic dynamics.
.
 Boundaries | embodied boundaries | interpersonal trauma | relationships | self compassion | integrating faith and mental health
Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emo Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emotions around injustice or harm一but rather so we can access the clarity to live in alignment even amidst intensity.
🌿 
And so may you find Ground that holds you steady.
#StayWithYourself #StronglikeWater #TrySofter #regulation #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨ #StayWithYourself #Try May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #HealAnyway #TakeWhatYouNee
.

Fawn | trauma | trauma resolution | cPTSD | religious trauma | nervous system | attachment trauma | complex trauma | grief | faith and mental health | self compassion | compassionate attention
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