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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

October 27, 2015 ·

On New Hobbies {And Loving Sarah Bessey}

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Apparently, I have a new hobby.

Nope, it’s not ribbon twirling.

And unfortunately, it’s not underwater basket weaving.

You guessed it, launch teams (Actually, you probably didn’t. Thanks for trying.)

About a month ago, I had the pleasant surprise of finding out I made the launch team for Sarah Bessey’s new book, “Out of Sorts.” But before I start feeling extremely special, it’s important to add that everyone who applied was accepted for her team.

Did this dampen my excitement? Not a bit.

This is the way Sarah is, so generous. Both in the way she set up our team but also in her writing. I sincerely love her open handedness with all things.

“Out of Sorts” officially releases on November 3rd and may I just say: if you have ever, in any capacity, engaged doubt in your faith walk, this book is for you.

If you have ever felt sure of something, and then realized it’s more complex than you realized, this book is for you.

If you have ever had to unpack the grief of hopes you once had because people fail or disappoint, yep, it’s for you, too.

While I’m going to write a more detailed blog next week on what I’ve learned from “Out of Sorts,” here’s what I’ll say now. Sarah masterfully invites each of us to look at the baggage we are carrying regarding our stories and our faith, and she encourages us to allow God to move through them.

I find this refreshing.

Not everyone is comfortable saying, “Yes, do ask questions.” Or, “Yes, do grieve your pains and your losses and your stories.”

If there is anything I’ve learned about pain and our stories, it’s that we must engage them. We must live inside our stories and process them, in order for us to find acceptance and ultimately healing.  

While we can never do any of this all at once, I think this is why it matters for us to hear the tales of others who have done similar work.

In a way, I hope and pray each of us have our own “out of sorts” moments in our lives. I have always found folks who are willing to lean into their pain are able to bring a special connection to folks around them.

I hope you’ll join me this next week as I write on an important reflection Sarah posed to each of us on the team. It’s simple but profound, and it goes like this: I used to think ______________, and now I think _________________.

I can’t wait to dive into this one, in a way it’s the very essence of our growth.

And as Sarah says, “If our theology doesn’t shift and change over our lifetimes, then I have to wonder if we’re paying attention.” 

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Previous Post: « How to Find a Great Counselor {On Learning to Ask for Help}
Next Post: His Goodness is Overwhelming {An #OutofSortsBook Post} »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sarah Bessey says

    October 28, 2015 at 12:59 pm

    <3

  2. Sarah Bessey says

    October 28, 2015 at 12:59 pm

    Love this, my girl. xo

    • Andrea Kolber says

      October 29, 2015 at 7:03 pm

      Such an honor to be a part of your team!

  3. Jill Richardson says

    October 28, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    That’s funny — I applied and never heard. I must have done something wrong in the submission process. 🙁 I love her work and am looking forward to the book!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      October 29, 2015 at 7:04 pm

      Oh Jill, such a bummer! I bet it was some sort of tech error 🙁 As I’ve gotten to know you I can see how you would love Sarah’s work. You’re going to love this one.

Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
.
As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Oliver), helps capture truth in a way psychology struggles to fully articulate. The reality of what it feels like to thaw the pain we hold can be difficult to put words to, but this from Mary has been so meaningful to me:
🌿
“We shake with joy,
we shake with grief.
What a time they have, these two
housed as they are in the same body.”
-Mary Oliver, We Shake With Joy
.
Sending love.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #traumaresolution #cptsd
Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profoun Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profound gratitude for our love and the life, God helping us, we’ve created. Sometimes, against all odds. 
🌿
But here we are, still choosing each other; choosing us. The goodness of God in the land of the living.
🌿
Thank you for all the ways you’ve helped me find home again, B. Happy anniversary, my love. @bckolber
#trysofter #stronglikewater
Not me geeking out because my words are on @insigh Not me geeking out because my words are on @insighttimer today (just kidding, I’m totally geeking out 🙃🥹)
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Fun fact, Insight Timer has been a huge resource in my personal work toward self-compassion and mindfulness, particularly practices with Sarah Blondin.
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Thanks @stephpoe1 & @hkoxhandler for making sure I didn’t miss it ✨🫶🏻✨
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And thanks @insighttimer for the shout out.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #insighttimer #cptsd #trauma
In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it co In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it cost you to know what you know.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹
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May your healing come.🌿
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#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #traumaresolution #cptsd
Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and I might add, that it’s not only in churches, but in non-profits, families, parachurch ministries, goverments, NGO’s, the publishing industry, and any systems where we don’t consciously and actively make it safe for survivors to speak up. 
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As Dr. Jennifer Freyd notes regarding institutional courage: “We must cherish the whistleblowers.” Indeed. 
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And to the survivors: I honor you. I’m sorry you’ve had to be so strong. ❤️‍🩹
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May you be surprised by the mystery of healing. 🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #healanyway #traumaresolution
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