• About Me
  • Videos
    • Try Softer Guided Journey Videos
    • Strong Like Water Guided Journey Videos
  • Books
    • Try Softer
    • The Try Softer Guided Journey
    • Strong like Water
    • Strong Like Water: Guided Journey
    • Take What You Need
  • Work with Me
  • Speaking & Consulting
  • Podcasts
  • Contact
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • RSS
    • Twitter
Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

November 4, 2015 ·

His Goodness is Overwhelming {An #OutofSortsBook Post}

Uncategorized

Have you ever wondered if you’re the only one?

The only one trying to find peace in the midst of questions that won’t quit?

Or maybe, you’re the only one talking about the questions?

Sarah Bessey’s book, “Out of Sorts: Making Peace with an Evolving Faith,” has been on my mind for a while now for exactly these reasons. Her book is a balm to souls that wrestle.

Maybe they’ve wrestled with stories about who God is, who they are, or who the church is.

Maybe they’ve wrestled with the wounds of abuse at the hands of folks who claim Jesus as their leader.

And maybe, they’re just like the rest of us, sojourners on a path that is beautiful and rewarding but not always comfortable.

***

This leads me to the question I’ve been asking myself for a while now. How has my own thinking changed? Where has my ‘own out of sorts’ moments brought me?

So here it is: I used to think God’s holiness meant he was unkind and angry, and now I think his goodness is overwhelming.

I used to think he waited for me to make a mistake, hoping I would, so he could teach me a lesson. I wondered, at least a little, if he celebrated my pain. I used to think he was blameless and righteous, but now I see, I didn’t think he was good.

As a recovering perfectionist this view of God allowed my system of fear to continue. Because as a faith based perfectionist, what better motivation to be perfect than a fear of an angry heavenly father who was ready to pounce on my mistakes?

You better believe this kept me in line, of course it did. But in those seasons I couldn’t connect with the parts of God I needed most.

I needed his goodness.

I needed to know that He was faithful not just because he was holy or righteous but because he was good.

In my work as a counselor, coming to the conclusion that God is good, is the single greatest contributor to my work. Because if God is not good, I don’t know why I do what I do.

If his common grace is not an attribute to his character, I have no more motivation to love people well.

If I don’t believe that his posture to those in pain, in fact, to myself in pain, is gentle and kind, then I don’t know what to tell the folks about their pain.

But.

Now I know.

I know he is good and kind and benevolent. Not for any other reason than because this is part of his character. His self desired goodness.

I remember when I first began to get this about God’s character. While in seminary, I finally had the time to chew on this aching question in my soul. How and when does God show up in pain? Why does he allow pain? Is he happy about my pain?

In those times, I began to search out and learn the character of God, even while walking through extraordinarily difficult events in my own life with the support of a community who wanted to know God well.

My mentor gave me a book about the attributes of God by A.W. Tozer and this is what he says about God’s goodness:

“Divine goodness, as one of God’s attributes, is self-caused, infinite, perfect, and eternal. Since God is immutable He never varies in the intensity of His loving-kindness. He has never been kinder than He now is, nor will He ever be less kind. He is no respecter of persons but makes His sun to shine on the evil as well as the good, and sends His rain on the just and on the unjust. The cause of His goodness is in Himself; the recipients of His goodness are all His beneficiaries without merit and without recompense” (Tozer, 83).

It seems everything changed for me, when I believed, when I really knew, that God is good.

No, all the stories and the baggage and the pain didn’t just disappear. But my experience of God in the pain changed. Now I could see he was with me and always had been. Now I saw as the tears fell, his heart broke.

Now I see that he was not at all like I thought he was.

He’s better. 

Share this:

  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
Previous Post: « On New Hobbies {And Loving Sarah Bessey}
Next Post: What to Do When Pinterest Says, “You’re Not Enough” »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sarah Bessey says

    November 26, 2015 at 9:07 pm

    Amen and amen! Yes! Loved this!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      November 27, 2015 at 3:21 pm

      Thank you, Sarah! Your book and this blog theme were a gift to me– I am grateful for the opportunity to lean into my evolving faith.

  2. Lauren Flake says

    November 27, 2015 at 12:47 am

    Beautiful. Love and so identified with this, Aundi: "Because as a faith based perfectionist, what better motivation to be perfect than a fear of an angry heavenly father who was ready to pounce on my mistakes?"

    • Andrea Kolber says

      November 27, 2015 at 3:21 pm

      Thank you, sweet friend. What a gift when we begin to see he is not at all like this angry father. Thanks for reading.

  3. Katherine Fischer says

    November 27, 2015 at 4:53 am

    Amen, sister! I think so many of us can relate to this journey of discovery into God’s goodness. Thanks for this!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      November 27, 2015 at 3:22 pm

      Yes! I find we can’t go a lot deeper with him until we know, at least a little, that he is good. Thanks for your kind words.

  4. Loretta Tschetter says

    November 27, 2015 at 8:09 pm

    Love. I still wrestle understanding his holiness and righteousness in light of, and as part of, his GOODNESS, not as something somehow opposed as if he is holy but sometimes manages to muster up enough goodness to be gracious to us.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      November 28, 2015 at 4:40 pm

      Well said, Loretta. It’s true that one of the most challenging pieces is seeing God in his fullness. Both as completely holy and completely good. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to learn about it, even while still wrestling with how it can be true. Thanks for stopping by!

For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻 #trysofter #lovenotest For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻
#trysofter #lovenotestomynervoussystem #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #takewhatyouneed
For many years now, I’ve loved @dr.thema’s words t For many years now, I’ve loved @dr.thema’s words that remind us that when people get us; when we are seen—it matters. It can change our lives. For me, the most potent parts of @ccfwgr, feel like that. It was a full time, with so many brilliant, creative, and empathic folks in one place. In many ways it was a reparative space for parts of the shadow side of our industry, and I’m grateful for that and to have attended.
.
I certainly didn’t get nearly enough pictures with everyone I connected with (and I’m sorry for that!), but I’m wildly grateful for the time and space. Thank you @calvinuniversity and @ccfwgr 🫶🏻
Every time we show up for ourselves in the present Every time we show up for ourselves in the present, we’re also offering a bit of healing to our younger selves, too. May it be so.❤️‍🩹🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #healanyway #takewhatyouneed #cptsd
Today in the Christian tradition is Good Friday & Today in the Christian tradition is Good Friday & for trauma survivors in particular, I think of what it means that our God knows what it’s like to exist in a body; an abused body at that.
🌿
Jesus could have come in so many ways, but he chose to show us how deeply we are loved by joining us in our humanity.
🌿
I’m grateful to @marikoclark for sharing these words a few years ago from theologian James Cone—they’ve lived in my heal anyway folder & I return to them often: 
“There can be no Christian theology that is not identified unreservedly with those who are humiliated and abused. In fact, theology ceases to be a theology of the gospel when it fails to arise out of the community of the oppressed.”
-James Cone
🌿
Amen. 
🌿
Our God, with us. 
Much love this Easter season. 
#traumasurvivors #trysofter #cptsd #easter #stronglikewater
For every way trauma has cost you too much, I hono For every way trauma has cost you too much, I honor you. 🙏
🌿
May you find the relational safety you deserve.
May you find your voice in the ways you need.
May your healing come.❤️‍🩹
#trysofter #healanyway #cptsd #beloved #stronglikewater
Just checking in on a few things.✌🏻 As always, tak Just checking in on a few things.✌🏻
As always, take what you need.
.
Do any of these resonate for you? If so, I’d love to hear. ✨
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #compassionateresourcing
Good morning. Take what you need.🫶🏻 #trysofter #st Good morning. Take what you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
#embodiedboundaries #ItsOkayToSetItDown
Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2026 Aundi Kolber · Design by Bethany Ruth

    all fields required

    Would you like to subscribe to Aundi's email updates?
    YesNo