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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

December 3, 2015 ·

An Advent Lament

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Today, I had planned on another topic for this post. But as our nation grieves so much pain and loss, I choose to use my voice to create space to process. Our culture doesn’t always grieve well, we aren’t ever really taught how. But the Bible is so full of examples of authentic lamentations; I believe God is modelling healthy grief for us. Psychologically, we also know that unless and until we process our grief, we easily become stuck there and aren’t able to move forward. Merriam-Webster defines lament in this way, “to express sorrow, regret, or unhappiness about something.” So on this day, I invite you to join me in lament, so that we can move forward. 


O God, rend the heavens and come down!

We grieve here on earth watching people in so much pain. 

How long will we sit in this God?

When, father, will you cause your kingdom to come? 

How long will evil live free? 

How long will we demand an eye for an eye?

How long, Lord? 

We grow weary and tired as we wait for you this advent, Jesus. O that you would use this pain to cause us to lean into you, to be wiser, and to change what you have set about for us to change. Not in our own strength, but in yours.  

God that we would affirm your image in every person. That we would value all life. That we would fight for your kingdom in the best way taught to us, by your love.

O Lord that we would see the way our hate and polarization only causes pain and trauma to grow.

In our weakness, use us. 

Let change happen God, and let it begin with me. 

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May you reclaim your voice. May you find your ‘no May you reclaim your voice. 
May you find your ‘no.’
May your healing come🕯️
#trysofter #stronglikewater #narcissisticabuseawarenessday #cptsd #beloved 
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We are so worthy of the return. #Beloved ✨🫶🏻 . . N We are so worthy of the return. #Beloved ✨🫶🏻
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Needing more resources & insight? Check out my best selling books, including “Try Softer” which is $3.99 via Amazon kindle, Kobo, Google books, and all e-reader platforms right now (links in profile + stories)🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #loveyourneighborASYourself
Embodying A Mantra of Self Compassion // Take What Embodying A Mantra of Self Compassion //
Take What You Need 🌿
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#trysofter #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #cptsd #beloved
Love Notes to My Nervous System (Take what you nee Love Notes to My Nervous System
(Take what you need 🌿)
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*I’ve seen this quote going around but couldn’t track down the original author. If you know, please share—I’d love to credit them.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #narcissisticabuse #cptsd
Like many of you who’ve generously shared your sto Like many of you who’ve generously shared your story with me through the years, I’ve walked this brutal path of living through a life-altering smear campaign, too.
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So if it feels like a resource, this is for you:❤️‍🩹
A Lament for a Smear Campaign 
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(And other types of narcissistic abuse)
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For the ways we have been slandered for telling the truth, 
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We grieve. 
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For the ways that reality has been contorted so we can no longer recognize it, 
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We cry out. 
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For the ways relationships were weaponized as part of the harm, 
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We lament. 
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For the ways those causing harm are celebrated, 
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We dissent. 
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For the bodies that were made to carry shame they do not own, 
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We honor. 
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For the ways you meet us in the valley of the shadow, O God—
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We remember. 
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Selah.
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#HealAnyway #PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor #TrySofter #cptsd #narcissticabuse
I’ve been in a writing cave finishing edits for my I’ve been in a writing cave finishing edits for my latest manuscript (IYKYN)—and as I work on a particularly vulnerable and painful story, I am holding these words from the inimitable Henri Nouwen like a prayer: 
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“When our wounds cease to be a source of shame and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.” 
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May it be so. #trysofter #healanyway #stronglikewater #cptsd #woundedhealers
May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
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*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
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