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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

March 6, 2015 ·

The Necessity of Rest

Uncategorized

I love the idea of rest.

But what is it? Is it tuning out in front of the TV? Is it a massage? Is it prayer?  Is it being with people? Is it being alone? There are a lot of conflicting ideas out there.

I define rest as experiences or actions which cause us to feel renewed and revived; they allow us to return to our life better than when we started.

As I think about this idea, I can see myself wrapped up in a good book, under a warm blanket, feeling that sense of peace as the day stretches out long. Or I see myself at the park with my daughter, totally present and engaged with her as she plays. Or I see myself on a walk talking to God, letting my thoughts and heart flow freely. These pictures are restful for me.

But here’s the truth; rest doesn’t come easy, not for most of us.

And, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why. We live in a culture of “never enough” and scarcity. Not only that, but I think that our human nature leans toward striving. It is counterculture and counter intuitive to believe that we CAN rest.

Because what would happen if we weren’t there to fix something?

What would happen if we weren’t earning our value?

What would happen if we said ‘no’ to something, even good things?

We may have to sit with the idea that we are not God. We do not have the ability to control or fix most things. We do not have unlimited energy or resources. We are finite.

And on this earth, I believe God allowed it to be that way. Our need for rest points to our humanity and that’s okay. It’s in this space that we can actually connect with God, ourselves and ultimately others in the most effective way. We are able to connect because it creates space to see our need; our need for God, our need for rest, and our need for others. It’s only when we see a hollowed out space, and are humble enough to acknowledge it’s reality, that we can do anything with it. Until then, we are blissfully (or not so blissfully, depending on your perspective), unaware.

Choosing to rest is an act of faith and of honor. It is not an accident that God created us this way. His creation and implementation of the Sabbath is and was something that He purposed for us. Genesis 2 speaks to God’s own rest. Not because He needed it, but it appears mainly to model for us the necessity of it. And even when Jesus came to this earth and walked with us as a man, he modeled rest in His actions of creating space in his daily life and on the weekly Sabbath.

So yeah, rest is a big deal. 

One of my favorite quotes about our struggle with rest and control is from Victor Hugo. I love how he put’s it here:

“Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.” 

So breathe. It is not all up to you. You can rest. 

 

I’ve linked up this week over at: Intentionally Pursuing the Heart of God, Simplified Life, Redemption Diaries, 3D Lessons for Life and Suzanne Eller

 

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Comments

  1. Crystal Storms says

    March 6, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    Aundi, I love your definition of rest: "experiences or actions which cause us to feel renewed and revived; they allow us to return to our life better than when we started."

    Thank you for reminding me that my humanity and need for rest points to my need for God. Blessed by your words, my friend, at #IntentionalTuesday.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 6, 2015 at 7:16 pm

      Crystal, grateful for your encouraging words. I love that God made us in such a way that there is no escaping that we need Him. Thanks for hosting the linkup!

Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Oliver), helps capture truth in a way psychology struggles to fully articulate. The reality of what it feels like to thaw the pain we hold can be difficult to put words to, but this from Mary has been so meaningful to me:
🌿
“We shake with joy,
we shake with grief.
What a time they have, these two
housed as they are in the same body.”
-Mary Oliver, We Shake With Joy
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Sending love.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #traumaresolution #cptsd
Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profoun Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profound gratitude for our love and the life, God helping us, we’ve created. Sometimes, against all odds. 
🌿
But here we are, still choosing each other; choosing us. The goodness of God in the land of the living.
🌿
Thank you for all the ways you’ve helped me find home again, B. Happy anniversary, my love. @bckolber
#trysofter #stronglikewater
Not me geeking out because my words are on @insigh Not me geeking out because my words are on @insighttimer today (just kidding, I’m totally geeking out 🙃🥹)
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Fun fact, Insight Timer has been a huge resource in my personal work toward self-compassion and mindfulness, particularly practices with Sarah Blondin.
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Thanks @stephpoe1 & @hkoxhandler for making sure I didn’t miss it ✨🫶🏻✨
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And thanks @insighttimer for the shout out.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #insighttimer #cptsd #trauma
In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it co In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it cost you to know what you know.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹
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May your healing come.🌿
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#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #traumaresolution #cptsd
Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and I might add, that it’s not only in churches, but in non-profits, families, parachurch ministries, goverments, NGO’s, the publishing industry, and any systems where we don’t consciously and actively make it safe for survivors to speak up. 
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As Dr. Jennifer Freyd notes regarding institutional courage: “We must cherish the whistleblowers.” Indeed. 
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And to the survivors: I honor you. I’m sorry you’ve had to be so strong. ❤️‍🩹
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May you be surprised by the mystery of healing. 🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #healanyway #traumaresolution
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