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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

March 6, 2015 ·

The Necessity of Rest

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I love the idea of rest.

But what is it? Is it tuning out in front of the TV? Is it a massage? Is it prayer?  Is it being with people? Is it being alone? There are a lot of conflicting ideas out there.

I define rest as experiences or actions which cause us to feel renewed and revived; they allow us to return to our life better than when we started.

As I think about this idea, I can see myself wrapped up in a good book, under a warm blanket, feeling that sense of peace as the day stretches out long. Or I see myself at the park with my daughter, totally present and engaged with her as she plays. Or I see myself on a walk talking to God, letting my thoughts and heart flow freely. These pictures are restful for me.

But here’s the truth; rest doesn’t come easy, not for most of us.

And, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why. We live in a culture of “never enough” and scarcity. Not only that, but I think that our human nature leans toward striving. It is counterculture and counter intuitive to believe that we CAN rest.

Because what would happen if we weren’t there to fix something?

What would happen if we weren’t earning our value?

What would happen if we said ‘no’ to something, even good things?

We may have to sit with the idea that we are not God. We do not have the ability to control or fix most things. We do not have unlimited energy or resources. We are finite.

And on this earth, I believe God allowed it to be that way. Our need for rest points to our humanity and that’s okay. It’s in this space that we can actually connect with God, ourselves and ultimately others in the most effective way. We are able to connect because it creates space to see our need; our need for God, our need for rest, and our need for others. It’s only when we see a hollowed out space, and are humble enough to acknowledge it’s reality, that we can do anything with it. Until then, we are blissfully (or not so blissfully, depending on your perspective), unaware.

Choosing to rest is an act of faith and of honor. It is not an accident that God created us this way. His creation and implementation of the Sabbath is and was something that He purposed for us. Genesis 2 speaks to God’s own rest. Not because He needed it, but it appears mainly to model for us the necessity of it. And even when Jesus came to this earth and walked with us as a man, he modeled rest in His actions of creating space in his daily life and on the weekly Sabbath.

So yeah, rest is a big deal. 

One of my favorite quotes about our struggle with rest and control is from Victor Hugo. I love how he put’s it here:

“Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.” 

So breathe. It is not all up to you. You can rest. 

 

I’ve linked up this week over at: Intentionally Pursuing the Heart of God, Simplified Life, Redemption Diaries, 3D Lessons for Life and Suzanne Eller

 

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Comments

  1. Crystal Storms says

    March 6, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    Aundi, I love your definition of rest: "experiences or actions which cause us to feel renewed and revived; they allow us to return to our life better than when we started."

    Thank you for reminding me that my humanity and need for rest points to my need for God. Blessed by your words, my friend, at #IntentionalTuesday.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 6, 2015 at 7:16 pm

      Crystal, grateful for your encouraging words. I love that God made us in such a way that there is no escaping that we need Him. Thanks for hosting the linkup!

It’s really hard to experience God as safe when yo It’s really hard to experience God as safe when you’re taught theology that defends abusers and abandons the abused.
🌿
May there be a repair for every untruth that has facilitated your harm.
🌿
May your healing come. 🙏
(As always take what you need). #StayWithYourself 
#TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #religioustrauma survivor-centered trauma-informed
Being able to name our experience is so helpful & Being able to name our experience is so helpful & important, but with the fawn response—it can start to feel suffocating to know about what we’re experiencing and feel like we can’t change it. 
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And yet, we can learn to work “with” our fawn response; living from our Center instead of survival. #staywithyourself #trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd
If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what y If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what you need to stay with yourself.🕯️#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #LoveyourneighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
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Fawn, fawn response, cPTSD, healing, nervous system, religious trauma, attachment trauma, alignment, faith and mental health
A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat o A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat on the release of his newest offering, “Who You’re Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age.” This is a phenomenally timely book, written by someone who works to embody what he writes. I was honored to endorse it. Here’s what I said:
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“In the midst of our unmoored, image obsessed culture, Dr. Chuck DeGroat offers us the grounding wisdom we so often forget: God is with us as we become ourselves. With kindness and deft insight, DeGroat leads us through the practical, courageous, and often slow work required to cultivate maturity and true character. In so doing, Who You’re Becoming serves as a powerful and needed guide for anyone wanting to go beyond a try-hard faith or mere surface level change—so they can deepen into their truest, beloved selves.”
Aundi Kolber MA, LPC
Therapist & Author of Try Softer and Strong like Water
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Congrats, Chuck! You can find “Who You’re Becoming” wherever books are sold (link in stories or check out an excerpt on my substack today—also in stories 🎉)
#WhoYoureBecoming
There can be so much valid grief that comes from l There can be so much valid grief that comes from losing relationships while you heal.*
🍁 
But if you have to choose between keeping a relationship & keeping you—l hope you choose you.
🍁
God does not abandon you, & you don’t have to abandon yourself either. Selah. 
(As always, take what you need 🕯️)
#StayWithYourself #Fawning #TrySofter #Cptsd #narcissticabuse 
🍁
Need more resources & insight? You can pre-order my newest offering, “Stay With Yourself,” that addresses exactly these issues (link in profile).
🍁
*For example, from setting healthy boundaries, advocating for yourself, or being unwilling to participate in toxic dynamics.
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 Boundaries | embodied boundaries | interpersonal trauma | relationships | self compassion | integrating faith and mental health
Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emo Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emotions around injustice or harm一but rather so we can access the clarity to live in alignment even amidst intensity.
🌿 
And so may you find Ground that holds you steady.
#StayWithYourself #StronglikeWater #TrySofter #regulation #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨ #StayWithYourself #Try May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #HealAnyway #TakeWhatYouNee
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Fawn | trauma | trauma resolution | cPTSD | religious trauma | nervous system | attachment trauma | complex trauma | grief | faith and mental health | self compassion | compassionate attention
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