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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

April 10, 2015 ·

Imperfect But Enough

Uncategorized

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” John 12:24

After four years of marriage, I thought I was finally ready to be a mom. For some reason, we thought it would happen quickly. And so every month I waited to see if this would be the one; maybe I would get pregnant. After nine cycles of disappointment, which felt like an eternity at the time, we decided to see a specialist. The doctors saw some concerns and we did tests.

And we waited.

And then we decided that our whole life was hinging on the “what if” of every month, and so we booked a vacation. The day before we were to leave, I saw what I had been waiting to see for 12 months, a positive pregnancy test.

Finally, it felt like life could begin. Now, we had something.

It was the tiniest of miracles, so very early and fragile. We left on a ship to Mexico the next day, and I took what must have been 20 tests. Honestly, I couldn’t believe that it was happening and I kept thinking it would disappear if I didn’t check.

Thankfully, my pregnancy continued and I gave birth to a beautiful and passionate little girl. And then in a way, a new part of me was born too.

I’m a bit of a planner and a recovering perfectionist, so I “knew” that it was going to be difficult; I made sure to study.  We read books and went to some classes and those were all well and good. But then, after a series of nights that were high on anxiety and no sleep, my daughter came into this world with so much to voice but no words to use.

I am so honored to be writing over at Circling the Story, click here to keep reading…

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Previous Post: « When They Nailed Him to the Tree
Next Post: Fan the Flame »
It’s really hard to experience God as safe when yo It’s really hard to experience God as safe when you’re taught theology that defends abusers and abandons the abused.
🌿
May there be a repair for every untruth that has facilitated your harm.
🌿
May your healing come. 🙏
(As always take what you need). #StayWithYourself 
#TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #religioustrauma survivor-centered trauma-informed
Being able to name our experience is so helpful & Being able to name our experience is so helpful & important, but with the fawn response—it can start to feel suffocating to know about what we’re experiencing and feel like we can’t change it. 
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And yet, we can learn to work “with” our fawn response; living from our Center instead of survival. #staywithyourself #trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd
If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what y If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what you need to stay with yourself.🕯️#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #LoveyourneighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
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Fawn, fawn response, cPTSD, healing, nervous system, religious trauma, attachment trauma, alignment, faith and mental health
A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat o A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat on the release of his newest offering, “Who You’re Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age.” This is a phenomenally timely book, written by someone who works to embody what he writes. I was honored to endorse it. Here’s what I said:
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“In the midst of our unmoored, image obsessed culture, Dr. Chuck DeGroat offers us the grounding wisdom we so often forget: God is with us as we become ourselves. With kindness and deft insight, DeGroat leads us through the practical, courageous, and often slow work required to cultivate maturity and true character. In so doing, Who You’re Becoming serves as a powerful and needed guide for anyone wanting to go beyond a try-hard faith or mere surface level change—so they can deepen into their truest, beloved selves.”
Aundi Kolber MA, LPC
Therapist & Author of Try Softer and Strong like Water
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Congrats, Chuck! You can find “Who You’re Becoming” wherever books are sold (link in stories or check out an excerpt on my substack today—also in stories 🎉)
#WhoYoureBecoming
There can be so much valid grief that comes from l There can be so much valid grief that comes from losing relationships while you heal.*
🍁 
But if you have to choose between keeping a relationship & keeping you—l hope you choose you.
🍁
God does not abandon you, & you don’t have to abandon yourself either. Selah. 
(As always, take what you need 🕯️)
#StayWithYourself #Fawning #TrySofter #Cptsd #narcissticabuse 
🍁
Need more resources & insight? You can pre-order my newest offering, “Stay With Yourself,” that addresses exactly these issues (link in profile).
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*For example, from setting healthy boundaries, advocating for yourself, or being unwilling to participate in toxic dynamics.
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 Boundaries | embodied boundaries | interpersonal trauma | relationships | self compassion | integrating faith and mental health
Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emo Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emotions around injustice or harm一but rather so we can access the clarity to live in alignment even amidst intensity.
🌿 
And so may you find Ground that holds you steady.
#StayWithYourself #StronglikeWater #TrySofter #regulation #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨ #StayWithYourself #Try May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #HealAnyway #TakeWhatYouNee
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Fawn | trauma | trauma resolution | cPTSD | religious trauma | nervous system | attachment trauma | complex trauma | grief | faith and mental health | self compassion | compassionate attention
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