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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

June 4, 2015 ·

Moment to Moment

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I stared down at her plump cheeks and her dark lashes and thought, ‘I have so much to do today.’

“But mom, please put on your party dress.”

She handed me the crotchet blanket that would serve as my dress. Not unlike many mornings, my Tiny wanted me to focus on her for a while; she wanted me to enter her world of imagination.

Sometimes I am able to do that really well. I have begun to appreciate that she’s 3, and take advantage of the moments; it will surely change soon. I don’t want to miss them. 

I have found when I acknowledge the value of a moment, there’s grace there. My ‘to do’ list is not gone, but I find God gives me the courage and strength to accomplish important things. 

It causes me to remember a post from awhile back by Micha Boyett called “An Invitation to Choose the Better Thing.” Micha is a lovely writer and she ponders the story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10. Typically, most of us believe we are EITHER a Martha or Mary. Micha wonders if we can actually be both? She invites us to recognize that in every moment we can choose the better thing. (If you haven’t read it, please stop and do so. Seriously.)

Micha summarizes her perspective this way:

“What is the better thing in this moment? That’s the question. Not whether you’re a Mary or a Martha. But whether you’re wise enough to discern the opportunity for peace and joy that is being offered to you— now, right here— in the presence of Jesus. ”

— Micha Boyett

Micha’s post has resonated with me since I read it because I’m not always a Martha or Mary. It’s not that simple. I can be all of those things; both a focused, task oriented doer and and a lover of moments and people. I connect with the Lord and people in both of those spaces. 

In Luke 10:41-42, Jesus says to Martha: ‘ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’

It’s interesting that what Jesus honors about Mary is her recognition in the moment of the better thing. And for that moment, it was to experience God’s presence by relishing Jesus and sitting at his feet. 

This morning, choosing the better thing meant I needed to be present with my daughter. She needed me to put down my tasks and distractions and revel in summer, and imagination and morning snuggles. 

The better thing for me was to notice the patchy sunlight coming through the trees, and taste the earthiness of my coffee. 

I met God in that moment. That’s how I’m certain I chose the better thing.

He gave me peace for that tiny sliver of time. Like the Israelites in the desert who God provided for day by day; God does this for me too. It still inspires awe in me when it happens, a tiny miracle just for me.

But let’s not forget about Martha. Her desire to serve Jesus through hospitality was admirable; sometimes that can be the better thing. Yet, she carried worry and frustration with her. It causes me to wonder if she knew the better thing was actually to stop and sink into the moment, but her sense of obligation and guilt kept her on her path. 

I can be like that too, I have empathy for how Martha came to that place. 

But what if her heart had been different? If she had been setting the table, making the food and prepping the house for Jesus out of an authentic desire; would she have been choosing the better thing?

Possibly, but I am not sure and I don’t want to read that into scripture. 

Yet, it’s a reminder for me that when I serve, I want to do it from authenticity. Because serving is needed, beautiful, and helpful.

What I want you to see here, dear reader, is this isn’t an either/or situation in regards to choosing the better thing. This is a both/and situation, in which we experience God both through sinking into presence and by serving; and the combination can change from moment to moment.

As we stand at the crossroad of moments, I pray that each of us would let go of all the ‘shoulds’ that keep us in unhealthy cycles and instead tap into the only true source of wisdom and peace; that is truly the better thing. 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. Kelly Smith says

    June 5, 2015 at 10:41 am

    I fight obligation, too. Now that the kids are home during the day, it has been hard to switch to mama mode during the school hours. I am trying to remind myself that these summer days of their childhood are short and will be over before I am ready. Thank you for the encouragement today!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      June 6, 2015 at 2:13 pm

      Kelly, thanks so much for stopping in. Yes, obligation can be so difficult and it’s tempting to allow that to rule our choices. I love hearing you remember how short the days truly are. That’s something I’m trying to remind myself daily. Thanks for your encouragement!

These are for you, if you’re feeling the weariness These are for you, if you’re feeling the weariness of these days or the reality of the pain in our world. May Compassion be a fuel that allows us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.💛
🌿
Which of these resonate with you today? As always, take what you need, and set down what doesn’t. 
🌿
Aaaaand, just one month late: Happy 1 year anniversary to “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days.” 🥳 I’m so proud and grateful for this little book. Thank you to each of you who’ve shared about it, left reviews, and reminded me why it’s mattered to you. I’m so honored. If you haven’t already, I’d love for you to check it out (link in stories and profile 🌻) @tyndalehouse 
.
(These affirmations aren’t from the book, but they were inspired by the spirit of it.)
#takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater
In our culture, tenderness is often viewed as a li In our culture, tenderness is often viewed as a liability, even and especially the tenderness we gain from healing. But the paradox is, the softness we gain is actually the source of some of our greatest strength. Selah. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #loveyourneighborasyourself
Healing work is not only about us, but make no mis Healing work is not only about us, but make no mistake — it must include us; it must include the relationship we have with ourselves. 
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At the pace you are able, may your healing come. 
#TrySofter #Stronglikewater #TakeWhatYouNeed #fawning #cptsd
I realize I’m breaking the rules of instagram by p I realize I’m breaking the rules of instagram by posting two selfies in a row, but today is my 43rd birthday so I’m gonna just do the thing. ✌🏻 I’ll say this, it was a hell of a year. I feel proud and grateful, and also, more than a little tired. Waking up to news of wars, widespread sexual abuse cover ups, and the weaponization of a faith I hold dear will do that to anyone paying attention. But also, something I’ve learned as a long term survivor of cPTSD, is how much it matters to hold onto my center; my God-given self. I’ve learned that abuse teaches us to leave ourselves, and we often do, just so we can survive. Which is why it is some of the most sacred work of my life to, by the grace of God, choose to stay instead. 
.
And so that is how I’m entering this year: tenaciously committed to the life + self God has given me, to the people around me, to the work that is a privilege to do. To, as the prophet Micah once wrote, “act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
.
Thanks to each of you who have been here, who have supported my work, who have spoken life into me. I do not take it lightly. Grateful. xx
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
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Pink shirt in 1st photo is from @treetopscollective (check out their important work on behalf of refugees in the Grand Rapids, MI. Also, this isn’t an ad, I just love their work :)
Leaving this here to mark the fact that I just tur Leaving this here to mark the fact that I just turned in my 3rd full length manuscript 😭🕯️. Y’all. i. AM. tIRed.
I cannot wait to share about this book with you in the coming year, but what I can say—is something I used to tell myself when I played a whole lot of basketball: “I’m leaving it all on the floor.” Whew. Happy Friday, my dears. (And now to rest)🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #authorsofinstagram
It’s for you, if you need it.✌🏻#TakeWhatYouNeed # It’s for you, if you need it.✌🏻#TakeWhatYouNeed 
#TrySofter #StronglikeWater #LoveNotesToMyNervousSystem
This is an evergreen message, but it’s perhaps esp This is an evergreen message, but it’s perhaps especially timely as we navigate this cultural moment. Compassion is soft, but it doesn’t fold. 🌿
#BelieveSurvivors #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
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