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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

July 2, 2015 ·

Will You Take the Leap?

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My brain is fried in the best possible way. I’ve got days of learning and tips and good information all piled in there like a library that needs a book sale. Writing isn’t for the faint of heart. 

I gaze at people networking and connecting all around in our cozy conference space and I notice the slight discomfort in my chest. 

Then dazed, I realize the moment might pass for me to connect too. If I don’t act now, it might be gone.

If I don’t march up to Jonathan Merritt with my heart beating out of my chest and start talking to him, because my opportunity is here, I won’t get another.

***

Sometimes you have to leap, you have to try. That’s the sensation I felt when I attended “Writer’s Boot Camp,” and interacted with some amazing people.

Now is the moment.

The first day I looked around and realized these cadets aren’t here on accident. They didn’t sign up for this conference and think, ‘Hey, that sounds better than a spa weekend.”  

I realized they were like me; frenzied lives, mounds on their plate. But they couldn’t ignore that the craft of writing matters, and it’s calling to them, so they’re here. They hope to spin their dreams into the web of reality. 

***

Folks looked like business and ready to work. Those writers were hungry. They wanted to learn and the electricity in the room was tangible. 

That was them, but can I tell the truth here?

I walked into the room and felt my knees shake and my voice catch. Sure was glad I wore deodorant, because I needed it. 

But still, I was there. 

Presented with an opportunity to learn, to grow something that I care about deeply, writing.

So I took it.

I didn’t just take it, I jumped into the ice cold water of it and swam around. I looked my fear in the eye and said ‘That’s all you got?” 

I reached out when I felt uncomfortable but soon made connections. I asked questions when I wondered if it was stupid. I walked up to Margaret Feinberg and Jonathan Merritt and knew that I was enough, even though I was intimidated as an elf is to Santa Claus. 

Reader, I am so grateful that I chose to show up. I am so thankful that I chose to lean into my story and not pretend it doesn’t matter. Writing does matter, talking to my audience matters. Living a brave story matters. Empowering others to live courageously matters. 

It’s interesting how some lessons are like an onion. You can peel away three or four layers and guess what? There are more waiting. I think bravery and perfectionism are like that. You begin to think you’re enough, and then find yourself in a situation where you feel infinitely not enough.

What do you do with that? Do you allow that to be your truth? Do you allow the narrative of scarcity to write your story?

I wonder, what would it take for you to stare your fear in the face? What would allow you to own your story and then take the leap anyway? 

Maybe today’s the day to find out. 

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Previous Post: « Becoming Un-Stuck
Next Post: Why I Won’t Fix You {Even When You Make Me Uncomfortable} Pt. 1 »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Robin Lee says

    July 2, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    I LOVE your graphic. I am so excited for you and so happy to have connected with a group of FTL people who want to learn, grow and get better! Please count me in with those you write about who "hope to spin their dreams into the web of reality." WELL SAID!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      July 3, 2015 at 1:42 am

      Robin, thank you so much! I will absolutely count you as one who is honing the craft and I sure love our FTL community. Thanks for your support.

  2. Andrea Stunz says

    July 2, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    Love this!! Good job on going first! I’m so jealous you and Terri got to hang out. In Colorado, no less! Ahhh…. we’ll meet someday. Until then, keep inspiring. Keep writing. Keep giving the gift of second.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      July 3, 2015 at 1:42 am

      Andrea, thank you so much. I love your heart and it encourages me to see being brave with your story. Thanks for your encouragement!

  3. Scott Kedersha says

    July 2, 2015 at 9:56 pm

    Well said, Aundi! I am tracking with you 100%. Your site looks great – great images. Well done! Best wishes to you, Lieutenant!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      July 3, 2015 at 1:43 am

      Thanks so much Scott! I am excited to check out your work and stay in contact. Your encouragement means a ton.

  4. Kelly Smith says

    July 3, 2015 at 1:42 am

    You have me all pumped and excited for She Speaks! I am nervous and I know I will want to hide in the corner when I get there. Thanks for speaking up. I need to come back and read this before I travel to NC! #FTL

    • Andrea Kolber says

      July 3, 2015 at 2:09 am

      So glad you’re feeling inspired. It is such a unique opportunity to be in a place where so many things can happen. I’m really glad you’ll get that chance and I’ll look forward to hearing about it. Thanks for stopping by!

These are for you, if you’re feeling the weariness These are for you, if you’re feeling the weariness of these days or the reality of the pain in our world. May Compassion be a fuel that allows us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.💛
🌿
Which of these resonate with you today? As always, take what you need, and set down what doesn’t. 
🌿
Aaaaand, just one month late: Happy 1 year anniversary to “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days.” 🥳 I’m so proud and grateful for this little book. Thank you to each of you who’ve shared about it, left reviews, and reminded me why it’s mattered to you. I’m so honored. If you haven’t already, I’d love for you to check it out (link in stories and profile 🌻) @tyndalehouse 
.
(These affirmations aren’t from the book, but they were inspired by the spirit of it.)
#takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater
In our culture, tenderness is often viewed as a li In our culture, tenderness is often viewed as a liability, even and especially the tenderness we gain from healing. But the paradox is, the softness we gain is actually the source of some of our greatest strength. Selah. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #loveyourneighborasyourself
Healing work is not only about us, but make no mis Healing work is not only about us, but make no mistake — it must include us; it must include the relationship we have with ourselves. 
.
At the pace you are able, may your healing come. 
#TrySofter #Stronglikewater #TakeWhatYouNeed #fawning #cptsd
I realize I’m breaking the rules of instagram by p I realize I’m breaking the rules of instagram by posting two selfies in a row, but today is my 43rd birthday so I’m gonna just do the thing. ✌🏻 I’ll say this, it was a hell of a year. I feel proud and grateful, and also, more than a little tired. Waking up to news of wars, widespread sexual abuse cover ups, and the weaponization of a faith I hold dear will do that to anyone paying attention. But also, something I’ve learned as a long term survivor of cPTSD, is how much it matters to hold onto my center; my God-given self. I’ve learned that abuse teaches us to leave ourselves, and we often do, just so we can survive. Which is why it is some of the most sacred work of my life to, by the grace of God, choose to stay instead. 
.
And so that is how I’m entering this year: tenaciously committed to the life + self God has given me, to the people around me, to the work that is a privilege to do. To, as the prophet Micah once wrote, “act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
.
Thanks to each of you who have been here, who have supported my work, who have spoken life into me. I do not take it lightly. Grateful. xx
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
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Pink shirt in 1st photo is from @treetopscollective (check out their important work on behalf of refugees in the Grand Rapids, MI. Also, this isn’t an ad, I just love their work :)
Leaving this here to mark the fact that I just tur Leaving this here to mark the fact that I just turned in my 3rd full length manuscript 😭🕯️. Y’all. i. AM. tIRed.
I cannot wait to share about this book with you in the coming year, but what I can say—is something I used to tell myself when I played a whole lot of basketball: “I’m leaving it all on the floor.” Whew. Happy Friday, my dears. (And now to rest)🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #authorsofinstagram
It’s for you, if you need it.✌🏻#TakeWhatYouNeed # It’s for you, if you need it.✌🏻#TakeWhatYouNeed 
#TrySofter #StronglikeWater #LoveNotesToMyNervousSystem
This is an evergreen message, but it’s perhaps esp This is an evergreen message, but it’s perhaps especially timely as we navigate this cultural moment. Compassion is soft, but it doesn’t fold. 🌿
#BelieveSurvivors #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
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