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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

July 2, 2015 ·

Will You Take the Leap?

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My brain is fried in the best possible way. I’ve got days of learning and tips and good information all piled in there like a library that needs a book sale. Writing isn’t for the faint of heart. 

I gaze at people networking and connecting all around in our cozy conference space and I notice the slight discomfort in my chest. 

Then dazed, I realize the moment might pass for me to connect too. If I don’t act now, it might be gone.

If I don’t march up to Jonathan Merritt with my heart beating out of my chest and start talking to him, because my opportunity is here, I won’t get another.

***

Sometimes you have to leap, you have to try. That’s the sensation I felt when I attended “Writer’s Boot Camp,” and interacted with some amazing people.

Now is the moment.

The first day I looked around and realized these cadets aren’t here on accident. They didn’t sign up for this conference and think, ‘Hey, that sounds better than a spa weekend.”  

I realized they were like me; frenzied lives, mounds on their plate. But they couldn’t ignore that the craft of writing matters, and it’s calling to them, so they’re here. They hope to spin their dreams into the web of reality. 

***

Folks looked like business and ready to work. Those writers were hungry. They wanted to learn and the electricity in the room was tangible. 

That was them, but can I tell the truth here?

I walked into the room and felt my knees shake and my voice catch. Sure was glad I wore deodorant, because I needed it. 

But still, I was there. 

Presented with an opportunity to learn, to grow something that I care about deeply, writing.

So I took it.

I didn’t just take it, I jumped into the ice cold water of it and swam around. I looked my fear in the eye and said ‘That’s all you got?” 

I reached out when I felt uncomfortable but soon made connections. I asked questions when I wondered if it was stupid. I walked up to Margaret Feinberg and Jonathan Merritt and knew that I was enough, even though I was intimidated as an elf is to Santa Claus. 

Reader, I am so grateful that I chose to show up. I am so thankful that I chose to lean into my story and not pretend it doesn’t matter. Writing does matter, talking to my audience matters. Living a brave story matters. Empowering others to live courageously matters. 

It’s interesting how some lessons are like an onion. You can peel away three or four layers and guess what? There are more waiting. I think bravery and perfectionism are like that. You begin to think you’re enough, and then find yourself in a situation where you feel infinitely not enough.

What do you do with that? Do you allow that to be your truth? Do you allow the narrative of scarcity to write your story?

I wonder, what would it take for you to stare your fear in the face? What would allow you to own your story and then take the leap anyway? 

Maybe today’s the day to find out. 

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Previous Post: « Becoming Un-Stuck
Next Post: Why I Won’t Fix You {Even When You Make Me Uncomfortable} Pt. 1 »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Robin Lee says

    July 2, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    I LOVE your graphic. I am so excited for you and so happy to have connected with a group of FTL people who want to learn, grow and get better! Please count me in with those you write about who "hope to spin their dreams into the web of reality." WELL SAID!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      July 3, 2015 at 1:42 am

      Robin, thank you so much! I will absolutely count you as one who is honing the craft and I sure love our FTL community. Thanks for your support.

  2. Andrea Stunz says

    July 2, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    Love this!! Good job on going first! I’m so jealous you and Terri got to hang out. In Colorado, no less! Ahhh…. we’ll meet someday. Until then, keep inspiring. Keep writing. Keep giving the gift of second.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      July 3, 2015 at 1:42 am

      Andrea, thank you so much. I love your heart and it encourages me to see being brave with your story. Thanks for your encouragement!

  3. Scott Kedersha says

    July 2, 2015 at 9:56 pm

    Well said, Aundi! I am tracking with you 100%. Your site looks great – great images. Well done! Best wishes to you, Lieutenant!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      July 3, 2015 at 1:43 am

      Thanks so much Scott! I am excited to check out your work and stay in contact. Your encouragement means a ton.

  4. Kelly Smith says

    July 3, 2015 at 1:42 am

    You have me all pumped and excited for She Speaks! I am nervous and I know I will want to hide in the corner when I get there. Thanks for speaking up. I need to come back and read this before I travel to NC! #FTL

    • Andrea Kolber says

      July 3, 2015 at 2:09 am

      So glad you’re feeling inspired. It is such a unique opportunity to be in a place where so many things can happen. I’m really glad you’ll get that chance and I’ll look forward to hearing about it. Thanks for stopping by!

In trauma work, this is called “titration”—and it In trauma work, this is called “titration”—and it can be a vital posture to help pace ourselves when we’re faced with too much (whether from past trauma, current overwhelm or both).
🌿
May you have what you need to take the smallest step in the right direction. 🫶🏻
#trysofter
#stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #nervoussystemwork #regulation
But here, may your shattered pieces be gathered; b But here, may your shattered pieces be gathered; back to yourself & back to your Creator.
🌿
Here, may you know it makes sense to feel what you feel.
🌿
You are & may still be passing through the valley of the shadow, so if all you can do is breathe...
🌿
Then breathe.
.
In honor of World Suicide Prevention Day // 
Supporting trauma survivors is suicide prevention 
❤️‍🩹✌🏻 
#trysofter #cptsd #grief #healing #stronglikewater
.
(Originally written and shared in 2022 🫶🏻)
A few soft & fierce notes for you today. As always A few soft & fierce notes for you today. As always, take what you need.🌿
#trysofter #fierceselfcompassion #stronglikewater #cptsd #loveyourneighborASYourself
Whether it’s in a family, a romantic relationship, Whether it’s in a family, a romantic relationship, a church, a Netflix documentary (#MicaMiller), or a friendship—one of the goals of narcissistic abuse is to destabilize and disorient. 
.
May you have what you need to come home to your God-given center.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #narcissisticabuse #cptsd 
Fawning
Holding these thoughts like a prayer tonight. If i Holding these thoughts like a prayer tonight. If it resonates, it’s for you.🫶🏻 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #healing #trauma
A few soft & fierce reminders for you tonight. As A few soft & fierce reminders for you tonight. As always, take what you need.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikwater #LoveYourNeighborAsYourself #cptsd #fawning 
fierceselfcompassion selfcompassion
Am I an expressive speaker? You better believe it. Am I an expressive speaker? You better believe it. 🙃 
🌿
It was an honor to be with The Abundant Conference this weekend in St. Louis, helping to address and resource folks in the work of integrating faith and mental health; and ultimately, leaning into a paradoxical truth that God invites us toward—“to be soft is to be strong.”
.
(So much gratitude to The Crossing Church, JoyFM, and each of the gifted speakers who shared their heart and talents. ✨🫶🏻)
#TrySofter #StronglikeWater #Beloved #LoveYourNeighborASYourself 
@curtthompsonmd @iamdavidhawkins @991joyfm @bdwmusic @crossingstl 
.
Also, thanks to @emilyachristopher for the first picture.💛
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