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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

September 2, 2015 ·

Setting It Straight {3 Ways to Live Well Now}

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“The thief comes only to kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and life to the full” John 10:10 (NIV) 

Last year, I realized that my schedule was starting to get the best of me. It felt like it was controlling me, rather than it allowing me to live the life I wanted to live. At times, I felt harried and frazzled and really wanted to blame it all on circumstances.

As a recovering perfectionist, it can still be hard for me to admit when something doesn’t feel right. But I have learned that by the grace of God and paying attention, I can usually get to the bottom of what’s going on. And so I allowed myself to stay curious and wonder about what I could change.

It became clear that it wasn’t a simple fix, but rather a series of adjustments that would keep in line with my goals, my family’s needs and my desires to continue as a professional in my field.

And so I began to chew on some options. I took some risks and said no to things I care about, but caused me to feel overwhelmed.

And then little by little, I began to see progress in what my schedule and the layout of my practical life looked like.

Only recently have I begun to see the fruit of changes I made. Initially, the adjustments looked a lot like faith, as I had to cling to the hope of what I wanted to see but wasn’t yet evident in front of my eyes.

My own struggle and story got me thinking about the way we often stay stuck in our patterns of life.

I think sometimes we’re afraid.

Sometimes we’re numb.

Sometimes we don’t even know it can be any different. We don’t even realize that we GET to choose so much of our life. What a gift.

So, if you’re ready to break out of that pattern, here are just a few things to consider for when you’re ready to start living:

 1.    Get Your Priorities Straight: This will be surprising, but you don’t have unlimited capabilities (me either!). God has given us limits, and that’s a good thing, because it point us to him. When we think we can be all things to all people, we either try to be a part of everything or we want to completely check out (because we burn out). It’s easy to go through cycles like this. It creates a frustrating progression where we either feel uninvolved or overwhelmed. So what’s the alternative? One key that allows us to enact strategies like setting boundaries requires us to know our priorities. 

What matters to you? How are you causing that to be a priority in your life? If people looked at your life, how would they know it’s a priority?

2.     Stay Curious: If something is continually causing you stress and anxiety, begin to wonder about it. Could it change? Do you need it?

We can quickly get lulled to sleep by routine and by life. We stop asking if new ideas are possible and begin believing that nothing will ever change. But when we are willing to wonder, to ask the question if it’s a possibility for circumstances to change, we then have a place to start. So what are you wondering about?

3.     Take a risk: Once we’ve begun asking questions, many folks stop there.

 Oh, that’s my next step, well that’s nice. Can you pass the salt?

It’s an entirely different thing to act upon our curiosity and our priorities. This is where we must call on our courage, resources, and faith to bolster us as we do hard things. But if you are already willing to do the work of building awareness of priorities and curiosity, I can bet that it will be worth it for you to risk allowing your life to be different. 

**

How about you? What allows you to live life well? 

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Previous Post: « Hurts So Good {On Learning to Stay With It}
Next Post: When We Learn How to Care {On Treating Ourselves Nicely} »

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Comments

  1. Dave Chung says

    September 2, 2015 at 10:07 pm

    Great post, Aundi!

    I started living life well when I realized that I was the only one holding me back from going after what I wanted. It was a process of figuring out what I didn’t like about what I was doing, deciding what it was that I really wanted, and then realizing that I could actually go after it.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      September 4, 2015 at 6:21 pm

      I love your thoughts, Dave! Yes, ultimately we choose a lot of our path don’t we? Thanks for your encouragement too!

These are for you, if you’re feeling the weariness These are for you, if you’re feeling the weariness of these days or the reality of the pain in our world. May Compassion be a fuel that allows us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.💛
🌿
Which of these resonate with you today? As always, take what you need, and set down what doesn’t. 
🌿
Aaaaand, just one month late: Happy 1 year anniversary to “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days.” 🥳 I’m so proud and grateful for this little book. Thank you to each of you who’ve shared about it, left reviews, and reminded me why it’s mattered to you. I’m so honored. If you haven’t already, I’d love for you to check it out (link in stories and profile 🌻) @tyndalehouse 
.
(These affirmations aren’t from the book, but they were inspired by the spirit of it.)
#takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater
In our culture, tenderness is often viewed as a li In our culture, tenderness is often viewed as a liability, even and especially the tenderness we gain from healing. But the paradox is, the softness we gain is actually the source of some of our greatest strength. Selah. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #loveyourneighborasyourself
Healing work is not only about us, but make no mis Healing work is not only about us, but make no mistake — it must include us; it must include the relationship we have with ourselves. 
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At the pace you are able, may your healing come. 
#TrySofter #Stronglikewater #TakeWhatYouNeed #fawning #cptsd
I realize I’m breaking the rules of instagram by p I realize I’m breaking the rules of instagram by posting two selfies in a row, but today is my 43rd birthday so I’m gonna just do the thing. ✌🏻 I’ll say this, it was a hell of a year. I feel proud and grateful, and also, more than a little tired. Waking up to news of wars, widespread sexual abuse cover ups, and the weaponization of a faith I hold dear will do that to anyone paying attention. But also, something I’ve learned as a long term survivor of cPTSD, is how much it matters to hold onto my center; my God-given self. I’ve learned that abuse teaches us to leave ourselves, and we often do, just so we can survive. Which is why it is some of the most sacred work of my life to, by the grace of God, choose to stay instead. 
.
And so that is how I’m entering this year: tenaciously committed to the life + self God has given me, to the people around me, to the work that is a privilege to do. To, as the prophet Micah once wrote, “act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
.
Thanks to each of you who have been here, who have supported my work, who have spoken life into me. I do not take it lightly. Grateful. xx
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
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Pink shirt in 1st photo is from @treetopscollective (check out their important work on behalf of refugees in the Grand Rapids, MI. Also, this isn’t an ad, I just love their work :)
Leaving this here to mark the fact that I just tur Leaving this here to mark the fact that I just turned in my 3rd full length manuscript 😭🕯️. Y’all. i. AM. tIRed.
I cannot wait to share about this book with you in the coming year, but what I can say—is something I used to tell myself when I played a whole lot of basketball: “I’m leaving it all on the floor.” Whew. Happy Friday, my dears. (And now to rest)🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #authorsofinstagram
It’s for you, if you need it.✌🏻#TakeWhatYouNeed # It’s for you, if you need it.✌🏻#TakeWhatYouNeed 
#TrySofter #StronglikeWater #LoveNotesToMyNervousSystem
This is an evergreen message, but it’s perhaps esp This is an evergreen message, but it’s perhaps especially timely as we navigate this cultural moment. Compassion is soft, but it doesn’t fold. 🌿
#BelieveSurvivors #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
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