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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

November 21, 2016 ·

On Chai Tea and Holy {When Ordinary is Sacred}

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Today I write with a cup of chai tea and the first snow of the season falling. Next to me, a small candle is holding vigil. I went for a walk this morning and it felt holy—sacred even. The air pricked at my nose and I felt a stillness I hadn’t felt for some time. It felt like the moment after a gut-wrenching cry. After the catharsis—when the stillness comes, it was like that. It’s a good reminder. A necessary one, as our world has felt at odds lately.

Yes, some things are still holy.

I, too, have beliefs and opinions about the world and how it’s working. I have strong feelings on a plethora of subjects. And yet, what I’ve been learning (and re-learning) is how quickly we lose the humanity of people near us and with us. I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to use shame as a sword or guilt as a bludgeon. This is my cry these days. Not only for those around me, but for myself. Oh yes, for me too.

**

This idea of sacred is on my mind today. And I wonder how quickly we dismiss sacred? We invalidate that we should have to honor anything or anyone. We chide a person who holds something as valuable. I think this is a great loss, for all of us. 

And so maybe we all need a long slow walk outside to bring us back to the beginning? To remind us how God made us to worship. And when we don’t worship him, we’ll inevitably find something else to worship. Maybe that’s the space we remember even nature itself points to him, and we need a re-set on this idea sometimes.

I hope sometimes we are struck dumb by beauty.

I pray today someone surprises us. 

My wish for all of is to be astounded by ordinary wonder.

Because, dear ones, this is the point. This tiny life is the adventure he’s given us and it is sacred. It’s our framework to know our creator and to love people. It is holy. It is hard too—but first holy. And if we can recognize our connectedness to the one who makes us, we can also honor the connectedness of those around us.

I can’t think of anything more revolutionary in our times but to live life from a place of connectedness to others, ourselves, and our maker. This would be a life worth living, wouldn’t it?

And so, in a tiny act of revolution I drink my tea, I pray my prayers, I lean on my people and I experience my Jesus. This is ordinary and it is sacred.

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Comments

  1. Joe Rodriguez says

    November 22, 2016 at 7:22 pm

    I absolutely love Chai Tea. I drink it at least twice a day. Your post is a timely message to every believer (myself included) who is unconsciously being sidetracked by the political apathy and social injustices that are prevalent in the world today. I think I’ll just go home tonight, make me another cup of Chai and take a stroll. Thank you!

  2. Andrea Kolber says

    November 23, 2016 at 2:42 pm

    I’m honored to encourage you, Joe. Thanks for stopping in to say hello. Happy Thanksgiving!

May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
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*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
Take What You Need // However this weekend finds y Take What You Need // However this weekend finds you, I hope you feel loved. 🫶🏻 #MothersDay #TrySofter #Cptsd #infertility #beloved
Learning to believe your own experience is a vital Learning to believe your own experience is a vital part of healing from relational trauma, especially experiences like narcissistic abuse. For survivors, it’s often been safer to discount your internal world than it is to believe yourself. And this makes sense, because we were wired for connection. But connection was never meant to be a weapon and it’s only when we start to be grounded in reality that we can untangle love or friendship from harm. 
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As we begin to have to have capacity to honor the truth of our experience, we develop the inner trust to live more and more in alignment. May it be so.
.
If it feels like a resource, this practice is for you. #takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #cptsd
Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, greetings to you Maycemeber); but I have found myself full up. I have been full with a whole bunch of goodness; good work, but also intensity. Projects and commitments that require a me that is grounded, resourced, & clear. It’s often in those times that I especially remember we are invited to do the gentle & fierce work of keeping our eyes out for goodness. Even the smallest bits matter. What a paradox; its goodness & beauty & connection that help fuel us to meet the difficult demands of being a human. And particularly as a trauma survivor, I am reminded that I, that each of us, get to participate in our own repair. What sacred work. 
🌿
If it feels like a resource, I’ll leave you with this:
🌿
May mercy and goodness ground you in your body, your relationships, and in your place. Made the co-regulating love of the God of the universe be in, above, and around you. May it lead you Home again + again.
.
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Thank you to @benrector for a fabulous concert. Grateful for my writing pal @ashlee_eiland & her amazing staff at Living Stones for being a wonderful & attentive audience today. Big love & gratitude to a husband (@bckolber) + kiddos who light up with joy alongside me, and thank you to @stewartdantec for sharing the fabulous James Baldwin quote.
Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving p Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving pain. Coming to honor the truth of our experience is not an indication of our weakness but a move toward deeper integration.🕯️
Sending love. #trysofter #fawn #beloved #stronglikewater #cptsd
Good morning 🌿 Take what you need.🙏 . Inhale: My Good morning 🌿 
Take what you need.🙏
.
Inhale: My work is not to prove myself
Exhale: It’s to be myself 
#beloved #trysofter #compassionateattention #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻 #trysofter #lovenotest For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻
#trysofter #lovenotestomynervoussystem #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #takewhatyouneed
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