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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

November 21, 2016 ·

On Chai Tea and Holy {When Ordinary is Sacred}

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Today I write with a cup of chai tea and the first snow of the season falling. Next to me, a small candle is holding vigil. I went for a walk this morning and it felt holy—sacred even. The air pricked at my nose and I felt a stillness I hadn’t felt for some time. It felt like the moment after a gut-wrenching cry. After the catharsis—when the stillness comes, it was like that. It’s a good reminder. A necessary one, as our world has felt at odds lately.

Yes, some things are still holy.

I, too, have beliefs and opinions about the world and how it’s working. I have strong feelings on a plethora of subjects. And yet, what I’ve been learning (and re-learning) is how quickly we lose the humanity of people near us and with us. I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to use shame as a sword or guilt as a bludgeon. This is my cry these days. Not only for those around me, but for myself. Oh yes, for me too.

**

This idea of sacred is on my mind today. And I wonder how quickly we dismiss sacred? We invalidate that we should have to honor anything or anyone. We chide a person who holds something as valuable. I think this is a great loss, for all of us. 

And so maybe we all need a long slow walk outside to bring us back to the beginning? To remind us how God made us to worship. And when we don’t worship him, we’ll inevitably find something else to worship. Maybe that’s the space we remember even nature itself points to him, and we need a re-set on this idea sometimes.

I hope sometimes we are struck dumb by beauty.

I pray today someone surprises us. 

My wish for all of is to be astounded by ordinary wonder.

Because, dear ones, this is the point. This tiny life is the adventure he’s given us and it is sacred. It’s our framework to know our creator and to love people. It is holy. It is hard too—but first holy. And if we can recognize our connectedness to the one who makes us, we can also honor the connectedness of those around us.

I can’t think of anything more revolutionary in our times but to live life from a place of connectedness to others, ourselves, and our maker. This would be a life worth living, wouldn’t it?

And so, in a tiny act of revolution I drink my tea, I pray my prayers, I lean on my people and I experience my Jesus. This is ordinary and it is sacred.

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Comments

  1. Joe Rodriguez says

    November 22, 2016 at 7:22 pm

    I absolutely love Chai Tea. I drink it at least twice a day. Your post is a timely message to every believer (myself included) who is unconsciously being sidetracked by the political apathy and social injustices that are prevalent in the world today. I think I’ll just go home tonight, make me another cup of Chai and take a stroll. Thank you!

  2. Andrea Kolber says

    November 23, 2016 at 2:42 pm

    I’m honored to encourage you, Joe. Thanks for stopping in to say hello. Happy Thanksgiving!

These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨ #TakeWha These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨
#TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #cptsd #Beloved
Some of you may know from my writing and speaking Some of you may know from my writing and speaking that in addition to being a trauma therapist, I am a long-term survivor of Narcissistic abuse and Complex PTSD. Today, I felt moved to share this reflection from a few years ago that I’ve adapted a bit as I’ve continued in my own work (and I’ll be sharing more layers of my story & the complexity involved with it in my upcoming book.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️‍🔥)
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But for now: if this is part of your story too, I honor that in the same way the wounding is complicated, so, too, can the healing be. There is no shame there. The repair must match the rupture.❤️‍🩹 And yet, even if healing is complicated—you are so worthy of it. Sending love. #cptsd #narcissticabuse #trysofter #stronglikewater #grief
Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve learned to leave yourself to survive—the return can be terrifying and yet deeply satisfying all at the same time. May you experience repair in every way you need. 
// As always take what you need.
#Beloved #TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #fawning
Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been h Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been here. Sometimes my body & spirit tell me it’s time to take a longer break, and though I care deeply about this work—practicing what I preach matters to me even more. I’m not quite ready to enter back in more regularly, but until then, I thought I’d leave a few things I’ve been chewing on. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear. 🌿 (As always, take what you need)
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And may you, in the way and the pace you’re able—have access to the rest you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborASyourself #cptsd
Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶 Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶🏻#PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborasyourself
Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
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