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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

November 9, 2016 ·

Finding Gratitude in the Trenches of Mama-hood {Guest Post for {In}Courage}

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Motherhood was a difficult transition for me. As a recovering perfectionist, it seems part of me thought it would come more naturally—that somehow I would just be good at it.

Instead, I found myself struggling—hard. I found I did terribly with little sleep. I was frequently overwhelmed and stressed. It took so much more out of me than I ever thought I had to give. The needs oozing from the tiny fingers of my vivacious daughter were both life giving and life sucking.

After what felt like a battlefield in her first year of life, I finally started to come out of a fog when my daughter was nearly 17 months.

I remember the fall, when the Denver sun still grew toasty but the nights invited candles and sweaters; we began to think about Thanksgiving and travel plans. I had been reading on gratitude from both a faith perspective as well as its significant value from a psychological perspective. As a mental health therapist and a Christian, I’d already believed it to be an effective coping skill and a way to connect to God’s presence. But, when I assessed my reality, I saw I hadn’t been practicing it regularly in my own life for a while. It felt like God was giving me a strong nudge—or maybe a flashing sign—telling me to pay attention. 

I’d be so honored if you’d click here to  join me over at {In}Courage. 


p.s. The folks over at {In}Courage do great work– Sign up here to receive free daily notes from (in)courage, sent right to your inbox!  

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Previous Post: « Kindness in the Muck {On Living as the Beloved}
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Joining the chorus to honor an extraordinary woman Joining the chorus to honor an extraordinary woman. Thank you for your light and life, Dolly. #ripdolly
Happy Friday.✨✌🏻❤️ // Take What You Need #trysoft Happy Friday.✨✌🏻❤️ // Take What You Need 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #trauma #healanyway
It is my delight & honor to celebrate my dear frie It is my delight & honor to celebrate my dear friend, Dr. Alison Cook, as she releases her brand new book, “The Secure Soul: Finding Inner Strength and Connection When Trust Doesn’t Come Easy” (and the companion book too!🎉)
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Dr. Cook, (or Alison, as I’ll call her now ;) is not only someone that I admire & respect professionally, but she has become a trusted real-life friend. Through this last several years, I’ve especially appreciated our kindship as we traverse the rewarding, interesting (and sometimes very complicated) world of being a public facing therapist, author, and speaker. 
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Alison asked if I would be willing to endorse her newest offering, and it was a great privilege to do so, here’s what I said: 
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Written in the impactful tradition of books like “Hinds Feet On High Places,” Dr. Alison Cook offers us a stunning parable about the sacred work of being human—and the God who meets us in the repair. ‘The Secure Soul’ is wildly timely and timeless; a tender, thoughtful, and moving read. This is a fabulous book for anyone engaging the holistic healing God invites us toward.’ 
—Aundi Kolber, MA, LPC
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I truly believe “The Secure Soul” will be a balm to anyone who’s struggled to find safety & repair not only with God, not only with others, but with themselves too. You can read an excerpt on my Substack today (link in stories), or pick up the book anywhere books are sold (I’ll also have a link in stories).
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Congrats, Alison! So grateful for your deep work. 🏔️
#SecureSoul #EarnedSecureAttachment #TrySofter #Attachment #StronglikeWater
A few thoughts on finding your voice after harm & A few thoughts on finding your voice after harm & learning to befriend anger.✌🏻 
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May there come a day when you do not fear the power of your God-given voice. And may every trauma survivor come to know their anger is a profound ally in their healing journey.
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*And yes, all the caveats that our anger never gives us a reason or justification for causing harm. Rather, healthy anger is used as fuel to help us mobilize an appropriate response of advocacy or protection when harm has occurred. #stronglikewater #trysofter #healanyway #cptsd #fawning
I’ve loved this trend so I thought I’d offer a few I’ve loved this trend so I thought I’d offer a few of my own (take what you need💛).
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Edited to add: I'm not sure what that weird line is in my first slide! It should read: "Kinda chic to become the person you needed when you were younger." :)
#trysofter #stronglikewater #fierceselfcompassion #beloved #cptsd
“No matter how beautiful it is.” 🌿 In the way & t “No matter how beautiful it is.” 🌿 
In the way & the pace you are able—may it be so. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #compassionateresourcing #internalizedsafety
Attachment trauma & wounding can have profound imp Attachment trauma & wounding can have profound implications—particularly because of the ways it causes us to feel isolated; like no one could ever be trusted. It’s important to say this is valid—our body often adapts in this way because of real harm we’ve experienced. Yet, as we are able, so much of healing work is about learning to keep our eyes open for repair, even as we honor, grieve, & integrate all we’ve lived through.
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I think that’s why this love note is always so meaningful to me, and if it feels like a resource—I offer it to you too. 🌿#trysofter #beloved #stronglikewater #healanyway #cptsd
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P.s. have you heard this @mumfordandsons song? The lyrics are literally “with my hand over your heart.” Let’s go.✨🫶🏻
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