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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

November 9, 2016 ·

Finding Gratitude in the Trenches of Mama-hood {Guest Post for {In}Courage}

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Motherhood was a difficult transition for me. As a recovering perfectionist, it seems part of me thought it would come more naturally—that somehow I would just be good at it.

Instead, I found myself struggling—hard. I found I did terribly with little sleep. I was frequently overwhelmed and stressed. It took so much more out of me than I ever thought I had to give. The needs oozing from the tiny fingers of my vivacious daughter were both life giving and life sucking.

After what felt like a battlefield in her first year of life, I finally started to come out of a fog when my daughter was nearly 17 months.

I remember the fall, when the Denver sun still grew toasty but the nights invited candles and sweaters; we began to think about Thanksgiving and travel plans. I had been reading on gratitude from both a faith perspective as well as its significant value from a psychological perspective. As a mental health therapist and a Christian, I’d already believed it to be an effective coping skill and a way to connect to God’s presence. But, when I assessed my reality, I saw I hadn’t been practicing it regularly in my own life for a while. It felt like God was giving me a strong nudge—or maybe a flashing sign—telling me to pay attention. 

I’d be so honored if you’d click here to  join me over at {In}Courage. 


p.s. The folks over at {In}Courage do great work– Sign up here to receive free daily notes from (in)courage, sent right to your inbox!  

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Previous Post: « Kindness in the Muck {On Living as the Beloved}
Next Post: A Post Election Prayer for Weary Hearts »
May you reclaim your voice. May you find your ‘no May you reclaim your voice. 
May you find your ‘no.’
May your healing come🕯️
#trysofter #stronglikewater #narcissisticabuseawarenessday #cptsd #beloved 
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We are so worthy of the return. #Beloved ✨🫶🏻 . . N We are so worthy of the return. #Beloved ✨🫶🏻
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Needing more resources & insight? Check out my best selling books, including “Try Softer” which is $3.99 via Amazon kindle, Kobo, Google books, and all e-reader platforms right now (links in profile + stories)🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #loveyourneighborASYourself
Embodying A Mantra of Self Compassion // Take What Embodying A Mantra of Self Compassion //
Take What You Need 🌿
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#trysofter #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #cptsd #beloved
Love Notes to My Nervous System (Take what you nee Love Notes to My Nervous System
(Take what you need 🌿)
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*I’ve seen this quote going around but couldn’t track down the original author. If you know, please share—I’d love to credit them.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #narcissisticabuse #cptsd
Like many of you who’ve generously shared your sto Like many of you who’ve generously shared your story with me through the years, I’ve walked this brutal path of living through a life-altering smear campaign, too.
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So if it feels like a resource, this is for you:❤️‍🩹
A Lament for a Smear Campaign 
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(And other types of narcissistic abuse)
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For the ways we have been slandered for telling the truth, 
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We grieve. 
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For the ways that reality has been contorted so we can no longer recognize it, 
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We cry out. 
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For the ways relationships were weaponized as part of the harm, 
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We lament. 
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For the ways those causing harm are celebrated, 
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We dissent. 
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For the bodies that were made to carry shame they do not own, 
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We honor. 
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For the ways you meet us in the valley of the shadow, O God—
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We remember. 
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Selah.
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#HealAnyway #PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor #TrySofter #cptsd #narcissticabuse
I’ve been in a writing cave finishing edits for my I’ve been in a writing cave finishing edits for my latest manuscript (IYKYN)—and as I work on a particularly vulnerable and painful story, I am holding these words from the inimitable Henri Nouwen like a prayer: 
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“When our wounds cease to be a source of shame and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.” 
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May it be so. #trysofter #healanyway #stronglikewater #cptsd #woundedhealers
May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
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*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
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