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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

March 22, 2016 ·

A Hard Reset {On Learning How to Unplug}

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“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne Lamott

In the last 33 years, I’ve gathered some important information about myself. 

I always prefer half and half in my coffee over non-fat milk. I’ve found I love to travel and write and reading is most certainly my jam. I die over a beautiful sunset and the way the mountains sit black on the horizon while the sky turns sherbet. In my twenties, I discovered I need sleep like a baby needs milk (helpful information).

And one of my recent discoveries is finding I. Am. Not. A. Multitasker.

When I attempt to do everything at once I basically overheat and shut down. Some amazing folks have the capability to switch tasks so quickly you barely notice how they’re juggling. Bless their hearts, but it’s just not me.

So when smoke is coming out of my ears and I can’t see straight, I take to heart Anne Lamott’s words about unplugging for a few minutes. In my family we sometimes call it a sensory break.

Either way you frame it, every once in awhile we all need a hard reset.

We all need to step away from the phone, the computer, the 50 page to-do list and the heaviness of our expectations. We need rest and revitalization and it can’t be a once year or a once in a decade thing.

 Image courtesy of Canva

Image courtesy of Canva

Rest has to become a way of living.  It’s a posture we continually take in our lives in which we ask, am I over extended? Is this too much? How am I restoring my energy? 

This is why I come back to my faith as a foundation. It reminds me abundant life doesn’t come from trying harder, but by leaning into his goodness and breathing in each moment. What I have found is the truest rest I experience is with the creator of rest. Jesus himself.

“Come,” he whispers. “Come to me and I’ll give you a light load.”

Any structure or lifestyle that tells us the only way to live is to strive and push harder has got it wrong. 

The truth is we humans CAN do hard things. But, we’re also fragile. We’re merely dust and to dust we’ll return.

So, we must align ourselves and root ourselves with a framework which reminds us it’s okay to unplug. It’s okay to reassess. It’s okay to need. It’s okay to have those needs met.

Knowing our limits allows us to be gracious with ourselves and push reset before the crisis.

***

What have you learned about your limits? Is there a way you can honor your limits today and unplug?  

 

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Previous Post: « Settling for Safety: When Risk Is Worthwhile
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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Johanna trainer says

    March 23, 2016 at 4:06 pm

    Great read! As an introvert I know I need to unplug and have a few minutes by myself daily. Usually I get that when I drive to pick up my son from school or by walking the dog for 20′. I listen to a podcast and aaaaah, I can breathe. I may need to figure out my limits at work, too! That would be helpful.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 24, 2016 at 2:56 pm

      Great ideas, Johanna. It sounds like you’re on the right track around figuring out what you need. It’s amazing how easy it is to forget these things, isn’t it? Thanks for reading!

May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
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*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
Take What You Need // However this weekend finds y Take What You Need // However this weekend finds you, I hope you feel loved. 🫶🏻 #MothersDay #TrySofter #Cptsd #infertility #beloved
Learning to believe your own experience is a vital Learning to believe your own experience is a vital part of healing from relational trauma, especially experiences like narcissistic abuse. For survivors, it’s often been safer to discount your internal world than it is to believe yourself. And this makes sense, because we were wired for connection. But connection was never meant to be a weapon and it’s only when we start to be grounded in reality that we can untangle love or friendship from harm. 
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As we begin to have to have capacity to honor the truth of our experience, we develop the inner trust to live more and more in alignment. May it be so.
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If it feels like a resource, this practice is for you. #takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #cptsd
Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, greetings to you Maycemeber); but I have found myself full up. I have been full with a whole bunch of goodness; good work, but also intensity. Projects and commitments that require a me that is grounded, resourced, & clear. It’s often in those times that I especially remember we are invited to do the gentle & fierce work of keeping our eyes out for goodness. Even the smallest bits matter. What a paradox; its goodness & beauty & connection that help fuel us to meet the difficult demands of being a human. And particularly as a trauma survivor, I am reminded that I, that each of us, get to participate in our own repair. What sacred work. 
🌿
If it feels like a resource, I’ll leave you with this:
🌿
May mercy and goodness ground you in your body, your relationships, and in your place. Made the co-regulating love of the God of the universe be in, above, and around you. May it lead you Home again + again.
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Thank you to @benrector for a fabulous concert. Grateful for my writing pal @ashlee_eiland & her amazing staff at Living Stones for being a wonderful & attentive audience today. Big love & gratitude to a husband (@bckolber) + kiddos who light up with joy alongside me, and thank you to @stewartdantec for sharing the fabulous James Baldwin quote.
Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving p Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving pain. Coming to honor the truth of our experience is not an indication of our weakness but a move toward deeper integration.🕯️
Sending love. #trysofter #fawn #beloved #stronglikewater #cptsd
Good morning 🌿 Take what you need.🙏 . Inhale: My Good morning 🌿 
Take what you need.🙏
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Inhale: My work is not to prove myself
Exhale: It’s to be myself 
#beloved #trysofter #compassionateattention #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻 #trysofter #lovenotest For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻
#trysofter #lovenotestomynervoussystem #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #takewhatyouneed
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