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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

March 22, 2016 ·

A Hard Reset {On Learning How to Unplug}

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“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne Lamott

In the last 33 years, I’ve gathered some important information about myself. 

I always prefer half and half in my coffee over non-fat milk. I’ve found I love to travel and write and reading is most certainly my jam. I die over a beautiful sunset and the way the mountains sit black on the horizon while the sky turns sherbet. In my twenties, I discovered I need sleep like a baby needs milk (helpful information).

And one of my recent discoveries is finding I. Am. Not. A. Multitasker.

When I attempt to do everything at once I basically overheat and shut down. Some amazing folks have the capability to switch tasks so quickly you barely notice how they’re juggling. Bless their hearts, but it’s just not me.

So when smoke is coming out of my ears and I can’t see straight, I take to heart Anne Lamott’s words about unplugging for a few minutes. In my family we sometimes call it a sensory break.

Either way you frame it, every once in awhile we all need a hard reset.

We all need to step away from the phone, the computer, the 50 page to-do list and the heaviness of our expectations. We need rest and revitalization and it can’t be a once year or a once in a decade thing.

 Image courtesy of Canva

Image courtesy of Canva

Rest has to become a way of living.  It’s a posture we continually take in our lives in which we ask, am I over extended? Is this too much? How am I restoring my energy? 

This is why I come back to my faith as a foundation. It reminds me abundant life doesn’t come from trying harder, but by leaning into his goodness and breathing in each moment. What I have found is the truest rest I experience is with the creator of rest. Jesus himself.

“Come,” he whispers. “Come to me and I’ll give you a light load.”

Any structure or lifestyle that tells us the only way to live is to strive and push harder has got it wrong. 

The truth is we humans CAN do hard things. But, we’re also fragile. We’re merely dust and to dust we’ll return.

So, we must align ourselves and root ourselves with a framework which reminds us it’s okay to unplug. It’s okay to reassess. It’s okay to need. It’s okay to have those needs met.

Knowing our limits allows us to be gracious with ourselves and push reset before the crisis.

***

What have you learned about your limits? Is there a way you can honor your limits today and unplug?  

 

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Previous Post: « Settling for Safety: When Risk Is Worthwhile
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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Johanna trainer says

    March 23, 2016 at 4:06 pm

    Great read! As an introvert I know I need to unplug and have a few minutes by myself daily. Usually I get that when I drive to pick up my son from school or by walking the dog for 20′. I listen to a podcast and aaaaah, I can breathe. I may need to figure out my limits at work, too! That would be helpful.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 24, 2016 at 2:56 pm

      Great ideas, Johanna. It sounds like you’re on the right track around figuring out what you need. It’s amazing how easy it is to forget these things, isn’t it? Thanks for reading!

These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨ #TakeWha These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨
#TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #cptsd #Beloved
Some of you may know from my writing and speaking Some of you may know from my writing and speaking that in addition to being a trauma therapist, I am a long-term survivor of Narcissistic abuse and Complex PTSD. Today, I felt moved to share this reflection from a few years ago that I’ve adapted a bit as I’ve continued in my own work (and I’ll be sharing more layers of my story & the complexity involved with it in my upcoming book.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️‍🔥)
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But for now: if this is part of your story too, I honor that in the same way the wounding is complicated, so, too, can the healing be. There is no shame there. The repair must match the rupture.❤️‍🩹 And yet, even if healing is complicated—you are so worthy of it. Sending love. #cptsd #narcissticabuse #trysofter #stronglikewater #grief
Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve learned to leave yourself to survive—the return can be terrifying and yet deeply satisfying all at the same time. May you experience repair in every way you need. 
// As always take what you need.
#Beloved #TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #fawning
Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been h Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been here. Sometimes my body & spirit tell me it’s time to take a longer break, and though I care deeply about this work—practicing what I preach matters to me even more. I’m not quite ready to enter back in more regularly, but until then, I thought I’d leave a few things I’ve been chewing on. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear. 🌿 (As always, take what you need)
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And may you, in the way and the pace you’re able—have access to the rest you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborASyourself #cptsd
Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶 Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶🏻#PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborasyourself
Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
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