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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

March 22, 2016 ·

A Hard Reset {On Learning How to Unplug}

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“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne Lamott

In the last 33 years, I’ve gathered some important information about myself. 

I always prefer half and half in my coffee over non-fat milk. I’ve found I love to travel and write and reading is most certainly my jam. I die over a beautiful sunset and the way the mountains sit black on the horizon while the sky turns sherbet. In my twenties, I discovered I need sleep like a baby needs milk (helpful information).

And one of my recent discoveries is finding I. Am. Not. A. Multitasker.

When I attempt to do everything at once I basically overheat and shut down. Some amazing folks have the capability to switch tasks so quickly you barely notice how they’re juggling. Bless their hearts, but it’s just not me.

So when smoke is coming out of my ears and I can’t see straight, I take to heart Anne Lamott’s words about unplugging for a few minutes. In my family we sometimes call it a sensory break.

Either way you frame it, every once in awhile we all need a hard reset.

We all need to step away from the phone, the computer, the 50 page to-do list and the heaviness of our expectations. We need rest and revitalization and it can’t be a once year or a once in a decade thing.

 Image courtesy of Canva

Image courtesy of Canva

Rest has to become a way of living.  It’s a posture we continually take in our lives in which we ask, am I over extended? Is this too much? How am I restoring my energy? 

This is why I come back to my faith as a foundation. It reminds me abundant life doesn’t come from trying harder, but by leaning into his goodness and breathing in each moment. What I have found is the truest rest I experience is with the creator of rest. Jesus himself.

“Come,” he whispers. “Come to me and I’ll give you a light load.”

Any structure or lifestyle that tells us the only way to live is to strive and push harder has got it wrong. 

The truth is we humans CAN do hard things. But, we’re also fragile. We’re merely dust and to dust we’ll return.

So, we must align ourselves and root ourselves with a framework which reminds us it’s okay to unplug. It’s okay to reassess. It’s okay to need. It’s okay to have those needs met.

Knowing our limits allows us to be gracious with ourselves and push reset before the crisis.

***

What have you learned about your limits? Is there a way you can honor your limits today and unplug?  

 

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Previous Post: « Settling for Safety: When Risk Is Worthwhile
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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Johanna trainer says

    March 23, 2016 at 4:06 pm

    Great read! As an introvert I know I need to unplug and have a few minutes by myself daily. Usually I get that when I drive to pick up my son from school or by walking the dog for 20′. I listen to a podcast and aaaaah, I can breathe. I may need to figure out my limits at work, too! That would be helpful.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 24, 2016 at 2:56 pm

      Great ideas, Johanna. It sounds like you’re on the right track around figuring out what you need. It’s amazing how easy it is to forget these things, isn’t it? Thanks for reading!

May you reclaim your voice. May you find your ‘no May you reclaim your voice. 
May you find your ‘no.’
May your healing come🕯️
#trysofter #stronglikewater #narcissisticabuseawarenessday #cptsd #beloved 
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We are so worthy of the return. #Beloved ✨🫶🏻 . . N We are so worthy of the return. #Beloved ✨🫶🏻
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Needing more resources & insight? Check out my best selling books, including “Try Softer” which is $3.99 via Amazon kindle, Kobo, Google books, and all e-reader platforms right now (links in profile + stories)🌿
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Embodying A Mantra of Self Compassion // Take What Embodying A Mantra of Self Compassion //
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#trysofter #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #cptsd #beloved
Love Notes to My Nervous System (Take what you nee Love Notes to My Nervous System
(Take what you need 🌿)
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*I’ve seen this quote going around but couldn’t track down the original author. If you know, please share—I’d love to credit them.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #narcissisticabuse #cptsd
Like many of you who’ve generously shared your sto Like many of you who’ve generously shared your story with me through the years, I’ve walked this brutal path of living through a life-altering smear campaign, too.
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So if it feels like a resource, this is for you:❤️‍🩹
A Lament for a Smear Campaign 
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(And other types of narcissistic abuse)
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For the ways we have been slandered for telling the truth, 
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We cry out. 
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Selah.
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#HealAnyway #PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor #TrySofter #cptsd #narcissticabuse
I’ve been in a writing cave finishing edits for my I’ve been in a writing cave finishing edits for my latest manuscript (IYKYN)—and as I work on a particularly vulnerable and painful story, I am holding these words from the inimitable Henri Nouwen like a prayer: 
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*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
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