• About Aundi
  • Videos
    • Try Softer Guided Journey Videos
    • Strong Like Water Guided Journey Videos
  • Books
    • Stay with Yourself
    • Try Softer
    • The Try Softer Guided Journey
    • Strong like Water
    • Strong Like Water: Guided Journey
    • Take What You Need
  • Work with Me
  • Speaking & Consulting
  • Podcasts
  • Contact
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • RSS
    • Twitter
Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

March 10, 2016 ·

Settling for Safety: When Risk Is Worthwhile

Uncategorized

Settling for safety is my default.

I’m not talking about healthy safety like boundaries or limits or even creating supportive relationships. No, this is a tendency to avoid trying new things or stepping out of a comfort zone because we may fail. This can translate to any part of life and it’s something I’ve been unlearning for at least a decade.

 Photo credit: Canva 

Photo credit: Canva 

I’ve been aware of this concept for awhile, but I started to see it differently when my supervisor used an analogy about painting. He explained to me about the point in a painting where the creator has to risk losing what she’s created in order to make it the best possible art. He said to me, “Aundi, there comes a point when a painter has to choose between a good picture or a great one. The problem is, if you’re wrong you may lose everything.” 

My counseling supervisor can tell this story honestly because he’s a painter. But it resonated with me too. For a recovering perfectionist, the fear of failure can keep them from risking at all. So in a way, those of us who fear risk, never get a chance to create our own masterpiece because we’re too busy being good enough. Playing it safe. Avoiding failure. 

I’m no painter, but the longer I’m alive, the more I realize we don’t get what we want by staying safe. Without the ebb and flow of risk, we never really grow. 

***

This framework around risk is popping up everywhere. Because in all of life we are constantly faced with this question: will we try? Will we allow ourselves to be exposed or do we want to stay put? 

Intuitively, I think we all know about this risk thing and frankly you don’t have to be any sort of perfectionist to be afraid of it. The nature of risk is that vulnerability is intertwined with it. 

Want to know where I’m risking in my life right now? I’m cashing in all my chips on this concept: celebrate. 

I’m learning how much we risk– I risk– when I choose to celebrate. Sometimes it’s because it’s just plain scary. But other times it’s because we don’t know who will join us in celebration. We don’t know how people will react when we proclaim this is something worth being grateful/excited/happy about. And so there we are– risking the masterpiece. Wondering whether this will ruin the painting or put us right along side Picasso? Will I choose to lean into my fear in order to search out the better thing?

And the truth is, some days we will ruin the painting. We may start out strong and end up with a mess at the end. You know what? That’s okay. It is okay to have a bunch of old, used, canvasses so that we can have the few worth keeping. 

I didn’t really understand why celebrate was my word before. I simply knew it was. But already in 2016 I have learned how much it costs me to step out in vulnerability and celebrate where I’m at. This year has already brought its share of heartache. But, I’m learning the risk I experience is worth the joy which comes with celebration.

***

So, I wonder what does this mean for your life? 

What mediocre painting are you willing to risk in order to create a masterpiece instead? 

Are you willing to shake up a comfortable life in order to search for a meaningful one? Or, are you willing to risk feeling ‘put together’ so that you may find your calling? 

The most pertinent question may be, what is so important that you can’t avoid risking for it? 

Let’s dive in together. I think it’s worth it. 

Share this:

  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
Previous Post: « In the Meantime: Thoughts on Grieving Well
Next Post: A Hard Reset {On Learning How to Unplug} »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sarah West says

    March 10, 2016 at 11:02 pm

    Thank you for your words! We are in similar groups on Facebook (but now I cannot find you!) I shared your post today on http://www.facebook.com/heartskeeper and our community page Heartskeeper Community Writers! Keep up the great work!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 11, 2016 at 4:17 pm

      Thank so much for stopping by and reading, Sarah! Grateful for your kind words.

When we don’t center survivors—it matters. It can When we don’t center survivors—it matters. It can change the trajectory of someone’s healing.
🌿
One of the reasons I emphasize offering as much agency as possible in places where I have influence (like writing, speaking, & therapy), is because experiences of powerlessness are a core component of trauma,* and so often, people are re-traumatized when they try to get help and heal. 
🌿
And yet, we cannot heal a wound the way it was created. Where agency was stolen or taken, it must be returned & restored for there to be repair.
🌿
Centering survivors matters. And healing must take a different path than harm. May it be so. #StayWithYourself 
.

*Including but not limited to developmental, spiritual, relational, sexual, medical, racial, and more
#trysofter #cptsd #stronglikewater #healanyway
Sending all my love to trauma survivors today. Tak Sending all my love to trauma survivors today. Take extra care. And as my friend @sarahcarterwest says, I’m keeping my candle lit with you.🕯️❤️‍🩹
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #selfcompassion #loveyourneighborASYourself #cptsd
This particular lament has been on the tip of my l This particular lament has been on the tip of my lips for months now, but as news like the Cornell 7 & profound allegations of abuse are uncovered in Christian spaces—I wanted to write and share it now. #StayWithYourself #TrySofter #PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
.
(Dedicated to Jane Doe, and each person who has been harmed by institution betrayal).
.
**Dr. Jennifer Freyd coined the term institutional betrayal and it is when “a trusted organization or system harms an individual who depends on it, or fails to prevent and properly respond to wrongdoings committed within its context.” She notes the opposite of institutional betrayal is institutional courage.** 
.
Selah.
For all the times you’ve shamed yourself, thinking For all the times you’ve shamed yourself, thinking it would somehow heal you, I see you. 
🌿
May compassion be your portion. 🙏
(As always, take what you need)
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed #Beloved
I still can’t believe all the love from my announc I still can’t believe all the love from my announcement of “Stay With Yourself.” 😭🕯️Thank you, thank you, thank you. What an absolute honor. Truly.
🌿
As your week ends, I wonder if any of these resonate? As always, take what you need.🫶🏻 #StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #fawning #cptsd 
(You can pre-order “Stay With Yourself” wherever books are sold. Links in my profile 📕)
Eeeeeee! I am SO excited to finally share my newes Eeeeeee! I am SO excited to finally share my newest offering, this work of my heart: 
“Stay With Yourself: A Soft & Fierce Invitation to Unlearn Pleasing, Performing, & Keeping the Peace—And Live From Your Truest, God-Given Center”(releasing March, 9th, 2027🎉)
🌿
Whew, this book has been a long time coming. I first wrote about fawning & how we brilliantly survive relational trauma by leaving ourselves (especially by overaccomodating, self abandonment, appeasing, and keeping the peace) back in “Try Softer” (2020). The truth is though, I always knew there was more for me to say. Because fawning is often the engine for so much suffering for relational trauma survivors—and in truth, so much of my own suffering; I knew there would come a time I would write this very book. I wasn’t ready then, but I’m ready now. 
🌿
And so, this is a book about how elemental our relationships are, at every stage, but especially in childhood—and what happens when we have to leave ourselves to survive.
🌿
This is a book about the way fawning keeps us alive (thank God) & connected to relationships that we perceive are necessary for our survival, but can come to feel like suffocating chains if we don’t have enough safety to unlearn it.
🌿
This is a book about how regularly Christian spaces conflate the fawn survival response of overaccomodating, self-abandonment, & appeasement for Jesus’ call toward healthy generosity and self-giving. It’s also about the ways this misunderstanding is often purposely weaponized to facilitate compliance & silence, especially from the most vulnerable. 
🌿
This is a book about what happens when we don’t have access to the solidness and truth of who God made us to be; our Self. It’s about the ways it changes the very essence of our internal organization, our ability to heal, & how we show up in the world.
🌿
Ultimately, this is also a loveletter—about what it means to build the capacity to do something different; to finally feel the healthy anger, grief, & clarity we must feel to live in alignment—and stay with our God-given selves {I would be so honored if you would consider pre-ordering! You can find the link in my profile and in stories 🕯️🕯️🕯️}
Fawning is a relational trauma response to relatio Fawning is a relational trauma response to relational trauma. It requires us to lose ourselves, so we don’t lose relationships that are essential for our safety and survival. 
.
And because this trauma deeply ruptures our relationship to ourselves; our own body — the healing must always include and repair how we relate to ourselves, too.
May it be so.
🌿
(p.s. I have a huge announcement related to this coming out next week, if you’re not subscribed to my email list, I’d love to have you!)🌿 (link in stories or at substack.com/@aundikolber)
#fawning #cptsd #trysofter #stronglikewater
Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2026 Aundi Kolber · Design by Bethany Ruth

    all fields required

    Would you like to subscribe to Aundi's email updates?
    YesNo