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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

May 5, 2016 ·

How a Song Reminds Us to be Grateful

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I’m a sucker for a good song. My sensitive, deep feeling self always takes note when I hear something particularly poignant.

Recently a music video by Nichole Nordeman has been making the rounds on Facebook and social media. One of the verses goes like this:

“Slow down

Won’t you stay here a minute more

I know you want to walk through the door

But it’s all too fast

Let’s make it last a little while

I pointed to the sky and now you wanna fly

I am your biggest fan

I hope you know I am

But do you think you can somehow

Slow down”

Her words have obviously resonated with many folks. As of the writing of this blog, her video has been viewed over 14 million times. In her lyrics she is specifically talking about her kiddos, but I wonder if it moves so many people because of how rarely we connect with the sacred.

Childhood is a time of life never to be repeated and therefore holds a special kind of holy. We will never again have the innocence or naivety we have as kiddos. And no matter how much we love our children, we can’t give it back to them either.

I wonder if this is why we hold this song with tear stained hands as we think about the process of growing up. We know it will happen and it’s good—but it’s hard to say goodbye to the wonder and the dependence and the love of childhood.

But maybe, it’s supposed to be hard? Maybe that’s okay. 

***

I write frequently about bittersweet topics. Once we see how fleeting so many precious aspects of life are, we can’t help but acknowledge the grief existing right next to joy.

Good art seems to pull this from us. It causes us to view something with a wide lens. We are forced to acknowledge the dichotomy of our experiences. Childhood with many beautiful pieces also comes with an expiration date.

And so with our deadline, we tend to value it all the more.

I hope I’m always moved when I’m confronted with the brevity of life. I hope I can never think about how quickly life passes and feel numb to it. I’m grateful for artists like Nichole Nordeman who point these things out in us.

This is the stuff, don’t you think? 

The recognition of life and how it passes through our hands like sand; and instead of cursing it’s passing—we celebrate that we touched it at all.

(In case you haven’t seen the video yet and need a good cry. Enjoy.)

 

 

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These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨ #TakeWha These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨
#TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #cptsd #Beloved
Some of you may know from my writing and speaking Some of you may know from my writing and speaking that in addition to being a trauma therapist, I am a long-term survivor of Narcissistic abuse and Complex PTSD. Today, I felt moved to share this reflection from a few years ago that I’ve adapted a bit as I’ve continued in my own work (and I’ll be sharing more layers of my story & the complexity involved with it in my upcoming book.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️‍🔥)
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But for now: if this is part of your story too, I honor that in the same way the wounding is complicated, so, too, can the healing be. There is no shame there. The repair must match the rupture.❤️‍🩹 And yet, even if healing is complicated—you are so worthy of it. Sending love. #cptsd #narcissticabuse #trysofter #stronglikewater #grief
Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve learned to leave yourself to survive—the return can be terrifying and yet deeply satisfying all at the same time. May you experience repair in every way you need. 
// As always take what you need.
#Beloved #TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #fawning
Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been h Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been here. Sometimes my body & spirit tell me it’s time to take a longer break, and though I care deeply about this work—practicing what I preach matters to me even more. I’m not quite ready to enter back in more regularly, but until then, I thought I’d leave a few things I’ve been chewing on. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear. 🌿 (As always, take what you need)
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And may you, in the way and the pace you’re able—have access to the rest you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborASyourself #cptsd
Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶 Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶🏻#PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborasyourself
Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
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