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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

May 5, 2016 ·

How a Song Reminds Us to be Grateful

Uncategorized

I’m a sucker for a good song. My sensitive, deep feeling self always takes note when I hear something particularly poignant.

Recently a music video by Nichole Nordeman has been making the rounds on Facebook and social media. One of the verses goes like this:

“Slow down

Won’t you stay here a minute more

I know you want to walk through the door

But it’s all too fast

Let’s make it last a little while

I pointed to the sky and now you wanna fly

I am your biggest fan

I hope you know I am

But do you think you can somehow

Slow down”

Her words have obviously resonated with many folks. As of the writing of this blog, her video has been viewed over 14 million times. In her lyrics she is specifically talking about her kiddos, but I wonder if it moves so many people because of how rarely we connect with the sacred.

Childhood is a time of life never to be repeated and therefore holds a special kind of holy. We will never again have the innocence or naivety we have as kiddos. And no matter how much we love our children, we can’t give it back to them either.

I wonder if this is why we hold this song with tear stained hands as we think about the process of growing up. We know it will happen and it’s good—but it’s hard to say goodbye to the wonder and the dependence and the love of childhood.

But maybe, it’s supposed to be hard? Maybe that’s okay. 

***

I write frequently about bittersweet topics. Once we see how fleeting so many precious aspects of life are, we can’t help but acknowledge the grief existing right next to joy.

Good art seems to pull this from us. It causes us to view something with a wide lens. We are forced to acknowledge the dichotomy of our experiences. Childhood with many beautiful pieces also comes with an expiration date.

And so with our deadline, we tend to value it all the more.

I hope I’m always moved when I’m confronted with the brevity of life. I hope I can never think about how quickly life passes and feel numb to it. I’m grateful for artists like Nichole Nordeman who point these things out in us.

This is the stuff, don’t you think? 

The recognition of life and how it passes through our hands like sand; and instead of cursing it’s passing—we celebrate that we touched it at all.

(In case you haven’t seen the video yet and need a good cry. Enjoy.)

 

 

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Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Oliver), helps capture truth in a way psychology struggles to fully articulate. The reality of what it feels like to thaw the pain we hold can be difficult to put words to, but this from Mary has been so meaningful to me:
🌿
“We shake with joy,
we shake with grief.
What a time they have, these two
housed as they are in the same body.”
-Mary Oliver, We Shake With Joy
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Sending love.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #traumaresolution #cptsd
Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profoun Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profound gratitude for our love and the life, God helping us, we’ve created. Sometimes, against all odds. 
🌿
But here we are, still choosing each other; choosing us. The goodness of God in the land of the living.
🌿
Thank you for all the ways you’ve helped me find home again, B. Happy anniversary, my love. @bckolber
#trysofter #stronglikewater
Not me geeking out because my words are on @insigh Not me geeking out because my words are on @insighttimer today (just kidding, I’m totally geeking out 🙃🥹)
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Fun fact, Insight Timer has been a huge resource in my personal work toward self-compassion and mindfulness, particularly practices with Sarah Blondin.
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Thanks @stephpoe1 & @hkoxhandler for making sure I didn’t miss it ✨🫶🏻✨
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And thanks @insighttimer for the shout out.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #insighttimer #cptsd #trauma
In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it co In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it cost you to know what you know.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹
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May your healing come.🌿
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#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #traumaresolution #cptsd
Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and I might add, that it’s not only in churches, but in non-profits, families, parachurch ministries, goverments, NGO’s, the publishing industry, and any systems where we don’t consciously and actively make it safe for survivors to speak up. 
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As Dr. Jennifer Freyd notes regarding institutional courage: “We must cherish the whistleblowers.” Indeed. 
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And to the survivors: I honor you. I’m sorry you’ve had to be so strong. ❤️‍🩹
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May you be surprised by the mystery of healing. 🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #healanyway #traumaresolution
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