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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

May 5, 2016 ·

How a Song Reminds Us to be Grateful

Uncategorized

I’m a sucker for a good song. My sensitive, deep feeling self always takes note when I hear something particularly poignant.

Recently a music video by Nichole Nordeman has been making the rounds on Facebook and social media. One of the verses goes like this:

“Slow down

Won’t you stay here a minute more

I know you want to walk through the door

But it’s all too fast

Let’s make it last a little while

I pointed to the sky and now you wanna fly

I am your biggest fan

I hope you know I am

But do you think you can somehow

Slow down”

Her words have obviously resonated with many folks. As of the writing of this blog, her video has been viewed over 14 million times. In her lyrics she is specifically talking about her kiddos, but I wonder if it moves so many people because of how rarely we connect with the sacred.

Childhood is a time of life never to be repeated and therefore holds a special kind of holy. We will never again have the innocence or naivety we have as kiddos. And no matter how much we love our children, we can’t give it back to them either.

I wonder if this is why we hold this song with tear stained hands as we think about the process of growing up. We know it will happen and it’s good—but it’s hard to say goodbye to the wonder and the dependence and the love of childhood.

But maybe, it’s supposed to be hard? Maybe that’s okay. 

***

I write frequently about bittersweet topics. Once we see how fleeting so many precious aspects of life are, we can’t help but acknowledge the grief existing right next to joy.

Good art seems to pull this from us. It causes us to view something with a wide lens. We are forced to acknowledge the dichotomy of our experiences. Childhood with many beautiful pieces also comes with an expiration date.

And so with our deadline, we tend to value it all the more.

I hope I’m always moved when I’m confronted with the brevity of life. I hope I can never think about how quickly life passes and feel numb to it. I’m grateful for artists like Nichole Nordeman who point these things out in us.

This is the stuff, don’t you think? 

The recognition of life and how it passes through our hands like sand; and instead of cursing it’s passing—we celebrate that we touched it at all.

(In case you haven’t seen the video yet and need a good cry. Enjoy.)

 

 

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It’s really hard to experience God as safe when yo It’s really hard to experience God as safe when you’re taught theology that defends abusers and abandons the abused.
🌿
May there be a repair for every untruth that has facilitated your harm.
🌿
May your healing come. 🙏
(As always take what you need). #StayWithYourself 
#TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #religioustrauma survivor-centered trauma-informed
Being able to name our experience is so helpful & Being able to name our experience is so helpful & important, but with the fawn response—it can start to feel suffocating to know about what we’re experiencing and feel like we can’t change it. 
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And yet, we can learn to work “with” our fawn response; living from our Center instead of survival. #staywithyourself #trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd
If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what y If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what you need to stay with yourself.🕯️#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #LoveyourneighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
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Fawn, fawn response, cPTSD, healing, nervous system, religious trauma, attachment trauma, alignment, faith and mental health
A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat o A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat on the release of his newest offering, “Who You’re Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age.” This is a phenomenally timely book, written by someone who works to embody what he writes. I was honored to endorse it. Here’s what I said:
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“In the midst of our unmoored, image obsessed culture, Dr. Chuck DeGroat offers us the grounding wisdom we so often forget: God is with us as we become ourselves. With kindness and deft insight, DeGroat leads us through the practical, courageous, and often slow work required to cultivate maturity and true character. In so doing, Who You’re Becoming serves as a powerful and needed guide for anyone wanting to go beyond a try-hard faith or mere surface level change—so they can deepen into their truest, beloved selves.”
Aundi Kolber MA, LPC
Therapist & Author of Try Softer and Strong like Water
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Congrats, Chuck! You can find “Who You’re Becoming” wherever books are sold (link in stories or check out an excerpt on my substack today—also in stories 🎉)
#WhoYoureBecoming
There can be so much valid grief that comes from l There can be so much valid grief that comes from losing relationships while you heal.*
🍁 
But if you have to choose between keeping a relationship & keeping you—l hope you choose you.
🍁
God does not abandon you, & you don’t have to abandon yourself either. Selah. 
(As always, take what you need 🕯️)
#StayWithYourself #Fawning #TrySofter #Cptsd #narcissticabuse 
🍁
Need more resources & insight? You can pre-order my newest offering, “Stay With Yourself,” that addresses exactly these issues (link in profile).
🍁
*For example, from setting healthy boundaries, advocating for yourself, or being unwilling to participate in toxic dynamics.
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 Boundaries | embodied boundaries | interpersonal trauma | relationships | self compassion | integrating faith and mental health
Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emo Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emotions around injustice or harm一but rather so we can access the clarity to live in alignment even amidst intensity.
🌿 
And so may you find Ground that holds you steady.
#StayWithYourself #StronglikeWater #TrySofter #regulation #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨ #StayWithYourself #Try May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #HealAnyway #TakeWhatYouNee
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Fawn | trauma | trauma resolution | cPTSD | religious trauma | nervous system | attachment trauma | complex trauma | grief | faith and mental health | self compassion | compassionate attention
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