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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

July 12, 2016 ·

Finding Hope in the Restorer {the One Who Will Make Things Right}

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We don’t have to look far to see folks who are discouraged and tired and worn in our country. In my little corner of the universe I’m seeing it a lot. I see protestors who are sick with grief. I see cops who are maxed out and broken. I see mommas who are weary from watching and caring for kiddos, all while seeing the world crumble around them. I see friends who are exhausted from life and too many cares to count. I see a culture that is grieving, over stimulated, and emotionally dysregulated. Most of us have never learned how to feel feelings, so when we are forced to confront deep pain we have no resources to turn to.  

It’s easy, don’t you think, to want to stick your head in a hole when life feels big and sad? Or on the other side, we’re ready to fight like the world is ending. It’s the fight or flight response giving us a big old reminder that it’s alive and kicking.

This week as I sat in church, also weary from a world imploding, I felt so encouraged by the simple remembrance that Jesus is our good shepherd. Right now our church is doing a series on the Psalms, and this week we read Psalm 23 (NRSV).

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures;
he leads me beside still waters;
   he restores my soul.
He leads me in right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
    I fear no evil;
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff—
    they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
    my whole life long.

Although so many pieces of this psalm speak to me, the part that feels like a cold drink of water on a scorching Denver day is this: “He restores my soul” (v. 3a). Because in a way, I think this is what we’re looking for—the one who will restore us. We’re like wanderers, asking again and again—where is the one who will make us whole?

I’m so grateful for this reminder about the truest nature of who the Lord is to each of us. I am constantly tempted to be the person who has the answers, or who knows the stats, or the background, or whatever (as if I could fulfill that role, anyway). And yes, I have a part to play in our culture and in “being the change I want to see.” But you know what changes my actions from striving to living well; to living out of wholeness instead of shame? 

It is the reminder that He is the restorer. He is the one who fills us up when we’re empty and weary.

Out of this posture, out of connecting and knowing the restorer, I become brave and bold to go into the world and lift up the arms of my brothers and sisters. Because I know where the well of life is, I can take a drink and pass it on to others. Better yet, I’ll bring them right up to the edge. And maybe this would be the greatest achievement of my life, to be someone who points to the restorer. Because this I know for sure, my well goes dry fast. I so quickly run out of compassion, empathy, and energy– but I am grateful to be connected to one who loves each of us so well. 

Reader, may we reach for the restorer of our souls. May we find that he is reaching for us too. 

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Previous Post: « 5 Ways to be Kind to Yourself When You’re in the Middle of the Storm
Next Post: Un-Stuck {We Have Permission to Change} »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Tina Jones Stout says

    July 12, 2016 at 6:54 pm

    Aundi, This is so good, so rich, so honest. Such a wonderful reminder as I sit here and watch the funeral of the fallen police officers in Dallas. Life is a continual press, it is constant work, because we live in the fallen. But your reminder is that we have a healer, a helper, a restorer, who lives outside of the fallen. Yes, may we reach toward the hand that is always reaching to us so that we may rise above and beyond the press of this life.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      July 13, 2016 at 1:58 pm

      Amen, Tina. So grateful for your encouragement. Thank you for reading!

These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨ #TakeWha These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨
#TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #cptsd #Beloved
Some of you may know from my writing and speaking Some of you may know from my writing and speaking that in addition to being a trauma therapist, I am a long-term survivor of Narcissistic abuse and Complex PTSD. Today, I felt moved to share this reflection from a few years ago that I’ve adapted a bit as I’ve continued in my own work (and I’ll be sharing more layers of my story & the complexity involved with it in my upcoming book.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️‍🔥)
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But for now: if this is part of your story too, I honor that in the same way the wounding is complicated, so, too, can the healing be. There is no shame there. The repair must match the rupture.❤️‍🩹 And yet, even if healing is complicated—you are so worthy of it. Sending love. #cptsd #narcissticabuse #trysofter #stronglikewater #grief
Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve learned to leave yourself to survive—the return can be terrifying and yet deeply satisfying all at the same time. May you experience repair in every way you need. 
// As always take what you need.
#Beloved #TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #fawning
Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been h Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been here. Sometimes my body & spirit tell me it’s time to take a longer break, and though I care deeply about this work—practicing what I preach matters to me even more. I’m not quite ready to enter back in more regularly, but until then, I thought I’d leave a few things I’ve been chewing on. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear. 🌿 (As always, take what you need)
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And may you, in the way and the pace you’re able—have access to the rest you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborASyourself #cptsd
Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶 Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶🏻#PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborasyourself
Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
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