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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

July 12, 2016 ·

Finding Hope in the Restorer {the One Who Will Make Things Right}

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We don’t have to look far to see folks who are discouraged and tired and worn in our country. In my little corner of the universe I’m seeing it a lot. I see protestors who are sick with grief. I see cops who are maxed out and broken. I see mommas who are weary from watching and caring for kiddos, all while seeing the world crumble around them. I see friends who are exhausted from life and too many cares to count. I see a culture that is grieving, over stimulated, and emotionally dysregulated. Most of us have never learned how to feel feelings, so when we are forced to confront deep pain we have no resources to turn to.  

It’s easy, don’t you think, to want to stick your head in a hole when life feels big and sad? Or on the other side, we’re ready to fight like the world is ending. It’s the fight or flight response giving us a big old reminder that it’s alive and kicking.

This week as I sat in church, also weary from a world imploding, I felt so encouraged by the simple remembrance that Jesus is our good shepherd. Right now our church is doing a series on the Psalms, and this week we read Psalm 23 (NRSV).

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures;
he leads me beside still waters;
   he restores my soul.
He leads me in right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
    I fear no evil;
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff—
    they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
    my whole life long.

Although so many pieces of this psalm speak to me, the part that feels like a cold drink of water on a scorching Denver day is this: “He restores my soul” (v. 3a). Because in a way, I think this is what we’re looking for—the one who will restore us. We’re like wanderers, asking again and again—where is the one who will make us whole?

I’m so grateful for this reminder about the truest nature of who the Lord is to each of us. I am constantly tempted to be the person who has the answers, or who knows the stats, or the background, or whatever (as if I could fulfill that role, anyway). And yes, I have a part to play in our culture and in “being the change I want to see.” But you know what changes my actions from striving to living well; to living out of wholeness instead of shame? 

It is the reminder that He is the restorer. He is the one who fills us up when we’re empty and weary.

Out of this posture, out of connecting and knowing the restorer, I become brave and bold to go into the world and lift up the arms of my brothers and sisters. Because I know where the well of life is, I can take a drink and pass it on to others. Better yet, I’ll bring them right up to the edge. And maybe this would be the greatest achievement of my life, to be someone who points to the restorer. Because this I know for sure, my well goes dry fast. I so quickly run out of compassion, empathy, and energy– but I am grateful to be connected to one who loves each of us so well. 

Reader, may we reach for the restorer of our souls. May we find that he is reaching for us too. 

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Previous Post: « 5 Ways to be Kind to Yourself When You’re in the Middle of the Storm
Next Post: Un-Stuck {We Have Permission to Change} »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Tina Jones Stout says

    July 12, 2016 at 6:54 pm

    Aundi, This is so good, so rich, so honest. Such a wonderful reminder as I sit here and watch the funeral of the fallen police officers in Dallas. Life is a continual press, it is constant work, because we live in the fallen. But your reminder is that we have a healer, a helper, a restorer, who lives outside of the fallen. Yes, may we reach toward the hand that is always reaching to us so that we may rise above and beyond the press of this life.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      July 13, 2016 at 1:58 pm

      Amen, Tina. So grateful for your encouragement. Thank you for reading!

May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
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*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
Take What You Need // However this weekend finds y Take What You Need // However this weekend finds you, I hope you feel loved. 🫶🏻 #MothersDay #TrySofter #Cptsd #infertility #beloved
Learning to believe your own experience is a vital Learning to believe your own experience is a vital part of healing from relational trauma, especially experiences like narcissistic abuse. For survivors, it’s often been safer to discount your internal world than it is to believe yourself. And this makes sense, because we were wired for connection. But connection was never meant to be a weapon and it’s only when we start to be grounded in reality that we can untangle love or friendship from harm. 
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As we begin to have to have capacity to honor the truth of our experience, we develop the inner trust to live more and more in alignment. May it be so.
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If it feels like a resource, this practice is for you. #takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #cptsd
Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, greetings to you Maycemeber); but I have found myself full up. I have been full with a whole bunch of goodness; good work, but also intensity. Projects and commitments that require a me that is grounded, resourced, & clear. It’s often in those times that I especially remember we are invited to do the gentle & fierce work of keeping our eyes out for goodness. Even the smallest bits matter. What a paradox; its goodness & beauty & connection that help fuel us to meet the difficult demands of being a human. And particularly as a trauma survivor, I am reminded that I, that each of us, get to participate in our own repair. What sacred work. 
🌿
If it feels like a resource, I’ll leave you with this:
🌿
May mercy and goodness ground you in your body, your relationships, and in your place. Made the co-regulating love of the God of the universe be in, above, and around you. May it lead you Home again + again.
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Thank you to @benrector for a fabulous concert. Grateful for my writing pal @ashlee_eiland & her amazing staff at Living Stones for being a wonderful & attentive audience today. Big love & gratitude to a husband (@bckolber) + kiddos who light up with joy alongside me, and thank you to @stewartdantec for sharing the fabulous James Baldwin quote.
Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving p Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving pain. Coming to honor the truth of our experience is not an indication of our weakness but a move toward deeper integration.🕯️
Sending love. #trysofter #fawn #beloved #stronglikewater #cptsd
Good morning 🌿 Take what you need.🙏 . Inhale: My Good morning 🌿 
Take what you need.🙏
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Inhale: My work is not to prove myself
Exhale: It’s to be myself 
#beloved #trysofter #compassionateattention #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻 #trysofter #lovenotest For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻
#trysofter #lovenotestomynervoussystem #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #takewhatyouneed
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