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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

August 23, 2016 ·

What I’m Into & An Update

Uncategorized

Hello, dear reader!

I’m trying my hand at something new today. I’m sharing some of my favorite (recent) books and other lovely things. And at the end, I’d love to give you a (big, exciting) update on what’s new with me. 

Lettering: 

Are you like me? Do you drool over beautiful script? My dear friend, Kristie, recently started her own business called “Write It On Your Walls.” I’ve known Kristie since way back in seminary days and she’s always been creative and resourceful. It’s thrilling to see folks come alive doing what they love, isn’t it? This is absolutely true for this gem of a woman and her work reflects it. 

I’m the lucky owner of the sign below and it now hangs proudly in my kitchen. I’d encourage you to follow Kristie on Facebook and Instagram and see more of her beautiful work! 

Books: 

1. Shauna Niequist’s newest book “Present Over Perfect” is speaking my language right now. I’m about half way through and I find myself constantly nodding my head, underlining, and every once in awhile finding I need to stop to digest her words.

Our culture is adept at pushing us to strive. And while I’m all for excellence, it seems our distorted beliefs around value being found in hustling and productivity are slowly killing us. This is why Shauna’s words are a little bit of what we all need to hear right now:

“In seasons of deep transformation, silence will be your greatest guide. Even if it’s scary, especially if it’s scary, let silence be your anchor, your sacred space, your dwelling place. It’s where you will become used to your own voice…Silence will become the incubator for your new found spirit, keeping it safe, growing steadily.” – Shauna Niequist

You can follow Shauna on Facebook or look to purchase her book here. 

2. If you’ve followed me for awhile, you may know I have a passion for reading and from that a hobby developed– launch teams! A launch team is basically a group of folks who share about authors and their stories. Earlier this summer, I had the privilege of launching “Four Letter Words” by Krista Wilbur. I had the opportunity to get to know Krista through the “For the Love” launch team and I have been amazed at her courage. 

Krista’s story reads like a novel but is beautifully and painfully true. (As a counselor, I also want to advise a trigger warning for those of you who’ve experienced abuse). She articulates her experience walking through abuse and trauma and ultimately her resilient move towards healing. I was moved by the way Krista integrated her faith, pain, and story so well– be sure to check her out.  

“He has written me, line by line, a bloom of petals on the page”

-Krista Wilbur

You can follow Krista on Facebook and purchase her book here. 

Music:

Have you met Johnnyswim? They’re basically amazing and if you’ve haven’t heard them yet– may I submit this smooth beauty to you: 

Jewelry: 

Earlier this year, when we lost our precious babe to miscarriage— my heart was broken. There’s simply no way around this truth. And this is how we know we care deeply about something, we hurt over the loss of it. In the months since then, I’ve healed in many respects. One of the things I was blessed to have received in the aftermath of our loss is a beautiful leather bracelet from another sweet friend. She gifted it to me from the fabulously talented Danielle at her online store: Create Hope Cuffs. The words to that little beauty have adorned my wrist so frequently and this is what it says: We Can Do Hard Things. 

How many times have I said this to myself in the last 6 months? Too many to count– and I’m glad I had something so tangible to remind me and ground me. Check out Danielle’s Facebook and Etsy store!  

Update: 

And now, onto a bit of an update. As I mentioned above, I’ve started to share my journey through infertility and miscarriage. I have so appreciated words of kindness as we’ve walked through the grief of those experiences. Both infertility and miscarriage tend to hold heavy stigmas. I hope to use my voice to continue to bring light to the reality of these losses and the courage it takes to process them well. I am passionate and confident in the importance of telling each of our stories–all the pieces of them. This, I’m convinced, is how the healing and the joy become deeper and richer. When we embrace the pain of our story we find God is sitting with us, loving us deeply, moving us toward healing. 

So, to keep things REALLY interesting– I also find myself typing at my computer with a baby boy in my belly– 22 weeks pregnant. (Eeeeekkkk!!!!!!)

This has been something I’ve kept tucked close for awhile, but it’s a joy to share with you now. As our story unfolds I’m sure I’ll be writing more in the future. For now, I’d love your prayers as we move forward– stunned at God’s faithfulness and grateful for the journey. 

Thank you again for your love and support. 

Aundi

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Previous Post: « The Weight of It {When Words Matter}
Next Post: When the Hustle Can’t Make You Whole »
Hello, my dears…it has been a long while since I Hello, my dears…it has been a long while since I’ve been here and I’m peeking my head in to say hi. I’ve been taking some extended time off of social media and it’s has been helpful, needed, and clarifying—though I miss connecting with you all here.
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A few months ago, I shared that I’m troubled by much of IG’s current framework (more on that in stories.) Sooo I’m working to change how I show up here and I think some of that will mean that parts of my public work will be other places. I don’t have all of it figured out yet, but I hope you’ll stay tuned and I will be sure to share more as I have it available. Either way, thanks for being here. I hope you’re taking care of yourself, using your voice and influence in the ways that you’re able. May we all have what we need to heal anyway. 🫶🏻
#TrySofter #TakeWhatYouNeed #HealAnyway #StronglikeWater
Thinking about this as we end the week: It can be Thinking about this as we end the week: It can be so disorienting and disturbing when you’ve experienced abuse or oppression that is targeted at making you question your reality.
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So frequently in this kind of situation we learn to mistrust ourselves as a way to make sense of what is happening; even if our perceptions are indeed accurate. 
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Often, at least part of the repair to this kind of experience starts with being fully seen & validated in the presence of someone else’s compassionate, attuned attention. This safety allows us to rebuild our internal templates— at whatever pace we’re able—so that we can ultimately come to believe ourselves (again or for the first time) & and live more and more from our true God-given self. #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
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Need more resources + insight? Follow along at @aundikolber or check out my books, “Try Softer,” “Strong like Water,” and “Take What You Need” (links in profile 💛)
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*alt text in post*
Today is Ash Wednesday in the Christian tradition, Today is Ash Wednesday in the Christian tradition, and though there are many different significant insights from this day and the whole Lenten season—one important element I’m thinking about today is this: 
We are not machines. 
We are not objects. 
We are not check lists.
We are not commodities. 
We are not projects. 
We are not drive through windows.
We are not trash receptacles. 
We are fragile, resilient, and oh, so, Beloved humans that will someday be dust. But even then, we will be sacred dust.
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In a time where dehumanizing rhetoric seems to rule the day, particularly towards those who have already been the most marginalized—may our finite humanity be an invitation to remember how we want to live & move in the world. #TrySofter #CompassionateAttention #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
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So much of trauma takes away choice, and so it mat So much of trauma takes away choice, and so it matters deeply that the language we use in healing reflects empowerment and repair.
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Through the years, I have worked to find words that help translate an invitational, survivor centered, trauma informed ethos into language. I am certainly not perfect, and in many ways that’s the point, isn’t it? All of us are in process and I think that—as we are able—staying connected to that humility allows us to stay open to growing & working toward loving our neighbor *as* ourselves.
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Tonight I was thinking about the many phrases that have reminded me of this open posture—and I was inspired to write down a few. (I have loved seeing this poetry format floating around the internet—kuddos to the originator 🙏🏻)
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📙Needing more resources & insight? I’d be honored if you check out my newest offering that released just two weeks ago: “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days” (link in profile 🌻) #TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater
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*Alt text included in post*
Today is my 42nd birthday—and I’ll tell you wh Today is my 42nd birthday—and I’ll tell you what, I feel deeply grateful to be alive. What a privilege it is to grow older. This last year was hard in ways I haven’t been able to fully share, but I think someday I will. But here’s what I noticed in myself this last year: more so than ever before I have learned to trust the voice God has given me & the wisdom placed within me.
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A significant portion of the trauma & particularly narcissistic abuse I experienced in my life has been targeted at causing me to disbelieve my own reality, experience, strength, and integrity. It caused me so much suffering not to know if I could believe myself. It has been the hardest work of my life to choose—again and again—to be on my own damn team. To know God is already waiting for me to see how loved I am; to see the people who choose me; to see the Goodness already present around me; to embody what I have devoted my life to teaching, speaking, and writing about.
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Thank you for being here; my heart is full. #TrySofter #TakeWhatYouNeed #StronglikeWater #cptsd #narcissticabuse #healanyway
There will come a time when I’ll be ready to ful There will come a time when I’ll be ready to fully unpack the bittersweet goodness & honor of being back on the Oregon coast this last week. But for today, I sense my body & spirit need a bit more time to fully digest all that happened.
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In the meantime I’ll say this, the quote I shared from Francis Weller reminds me of what I felt for so much of my trip; the necessary partnership of grief & aliveness. They are inextricably linked and a vital part of our God given humanity. In so many respects healing will always involve grieving because it’s part of the mechanism that allows us to metabolize pain. Often I think of the verses that remind us that Jesus was acquainted with grief; a man of sorrows—and it heartens me in my own deep work and what Francis Weller calls an “apprenticeship with sorrow.” 
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Each of my siblings, my mom, and even my nieces and nephews have their own story, but all of us have had to walk our own journeys of grief, repair, and ultimately—gratefully—aliveness. I’m so proud of this little family of mine and thankful for these sweet moments where we’ve been able to both celebrate and grieve as we walk the path. And it’s not lost on me how much this kind of work matters, especially in a world that seeks to desensitize us to suffering and the humanity around us. May we each have what we need for our own “apprenticeship with sorrow,” because the world needs our aliveness. #TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater
If it feels like a resource, then I hope you take If it feels like a resource, then I hope you take what you need ✌🏻
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(I’m mostly offline this week as I’m in Oregon for a bit, visiting my family & my old stomping grounds. Grateful to be here 💛🌊) 
#TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater
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📔 Needing more resources & insight? Check out my newest offering: “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days”—a contemplative coffee table book designed to make my previous writings as accessible as possible (link in profile💛)
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IC: Your softness will always feel like a threat to folks who want your heart hard + half alive.
I hope you stay soft anyway.
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