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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

December 19, 2017 ·

3 Ways to Support Someone Recovering From Trauma {Guest Post for Relevant Magazine}

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In my days as a novice therapist, I was terrified to work with trauma survivors. I had been given tools and plenty of support from supervisors, sure. But as a trauma survivor myself, I worried I wouldn’t support them adequately. My greatest fear was to re-traumatize people. Graciously, in the decade since, God has utilized therapy, relationships and His goodness to mend me and grow my confidence to walk with the wounded. 

Lately, there is no shortage of news regarding survivors of trauma and abuse. Just recently Time magazine named the “silence breakers” of the #MeToo movement as their person of the year, and as I write, fires plague Southern California. While sexual assault is finally making headlines, it’s not new, nor are the multiple ways people can be traumatized. 

 Picture via Relevant Magazine 

Picture via Relevant Magazine 

Defining Terms

But what exactly do we mean when we say trauma, or more accurately, traumatic stress? According to leading researchers like Bessel van der Kolk and Peter Levine, it’s when a person’s natural threat response is activated in their body, but their ability to cope becomes overwhelmed and ultimately stuck in a hyper/hypo vigilant mode.

Thus, the traumatic event(s) become “stuck” in a person’s body instead of being stored as a normal memory. This inability to properly integrate the event into the narrative of their life is what results in symptoms such as flashbacks, disturbing thoughts, physical ailments or emotional volatility.

According to The Sidran Institute, 70 percent of Americans will experience at least one major trauma in their life and 20 percent of those folks will go on to develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). As Christians who want to love well, it’s vital we recognize our role in supporting the hurting within and without our walls.

Click here to keep reading at Relevant Magazine. 

 

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Previous Post: « Waiting for a Miracle {Guest Post for The Redbud Post}
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These are for you, if you’re feeling the weariness These are for you, if you’re feeling the weariness of these days or the reality of the pain in our world. May Compassion be a fuel that allows us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.💛
🌿
Which of these resonate with you today? As always, take what you need, and set down what doesn’t. 
🌿
Aaaaand, just one month late: Happy 1 year anniversary to “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days.” 🥳 I’m so proud and grateful for this little book. Thank you to each of you who’ve shared about it, left reviews, and reminded me why it’s mattered to you. I’m so honored. If you haven’t already, I’d love for you to check it out (link in stories and profile 🌻) @tyndalehouse 
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(These affirmations aren’t from the book, but they were inspired by the spirit of it.)
#takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater
In our culture, tenderness is often viewed as a li In our culture, tenderness is often viewed as a liability, even and especially the tenderness we gain from healing. But the paradox is, the softness we gain is actually the source of some of our greatest strength. Selah. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #loveyourneighborasyourself
Healing work is not only about us, but make no mis Healing work is not only about us, but make no mistake — it must include us; it must include the relationship we have with ourselves. 
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At the pace you are able, may your healing come. 
#TrySofter #Stronglikewater #TakeWhatYouNeed #fawning #cptsd
I realize I’m breaking the rules of instagram by p I realize I’m breaking the rules of instagram by posting two selfies in a row, but today is my 43rd birthday so I’m gonna just do the thing. ✌🏻 I’ll say this, it was a hell of a year. I feel proud and grateful, and also, more than a little tired. Waking up to news of wars, widespread sexual abuse cover ups, and the weaponization of a faith I hold dear will do that to anyone paying attention. But also, something I’ve learned as a long term survivor of cPTSD, is how much it matters to hold onto my center; my God-given self. I’ve learned that abuse teaches us to leave ourselves, and we often do, just so we can survive. Which is why it is some of the most sacred work of my life to, by the grace of God, choose to stay instead. 
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And so that is how I’m entering this year: tenaciously committed to the life + self God has given me, to the people around me, to the work that is a privilege to do. To, as the prophet Micah once wrote, “act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
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Thanks to each of you who have been here, who have supported my work, who have spoken life into me. I do not take it lightly. Grateful. xx
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
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Pink shirt in 1st photo is from @treetopscollective (check out their important work on behalf of refugees in the Grand Rapids, MI. Also, this isn’t an ad, I just love their work :)
Leaving this here to mark the fact that I just tur Leaving this here to mark the fact that I just turned in my 3rd full length manuscript 😭🕯️. Y’all. i. AM. tIRed.
I cannot wait to share about this book with you in the coming year, but what I can say—is something I used to tell myself when I played a whole lot of basketball: “I’m leaving it all on the floor.” Whew. Happy Friday, my dears. (And now to rest)🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #authorsofinstagram
It’s for you, if you need it.✌🏻#TakeWhatYouNeed # It’s for you, if you need it.✌🏻#TakeWhatYouNeed 
#TrySofter #StronglikeWater #LoveNotesToMyNervousSystem
This is an evergreen message, but it’s perhaps esp This is an evergreen message, but it’s perhaps especially timely as we navigate this cultural moment. Compassion is soft, but it doesn’t fold. 🌿
#BelieveSurvivors #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
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