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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

November 23, 2015 ·

An Open Letter to Weary Internet Souls

Uncategorized

Dear tired heart,

I see how you advocate and sound off for your cause. I see the way you stand for orphans, mental health, refugees, racism, veterans, safety, and hope (although, possibly at different times and in a different order).

Thank you for using your voice. Thank your for sharing your opinions. They do matter.

But let us also be honest.

We live in a world and a climate in which we easily lose each other’s humanity. Studies show the simple factor of communicating behind a screen directly impacts our ability to be empathic or care about other humans.

So whether this has caused you to say harsh things you would never, ever, dream of saying to someone face to face, or whether these things have been said to you, take heart, we weren’t meant to work out difficult things in only this way.

Also, this: your voice and your advocacy are important.

But also know, it is rare and uncommon for anyone’s opinions to be changed through a Facebook or twitter thread.

This doesn’t mean there’s not room for discussion, in fact, we need healthy conversation and push back. But the weight of changing someone’s mind does not fall on you. God gave each of us a brain, and we are called and responsible for our own actions and opinions.

So if your soul feels like it’s weighed down with a lead blanket, may I encourage you?

May I encourage you to log off for awhile and re-engage with your people and your hope and your faith?

This internet world is amazing and terrifying and scary and good. I have witnessed the value of it many times. But it’s just a resource. It’s not the ‘be all, end all.’ We were made for relationship, and so if you find yourself missing the grace, truth, and grit of real relationship, could you stop what you’re doing and call a friend? Could you meet for coffee? Could you go outside and breathe deep and long and slow?

And then, when you have honored the aches of your soul and done the work to care for your wounds, could you come back to us with your story and your voice?

After you have found ways to ensure you’re not sucked dry from the weight of this, can you come back?

We need you so.

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Previous Post: « When You Want To Be Thankful {But You’re Not}
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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Helen Kerr says

    November 23, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    I LOVE this. I’ve wanted to bang my head against a wall these past few weeks. Thanks for this. I needed it.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      November 23, 2015 at 11:27 pm

      You are so welcome. It has been a tough season, hasn’t it? Grateful this encouraged you.

  2. Brooke F says

    November 23, 2015 at 11:49 pm

    When I get this way about my husband’s salvation, I have to remind myself that God is capable of working with out me. But if I’m lucky, I will get to be involved.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      November 24, 2015 at 2:07 pm

      Amen, Brooke. It’s so hard not to "fix" people, but instead love them and walk with them. Thanks for reading.

  3. Philippa Ettrick says

    November 28, 2015 at 3:27 pm

    Thank you for this! People on the internet these days- just breaks my heart sometimes. And for this- " But the weight of changing someone’s mind does not fall on you. God gave each of us a brain, and we are called and responsible for our own actions and opinions." I need this both for the internet and day to day life.

  4. Leah Kaihoi Everson says

    October 28, 2016 at 8:01 pm

    Oh Aundy. Thanks. I’m signing off this weekend (for the most part) and needed to be reminded that it’s a good decision. Sharing this. Possibly for the second time.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      October 31, 2016 at 1:10 pm

      Leah, I’m so grateful this speaks to your heart and encourages you to take good care of yourself. Thanks so much for reading (and sharing!) I appreciate you!

Every single time we turn toward our pain with emp Every single time we turn toward our pain with empathy & compassion--we're already healing. And paradoxically, it is precisely this work of becoming hospitable to our pain that allows us to learn how to deeply love our neighbors *as* ourselves. We learn to give what we have come to embody. Not from a posture of self abandonment or betrayal, but instead from a healthy, grounded mutuality that honors both our humanity and those around us. May it be so 
(And as always, take what you need & leave what what you don't) . #TrySofter #SelfCompassion #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed #Beloved #cptsd #loveyourneighborASyourself #contemplative 
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Need more resources & insight? Check out my newest offering, “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days”—a contemplative coffee table book designed to help you attune to your mind, body, and soul. 💛 (link in profile)
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
Happy belated Father’s Day to the man who loves Happy belated Father’s Day to the man who loves our kiddos so well, who makes the best pancakes, who dreams up adventures, who speaks up when he sees injustice, who cries + holds space when the grief is heavy, who makes me laugh five minutes later—and who has literally helped me write a new narrative about what dads can be. Thank you for all the ways you show up. We couldn’t love you more  @bckolber 💛💛💛
It’s for you, if it resonates.✌️ (Thanks to It’s for you, if it resonates.✌️
(Thanks to the poet Nayyirah Waheed for her powerful quote) 
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As a gentle reminder, this is only a snippet of my insights + work, and context matters. Please take what you need and leave what you don’t. For more, please check out my website aundikolber.com & my newest offering, “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days”—a contemplative coffee table book designed to help you attune to your mind, body, and soul. 💛 (link in profile)
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
It is profoundly easy to lose our bearings, especi It is profoundly easy to lose our bearings, especially when we are in pain; or when we are overwhelmed by a world in pain. And yet, there is a reality that we can come back to as often as we need: the truest change—even change that requires fire and fierceness—will have Love as the backbone and the frame. May it be so. #TrySofter #TakeWhatYouNeed #StronglikeWater
It was such an honor to write this blog for @annvo It was such an honor to write this blog for @annvoskamp, but also…whew, it was a tender one to share. It seems this is often the way of healing.🫶🏻 
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It’s been just over 3 months since “Take What You Need” released and it’s been a sacred joy to hear from so many of you that you have felt seen + witnessed in those pages. In these times that are filled with much disconnection, fear, and frozenness—I pray we can have access to the groundedness we need to love our neighbor *as* ourselves. May we all have what we need to access the deep God-given wisdom available to us. Selah.
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I’d be honored if you’d consider reading the whole blog over at annvoskamp.com (link in my stories) & and if you haven’t already—pick up a copy of “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days” (link in profile) 🌿
It was such a privilege to preach at @christchurch It was such a privilege to preach at @christchurch.us this last Sunday about what it means that we are Held by God in our pain + how that can empower us to try softer. Especially knowing what a tender + at times complex holiday Mother’s Day can be—it felt especially meaningful to offer this message. 
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And, it was a special bonus to be invited by our dear friend @steveryancarter + to spend time with the lovely @heysarahcarter, too. So much goodness. Thanks for the incredible hospitality, @christchurch.us! 🫶🏻
#trysofter #takewhatyouneed #stronglikewater
Hello, my dears…it has been a long while since I Hello, my dears…it has been a long while since I’ve been here and I’m peeking my head in to say hi. I’ve been taking some extended time off of social media and it’s has been helpful, needed, and clarifying—though I miss connecting with you all here.
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A few months ago, I shared that I’m troubled by much of IG’s current framework (more on that in stories.) Sooo I’m working to change how I show up here and I think some of that will mean that parts of my public work will be other places. I don’t have all of it figured out yet, but I hope you’ll stay tuned and I will be sure to share more as I have it available. Either way, thanks for being here. I hope you’re taking care of yourself, using your voice and influence in the ways that you’re able. May we all have what we need to heal anyway. 🫶🏻
#TrySofter #TakeWhatYouNeed #HealAnyway #StronglikeWater
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