• About Me
  • Videos
    • Try Softer Guided Journey Videos
    • Strong Like Water Guided Journey Videos
  • Books
    • Try Softer
    • The Try Softer Guided Journey
    • Strong like Water
    • Strong Like Water: Guided Journey
    • Take What You Need
  • Work with Me
  • Speaking & Consulting
  • Podcasts
  • Contact
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • RSS
    • Twitter
Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

November 23, 2015 ·

An Open Letter to Weary Internet Souls

Uncategorized

Dear tired heart,

I see how you advocate and sound off for your cause. I see the way you stand for orphans, mental health, refugees, racism, veterans, safety, and hope (although, possibly at different times and in a different order).

Thank you for using your voice. Thank your for sharing your opinions. They do matter.

But let us also be honest.

We live in a world and a climate in which we easily lose each other’s humanity. Studies show the simple factor of communicating behind a screen directly impacts our ability to be empathic or care about other humans.

So whether this has caused you to say harsh things you would never, ever, dream of saying to someone face to face, or whether these things have been said to you, take heart, we weren’t meant to work out difficult things in only this way.

Also, this: your voice and your advocacy are important.

But also know, it is rare and uncommon for anyone’s opinions to be changed through a Facebook or twitter thread.

This doesn’t mean there’s not room for discussion, in fact, we need healthy conversation and push back. But the weight of changing someone’s mind does not fall on you. God gave each of us a brain, and we are called and responsible for our own actions and opinions.

So if your soul feels like it’s weighed down with a lead blanket, may I encourage you?

May I encourage you to log off for awhile and re-engage with your people and your hope and your faith?

This internet world is amazing and terrifying and scary and good. I have witnessed the value of it many times. But it’s just a resource. It’s not the ‘be all, end all.’ We were made for relationship, and so if you find yourself missing the grace, truth, and grit of real relationship, could you stop what you’re doing and call a friend? Could you meet for coffee? Could you go outside and breathe deep and long and slow?

And then, when you have honored the aches of your soul and done the work to care for your wounds, could you come back to us with your story and your voice?

After you have found ways to ensure you’re not sucked dry from the weight of this, can you come back?

We need you so.

Share this:

  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
Previous Post: « When You Want To Be Thankful {But You’re Not}
Next Post: An Advent Lament »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Helen Kerr says

    November 23, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    I LOVE this. I’ve wanted to bang my head against a wall these past few weeks. Thanks for this. I needed it.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      November 23, 2015 at 11:27 pm

      You are so welcome. It has been a tough season, hasn’t it? Grateful this encouraged you.

  2. Brooke F says

    November 23, 2015 at 11:49 pm

    When I get this way about my husband’s salvation, I have to remind myself that God is capable of working with out me. But if I’m lucky, I will get to be involved.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      November 24, 2015 at 2:07 pm

      Amen, Brooke. It’s so hard not to "fix" people, but instead love them and walk with them. Thanks for reading.

  3. Philippa Ettrick says

    November 28, 2015 at 3:27 pm

    Thank you for this! People on the internet these days- just breaks my heart sometimes. And for this- " But the weight of changing someone’s mind does not fall on you. God gave each of us a brain, and we are called and responsible for our own actions and opinions." I need this both for the internet and day to day life.

  4. Leah Kaihoi Everson says

    October 28, 2016 at 8:01 pm

    Oh Aundy. Thanks. I’m signing off this weekend (for the most part) and needed to be reminded that it’s a good decision. Sharing this. Possibly for the second time.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      October 31, 2016 at 1:10 pm

      Leah, I’m so grateful this speaks to your heart and encourages you to take good care of yourself. Thanks so much for reading (and sharing!) I appreciate you!

These are for you, if you’re feeling the weariness These are for you, if you’re feeling the weariness of these days or the reality of the pain in our world. May Compassion be a fuel that allows us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.💛
🌿
Which of these resonate with you today? As always, take what you need, and set down what doesn’t. 
🌿
Aaaaand, just one month late: Happy 1 year anniversary to “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days.” 🥳 I’m so proud and grateful for this little book. Thank you to each of you who’ve shared about it, left reviews, and reminded me why it’s mattered to you. I’m so honored. If you haven’t already, I’d love for you to check it out (link in stories and profile 🌻) @tyndalehouse 
.
(These affirmations aren’t from the book, but they were inspired by the spirit of it.)
#takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater
In our culture, tenderness is often viewed as a li In our culture, tenderness is often viewed as a liability, even and especially the tenderness we gain from healing. But the paradox is, the softness we gain is actually the source of some of our greatest strength. Selah. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #loveyourneighborasyourself
Healing work is not only about us, but make no mis Healing work is not only about us, but make no mistake — it must include us; it must include the relationship we have with ourselves. 
.
At the pace you are able, may your healing come. 
#TrySofter #Stronglikewater #TakeWhatYouNeed #fawning #cptsd
I realize I’m breaking the rules of instagram by p I realize I’m breaking the rules of instagram by posting two selfies in a row, but today is my 43rd birthday so I’m gonna just do the thing. ✌🏻 I’ll say this, it was a hell of a year. I feel proud and grateful, and also, more than a little tired. Waking up to news of wars, widespread sexual abuse cover ups, and the weaponization of a faith I hold dear will do that to anyone paying attention. But also, something I’ve learned as a long term survivor of cPTSD, is how much it matters to hold onto my center; my God-given self. I’ve learned that abuse teaches us to leave ourselves, and we often do, just so we can survive. Which is why it is some of the most sacred work of my life to, by the grace of God, choose to stay instead. 
.
And so that is how I’m entering this year: tenaciously committed to the life + self God has given me, to the people around me, to the work that is a privilege to do. To, as the prophet Micah once wrote, “act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
.
Thanks to each of you who have been here, who have supported my work, who have spoken life into me. I do not take it lightly. Grateful. xx
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
.
Pink shirt in 1st photo is from @treetopscollective (check out their important work on behalf of refugees in the Grand Rapids, MI. Also, this isn’t an ad, I just love their work :)
Leaving this here to mark the fact that I just tur Leaving this here to mark the fact that I just turned in my 3rd full length manuscript 😭🕯️. Y’all. i. AM. tIRed.
I cannot wait to share about this book with you in the coming year, but what I can say—is something I used to tell myself when I played a whole lot of basketball: “I’m leaving it all on the floor.” Whew. Happy Friday, my dears. (And now to rest)🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #authorsofinstagram
It’s for you, if you need it.✌🏻#TakeWhatYouNeed # It’s for you, if you need it.✌🏻#TakeWhatYouNeed 
#TrySofter #StronglikeWater #LoveNotesToMyNervousSystem
This is an evergreen message, but it’s perhaps esp This is an evergreen message, but it’s perhaps especially timely as we navigate this cultural moment. Compassion is soft, but it doesn’t fold. 🌿
#BelieveSurvivors #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2026 Aundi Kolber · Design by Bethany Ruth

    all fields required

    Would you like to subscribe to Aundi's email updates?
    YesNo