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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

March 24, 2015 ·

Because Winter Always Ends

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Have you ever walked through a time of your life that seemed to never end? The times you were certain it wouldn’t change or get better? 

I’m willing to bet those moments aren’t the highlights of your life. Not the day you won the award, got married, or vacationed at the beach; no, those always seem to go too fast. Usually it’s the difficult times, the one’s where we are stretched thin across our life. Those are the days that last a lifetime. 

But as I’ve worked to stay with my theme word for the year of “notice,” I’ve watched new life fight to push its way through the mud and dirt in our yard. The tiniest leaves popping up from underneath the dark ground. Like it was asking me “Have you noticed? After every single winter comes spring.” 

I’m a big fan of consistency, and I love how seasons never fail to change. And while this is an analogy that is used a lot, there is value in sitting in the simple truth that seasons will continue to change.

***

As we say goodbye to another season, I can’t help but think winter is a beautiful time. So much stillness and pause; it feels like nature is taking a breath and breaking after all the hard work of spring, summer, and fall. Winter also causes me to think of times or seasons in our life when things don’t seem to be growing, changing, or becoming what we hope they will be. It tends to connect with grief and longing and what we experience as we wait for new life to grow again. But then, just when it feels like the season will never end, it does.

And in comes spring. 

Almost like an expected visitor you gave up on, she arrives. It’s useful to notice that when spring comes, nature doesn’t auto correct itself into the new season. Winter often lingers while spring is settling in– nature ever so slowly responds to the change in weather. 

We’re like that, too. Life adjusts and we finally begin to catch up with the change, stunned that it finally happened. There is wisdom in our ability to breathe and allow seasons to blow in and out. But what gives us this groundedness? What allows us to know that it will change and yet not be crushed by the weight of it? 

The writer of Ecclesiastes chews on these same ideas here:

“For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build up,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.”

— Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

The truth is, we don’t know exactly what each season will hold; whether tears, laughter, goodbyes or beauty. But in this uncertainty, it is a gift to remember that as we hold fast, we also are held by the only one who cannot be shaken by our seasons.

Jesus is so very dependable and stable in our change. Dear reader, He is the very best thing. As we learn to be flexible and adaptable while life continues to toss us about, we can lean into the one who gives us roots in every season. Join me there?

Updated 4/12/16

 

I’ve linked up this week over at: Intentionally Pursuing the Heart of God, Simplified Life, Redemption Diaries, 3D Lessons for Life ,Purposeful Faith, Suzanne Eller, 152 Insights to My Soul, Jennifer Dukes Lee and Holly Gerth.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Katie Reid says

    March 24, 2015 at 6:20 pm

    Lovely post. Stopping by from the #RaRaLinkup. Looking forward to the new life of Spring!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 25, 2015 at 12:54 pm

      Thanks so much…Glad you stopped by!

  2. Crystal Storms says

    March 24, 2015 at 7:31 pm

    They say (though I’m not sure who "they" are) people have two basic fears … things will change and things will never change. Though time lingers and the waiting seems long, things always change.

    "Almost like an expected visitor you gave up on, she arrives." – beautiful reminder, Aundi, that helps me to hold on in the waiting. Thank you for sharing your encouraging words at #IntentionalTuesday

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 25, 2015 at 12:52 pm

      Oh I love that quote, Crystal. Yes, I do believe those fears are at the core of many things. I am so glad this post encouraged you. I think we all need the reminder sometimes, I love that God is so faithful in using the season to remind us of His faithfulness. As always, thank you so much for reading.

  3. Kristi Woods says

    March 25, 2015 at 2:53 am

    "He is the very best thing." Yes, indeed. He is the very best. You have such a gentle way of painting season changes. It’s simply beautiful, as is your photography. Visiting you today via #IntentionalTuesday.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 25, 2015 at 12:51 pm

      Kristi, thanks so much for these words, they are beautiful encouragement to me. Also, I wish I could take credit for the photography, but I get a lot of my pictures from freely photos. They are a great resource. Best to you!

  4. Mindy Whipple says

    March 25, 2015 at 10:11 pm

    Life, as the seasons, is ever changing. So thankful God is unchanging and that He hold my future no matter what the new season will bring. Visiting today from Three Word Wednesday.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 26, 2015 at 2:46 pm

      Amen, Mindy. Thanks for popping in to say hi.

  5. Kristin Hill Taylor says

    March 26, 2015 at 1:13 pm

    I absolutely love the parallels of nature’s seasons to the spiritual seasons of our lives. The way they’re intertwined never ceases to amaze me. I’m so grateful spring always comes, regardless of how long winter seems. I’m glad you linked up at #ThreeWordWednesday.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 26, 2015 at 2:47 pm

      I agree, I am grateful that God allows us to see the tangible things so we can better understand the intangible. Thanks for having me at #ThreeWordWednesday and for reading!

  6. Christine Duncan says

    March 26, 2015 at 7:21 pm

    Held by the One who will not be shaken by our seasons… thank you, Lord! So glad I got a chance to visit your beautiful blog, Andrea, I’ll be taking your words with me through the rest of the day!!!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 27, 2015 at 12:29 am

      I’m so glad this post encouraged you, Christine. Thanks for saying hello!

It was such an honor to write this blog for @annvo It was such an honor to write this blog for @annvoskamp, but also…whew, it was a tender one to share. It seems this is often the way of healing.🫶🏻 
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It’s been just over 3 months since “Take What You Need” released and it’s been a sacred joy to hear from so many of you that you have felt seen + witnessed in those pages. In these times that are filled with much disconnection, fear, and frozenness—I pray we can have access to the groundedness we need to love our neighbor *as* ourselves. May we all have what we need to access the deep God-given wisdom available to us. Selah.
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I’d be honored if you’d consider reading the whole blog over at annvoskamp.com (link in my stories) & and if you haven’t already—pick up a copy of “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days” (link in profile) 🌿
It was such a privilege to preach at @christchurch It was such a privilege to preach at @christchurch.us this last Sunday about what it means that we are Held by God in our pain + how that can empower us to try softer. Especially knowing what a tender + at times complex holiday Mother’s Day can be—it felt especially meaningful to offer this message. 
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And, it was a special bonus to be invited by our dear friend @steveryancarter + to spend time with the lovely @heysarahcarter, too. So much goodness. Thanks for the incredible hospitality, @christchurch.us! 🫶🏻
#trysofter #takewhatyouneed #stronglikewater
Hello, my dears…it has been a long while since I Hello, my dears…it has been a long while since I’ve been here and I’m peeking my head in to say hi. I’ve been taking some extended time off of social media and it’s has been helpful, needed, and clarifying—though I miss connecting with you all here.
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A few months ago, I shared that I’m troubled by much of IG’s current framework (more on that in stories.) Sooo I’m working to change how I show up here and I think some of that will mean that parts of my public work will be other places. I don’t have all of it figured out yet, but I hope you’ll stay tuned and I will be sure to share more as I have it available. Either way, thanks for being here. I hope you’re taking care of yourself, using your voice and influence in the ways that you’re able. May we all have what we need to heal anyway. 🫶🏻
#TrySofter #TakeWhatYouNeed #HealAnyway #StronglikeWater
Thinking about this as we end the week: It can be Thinking about this as we end the week: It can be so disorienting and disturbing when you’ve experienced abuse or oppression that is targeted at making you question your reality.
🌿
So frequently in this kind of situation we learn to mistrust ourselves as a way to make sense of what is happening; even if our perceptions are indeed accurate. 
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Often, at least part of the repair to this kind of experience starts with being fully seen & validated in the presence of someone else’s compassionate, attuned attention. This safety allows us to rebuild our internal templates— at whatever pace we’re able—so that we can ultimately come to believe ourselves (again or for the first time) & and live more and more from our true God-given self. #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
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Need more resources + insight? Follow along at @aundikolber or check out my books, “Try Softer,” “Strong like Water,” and “Take What You Need” (links in profile 💛)
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*alt text in post*
Today is Ash Wednesday in the Christian tradition, Today is Ash Wednesday in the Christian tradition, and though there are many different significant insights from this day and the whole Lenten season—one important element I’m thinking about today is this: 
We are not machines. 
We are not objects. 
We are not check lists.
We are not commodities. 
We are not projects. 
We are not drive through windows.
We are not trash receptacles. 
We are fragile, resilient, and oh, so, Beloved humans that will someday be dust. But even then, we will be sacred dust.
🌿
In a time where dehumanizing rhetoric seems to rule the day, particularly towards those who have already been the most marginalized—may our finite humanity be an invitation to remember how we want to live & move in the world. #TrySofter #CompassionateAttention #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
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*alt text included in post*
So much of trauma takes away choice, and so it mat So much of trauma takes away choice, and so it matters deeply that the language we use in healing reflects empowerment and repair.
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Through the years, I have worked to find words that help translate an invitational, survivor centered, trauma informed ethos into language. I am certainly not perfect, and in many ways that’s the point, isn’t it? All of us are in process and I think that—as we are able—staying connected to that humility allows us to stay open to growing & working toward loving our neighbor *as* ourselves.
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Tonight I was thinking about the many phrases that have reminded me of this open posture—and I was inspired to write down a few. (I have loved seeing this poetry format floating around the internet—kuddos to the originator 🙏🏻)
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📙Needing more resources & insight? I’d be honored if you check out my newest offering that released just two weeks ago: “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days” (link in profile 🌻) #TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater
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*Alt text included in post*
Today is my 42nd birthday—and I’ll tell you wh Today is my 42nd birthday—and I’ll tell you what, I feel deeply grateful to be alive. What a privilege it is to grow older. This last year was hard in ways I haven’t been able to fully share, but I think someday I will. But here’s what I noticed in myself this last year: more so than ever before I have learned to trust the voice God has given me & the wisdom placed within me.
🌿
A significant portion of the trauma & particularly narcissistic abuse I experienced in my life has been targeted at causing me to disbelieve my own reality, experience, strength, and integrity. It caused me so much suffering not to know if I could believe myself. It has been the hardest work of my life to choose—again and again—to be on my own damn team. To know God is already waiting for me to see how loved I am; to see the people who choose me; to see the Goodness already present around me; to embody what I have devoted my life to teaching, speaking, and writing about.
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Thank you for being here; my heart is full. #TrySofter #TakeWhatYouNeed #StronglikeWater #cptsd #narcissticabuse #healanyway
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