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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

March 24, 2015 ·

Because Winter Always Ends

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Have you ever walked through a time of your life that seemed to never end? The times you were certain it wouldn’t change or get better? 

I’m willing to bet those moments aren’t the highlights of your life. Not the day you won the award, got married, or vacationed at the beach; no, those always seem to go too fast. Usually it’s the difficult times, the one’s where we are stretched thin across our life. Those are the days that last a lifetime. 

But as I’ve worked to stay with my theme word for the year of “notice,” I’ve watched new life fight to push its way through the mud and dirt in our yard. The tiniest leaves popping up from underneath the dark ground. Like it was asking me “Have you noticed? After every single winter comes spring.” 

I’m a big fan of consistency, and I love how seasons never fail to change. And while this is an analogy that is used a lot, there is value in sitting in the simple truth that seasons will continue to change.

***

As we say goodbye to another season, I can’t help but think winter is a beautiful time. So much stillness and pause; it feels like nature is taking a breath and breaking after all the hard work of spring, summer, and fall. Winter also causes me to think of times or seasons in our life when things don’t seem to be growing, changing, or becoming what we hope they will be. It tends to connect with grief and longing and what we experience as we wait for new life to grow again. But then, just when it feels like the season will never end, it does.

And in comes spring. 

Almost like an expected visitor you gave up on, she arrives. It’s useful to notice that when spring comes, nature doesn’t auto correct itself into the new season. Winter often lingers while spring is settling in– nature ever so slowly responds to the change in weather. 

We’re like that, too. Life adjusts and we finally begin to catch up with the change, stunned that it finally happened. There is wisdom in our ability to breathe and allow seasons to blow in and out. But what gives us this groundedness? What allows us to know that it will change and yet not be crushed by the weight of it? 

The writer of Ecclesiastes chews on these same ideas here:

“For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build up,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.”

— Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

The truth is, we don’t know exactly what each season will hold; whether tears, laughter, goodbyes or beauty. But in this uncertainty, it is a gift to remember that as we hold fast, we also are held by the only one who cannot be shaken by our seasons.

Jesus is so very dependable and stable in our change. Dear reader, He is the very best thing. As we learn to be flexible and adaptable while life continues to toss us about, we can lean into the one who gives us roots in every season. Join me there?

Updated 4/12/16

 

I’ve linked up this week over at: Intentionally Pursuing the Heart of God, Simplified Life, Redemption Diaries, 3D Lessons for Life ,Purposeful Faith, Suzanne Eller, 152 Insights to My Soul, Jennifer Dukes Lee and Holly Gerth.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Katie Reid says

    March 24, 2015 at 6:20 pm

    Lovely post. Stopping by from the #RaRaLinkup. Looking forward to the new life of Spring!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 25, 2015 at 12:54 pm

      Thanks so much…Glad you stopped by!

  2. Crystal Storms says

    March 24, 2015 at 7:31 pm

    They say (though I’m not sure who "they" are) people have two basic fears … things will change and things will never change. Though time lingers and the waiting seems long, things always change.

    "Almost like an expected visitor you gave up on, she arrives." – beautiful reminder, Aundi, that helps me to hold on in the waiting. Thank you for sharing your encouraging words at #IntentionalTuesday

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 25, 2015 at 12:52 pm

      Oh I love that quote, Crystal. Yes, I do believe those fears are at the core of many things. I am so glad this post encouraged you. I think we all need the reminder sometimes, I love that God is so faithful in using the season to remind us of His faithfulness. As always, thank you so much for reading.

  3. Kristi Woods says

    March 25, 2015 at 2:53 am

    "He is the very best thing." Yes, indeed. He is the very best. You have such a gentle way of painting season changes. It’s simply beautiful, as is your photography. Visiting you today via #IntentionalTuesday.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 25, 2015 at 12:51 pm

      Kristi, thanks so much for these words, they are beautiful encouragement to me. Also, I wish I could take credit for the photography, but I get a lot of my pictures from freely photos. They are a great resource. Best to you!

  4. Mindy Whipple says

    March 25, 2015 at 10:11 pm

    Life, as the seasons, is ever changing. So thankful God is unchanging and that He hold my future no matter what the new season will bring. Visiting today from Three Word Wednesday.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 26, 2015 at 2:46 pm

      Amen, Mindy. Thanks for popping in to say hi.

  5. Kristin Hill Taylor says

    March 26, 2015 at 1:13 pm

    I absolutely love the parallels of nature’s seasons to the spiritual seasons of our lives. The way they’re intertwined never ceases to amaze me. I’m so grateful spring always comes, regardless of how long winter seems. I’m glad you linked up at #ThreeWordWednesday.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 26, 2015 at 2:47 pm

      I agree, I am grateful that God allows us to see the tangible things so we can better understand the intangible. Thanks for having me at #ThreeWordWednesday and for reading!

  6. Christine Duncan says

    March 26, 2015 at 7:21 pm

    Held by the One who will not be shaken by our seasons… thank you, Lord! So glad I got a chance to visit your beautiful blog, Andrea, I’ll be taking your words with me through the rest of the day!!!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      March 27, 2015 at 12:29 am

      I’m so glad this post encouraged you, Christine. Thanks for saying hello!

It’s really hard to experience God as safe when yo It’s really hard to experience God as safe when you’re taught theology that defends abusers and abandons the abused.
🌿
May there be a repair for every untruth that has facilitated your harm.
🌿
May your healing come. 🙏
(As always take what you need). #StayWithYourself 
#TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #religioustrauma survivor-centered trauma-informed
Being able to name our experience is so helpful & Being able to name our experience is so helpful & important, but with the fawn response—it can start to feel suffocating to know about what we’re experiencing and feel like we can’t change it. 
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And yet, we can learn to work “with” our fawn response; living from our Center instead of survival. #staywithyourself #trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd
If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what y If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what you need to stay with yourself.🕯️#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #LoveyourneighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
.
Fawn, fawn response, cPTSD, healing, nervous system, religious trauma, attachment trauma, alignment, faith and mental health
A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat o A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat on the release of his newest offering, “Who You’re Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age.” This is a phenomenally timely book, written by someone who works to embody what he writes. I was honored to endorse it. Here’s what I said:
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“In the midst of our unmoored, image obsessed culture, Dr. Chuck DeGroat offers us the grounding wisdom we so often forget: God is with us as we become ourselves. With kindness and deft insight, DeGroat leads us through the practical, courageous, and often slow work required to cultivate maturity and true character. In so doing, Who You’re Becoming serves as a powerful and needed guide for anyone wanting to go beyond a try-hard faith or mere surface level change—so they can deepen into their truest, beloved selves.”
Aundi Kolber MA, LPC
Therapist & Author of Try Softer and Strong like Water
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Congrats, Chuck! You can find “Who You’re Becoming” wherever books are sold (link in stories or check out an excerpt on my substack today—also in stories 🎉)
#WhoYoureBecoming
There can be so much valid grief that comes from l There can be so much valid grief that comes from losing relationships while you heal.*
🍁 
But if you have to choose between keeping a relationship & keeping you—l hope you choose you.
🍁
God does not abandon you, & you don’t have to abandon yourself either. Selah. 
(As always, take what you need 🕯️)
#StayWithYourself #Fawning #TrySofter #Cptsd #narcissticabuse 
🍁
Need more resources & insight? You can pre-order my newest offering, “Stay With Yourself,” that addresses exactly these issues (link in profile).
🍁
*For example, from setting healthy boundaries, advocating for yourself, or being unwilling to participate in toxic dynamics.
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 Boundaries | embodied boundaries | interpersonal trauma | relationships | self compassion | integrating faith and mental health
Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emo Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emotions around injustice or harm一but rather so we can access the clarity to live in alignment even amidst intensity.
🌿 
And so may you find Ground that holds you steady.
#StayWithYourself #StronglikeWater #TrySofter #regulation #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨ #StayWithYourself #Try May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #HealAnyway #TakeWhatYouNee
.

Fawn | trauma | trauma resolution | cPTSD | religious trauma | nervous system | attachment trauma | complex trauma | grief | faith and mental health | self compassion | compassionate attention
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