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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

August 18, 2015 ·

For the Love Series {Book Launch and A Giveaway}

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For months now, I’ve been trying to figure out my favorite part of Jen Hatmaker’s new book, “For the Love.” It’s been nearly 6 months since I was asked to be on the launch team and it feels like a whirlwind experience. Part of the reason is because I’ve had the opportunity to be part of an amazing community we call the #500. I blogged about the experience here and I continue to be amazed by it. 

And then, after I read the book (the first time) I wrote this post regarding healthy boundaries and saying ‘no.’  This is what Jen refers to as having a “balanced beam.” And that general theme is still pretty high up on my favs list. But the truth is, as of this moment I’m still trying to figure out exactly what I love the most. It’s not that there aren’t exceptional parts (there are).

It’s that there are so many.

But because today is launch day and I believe this book is fabulous, I’m going to give my favorite pieces a shot.

**

As a counselor, I have a particular propensity to listen closely when a Christian leader discusses principles around self-care, boundaries, parenting and relationships. This is because there’s a whole heap of terrible advice out there. We hear suggestions like: Be better, ignore it, try harder, pray exactly this way, or even buy this one thing and your life will be perfect. 

Hogwash.

Or, as Jen would say, “Horsecrappery.” 

These thoughts are usually well-intentioned, but they frequently come from a place of ignorance, privilege, and poor theology. Additionally, I think they add to the well of shame that so many of us can get stuck in. Most importantly, these little gems are lacking because they focus on our own actions versus the ultimate life giver of change and perspective.

 Photo Credit: Bethany Beams

Photo Credit: Bethany Beams

We all have a responsibility in our actions and life, but unless we recognize our need to weave grace into every nook and cranny of our existence, our actions will fall flat.

This is what Jen does so well in “For the Love,” she models this fragrant grace that we all so desperately want and need. She proposes that we can’t go wrong with integrating love and grace in all things. 

We can’t love God too much, or people, or kiddos, or our spouses, our churches or even ourselves. It’s always a win to love well.

True life giving love is the result of who we become as Christians. And, when we know Jesus, it’s as if we have access to the well that doesn’t run dry.

Sure, there can be particular ways to love each other well, but we never succeed by throwing in a heaping dose of judgment or control or worry.

Jen says it so well here:

“God measures our entire existence by only two things: How we love Him and how we love people. If you get this right, you can get a million other things wrong “ (pg 66).

And so dear readers, may I just say to you, this book is worth your time. Jen weaves in her love of Jesus within her love of people in each and every page. Sometimes you’ll snort as she discusses why leggings aren’t pants and sometimes you’ll bawl when she talks about the way she loves her kiddos, but you’ll know she is with you and for you. 


Interested in reading “For the Love”? Leave me a comment and tell me why you’d like to read it or sign up for my email list (for 2 entries)! I’ll pick a winner by Friday, August 21st. Check back here on Friday to see who won! 

 

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Previous Post: « When You Choose to Breathe {You May Find Life}
Next Post: Hurts So Good {On Learning to Stay With It} »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Ashley Scott says

    August 18, 2015 at 7:44 pm

    Such an elegant post. You have such a rational and loving way of tying our Christian walk to real life. I am not the biggest Jen fan, but I’d love for this book to be the one that changes my opinion…and I’m a huge Aundi fan, so if you like it this much I probably will too!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      August 19, 2015 at 6:22 pm

      Ashley, you are so gracious! Thank you friend for your kind words and I do believe this book could make you a Jen fan.

      • Andrea Kolber says

        August 22, 2015 at 1:12 pm

        Ashley, congrats on winning the book giveaway!

  2. Kelly Ivey Johnson says

    August 18, 2015 at 11:15 pm

    LOVE your post and love your writing, as usual. Don’t enter me in the contest, as I already own 10 and I’m also trying to give them away :-), but just wanted you to know that I think you nailed it! See you soon!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      August 19, 2015 at 6:22 pm

      You are such an encouragement to me Kelly! It has been a pleasure to be on the launch team with you!

  3. Rebecca Katzer says

    August 19, 2015 at 5:24 am

    "We all have a responsibility in our actions and life, but unless we recognize our need to weave grace into every nook and cranny of our existence, our actions will fall flat."

    I needed this today. Thanks, friend.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      August 19, 2015 at 6:23 pm

      You are so very welcome. Thank you for reading and saying hello!

May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
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*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
Take What You Need // However this weekend finds y Take What You Need // However this weekend finds you, I hope you feel loved. 🫶🏻 #MothersDay #TrySofter #Cptsd #infertility #beloved
Learning to believe your own experience is a vital Learning to believe your own experience is a vital part of healing from relational trauma, especially experiences like narcissistic abuse. For survivors, it’s often been safer to discount your internal world than it is to believe yourself. And this makes sense, because we were wired for connection. But connection was never meant to be a weapon and it’s only when we start to be grounded in reality that we can untangle love or friendship from harm. 
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As we begin to have to have capacity to honor the truth of our experience, we develop the inner trust to live more and more in alignment. May it be so.
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If it feels like a resource, this practice is for you. #takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #cptsd
Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, greetings to you Maycemeber); but I have found myself full up. I have been full with a whole bunch of goodness; good work, but also intensity. Projects and commitments that require a me that is grounded, resourced, & clear. It’s often in those times that I especially remember we are invited to do the gentle & fierce work of keeping our eyes out for goodness. Even the smallest bits matter. What a paradox; its goodness & beauty & connection that help fuel us to meet the difficult demands of being a human. And particularly as a trauma survivor, I am reminded that I, that each of us, get to participate in our own repair. What sacred work. 
🌿
If it feels like a resource, I’ll leave you with this:
🌿
May mercy and goodness ground you in your body, your relationships, and in your place. Made the co-regulating love of the God of the universe be in, above, and around you. May it lead you Home again + again.
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Thank you to @benrector for a fabulous concert. Grateful for my writing pal @ashlee_eiland & her amazing staff at Living Stones for being a wonderful & attentive audience today. Big love & gratitude to a husband (@bckolber) + kiddos who light up with joy alongside me, and thank you to @stewartdantec for sharing the fabulous James Baldwin quote.
Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving p Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving pain. Coming to honor the truth of our experience is not an indication of our weakness but a move toward deeper integration.🕯️
Sending love. #trysofter #fawn #beloved #stronglikewater #cptsd
Good morning 🌿 Take what you need.🙏 . Inhale: My Good morning 🌿 
Take what you need.🙏
.
Inhale: My work is not to prove myself
Exhale: It’s to be myself 
#beloved #trysofter #compassionateattention #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻 #trysofter #lovenotest For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻
#trysofter #lovenotestomynervoussystem #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #takewhatyouneed
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