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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

January 5, 2016 ·

My Life Giving Word of the Year

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Last January, for the first time ever, I chose a word as a theme. The word was notice.

Sort of a simple one, it seems. But for me, it was unbelievably refreshing. (You can read more about it here.) I’ve been grateful for this #OneWord prompt because it was a constant reminder. Instead of my instinct, which cries: “Work harder! Be more productive! Go quicker!” Notice was like an anchor, it simply whispered—be here. Pay attention. Look around; grace abounds right where you are.

And so I did.

At times, I fought to notice. Sometimes I would totally forget about it, but always it called me back. No pressure, Aundi, just notice the details. Don’t miss them, this is your life and it’s happening.

Am I done yet? As in, did this cure me of a heart that is perpetually leaning toward striving?

Not by a long shot.

I think I could have the word notice tattooed on my arm and it would still be helpful, but I think it’s served it’s purpose for now.

And so, we move on to 2016. With great hope and expectation we look forward to this new year. After many internal dialogues and prayer, here is where I stand: 

Celebrate.

You see, if last year was a call to stay in the moment, then this year is a call to see the goodness in the moments and to make much of them. It also strikes me as requiring incredible courage to celebrate when life is hard or scary or difficult.

And if I’m honest, 2015 had some very difficult moments. I’m certain 2016 will too.

But I have become unwilling to sacrifice the beauty of moments for potential pain that may or may not come.

It’s easy to do, isn’t it? Avoiding joy so we can also avoid pain. It’s so tempting to idolize safety and control over honoring a moment. And yet, I am continually brought back to the value of celebration. In my most clear moments, this is what comes to me: I don’t think I’ll ever regret my joy over something in my life, even if it’s temporary. 

Will I grieve, when and if it leaves? Surely. 

But my pain would not be lessened if I had not celebrated. It may even be greater, for I may have to live with the reality that I didn’t value the full extent of it’s goodness. 

And so this year, as we go about the daily rituals of life, as we drink, and eat, and play and sing– I hope to celebrate the glimmers of joy that are tucked into each and every day.

I hope to push against my nature which naturally waits for the tough things to happen and instead plant a flag in my field of uncertainty. On the flag, here’s what it reads:

This moment is valuable. Stay with it. Hunt for the beauty. Celebrate it big.  

***

How about you? Have you chosen a word for the year?

 

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Previous Post: « The Standouts: My Top 5 Posts of 2015
Next Post: A Letter to Those Who Wait {Guest Post for the Glorious Table} »

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Comments

  1. Kelly Ivey Johnson says

    January 5, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    Love this, my friend! Let me share a scripture I discovered yesterday that fits beautifully with your word. I was reading the first chapter of Ephesians and playing with the different translations. In The Message translation, in verse 6, it says this in talking about God’s decision to make us His own: "He wanted us to enter into the celebration of His lavish gift-giving by the hand of His beloved Son."

    I haven’t been able to get the words "celebration of His lavish gift-giving" out of my mind ever since! And then this today. Anyway, I’m grateful for your words and happy to join you in this celebration!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      January 7, 2016 at 3:15 pm

      What a timely scripture, Kelly! Thank you so much for sharing it with me. I will tuck it into my heart this year as I lean into celebration. Grateful for you!

  2. Andrea Kolber says

    January 7, 2016 at 3:15 pm

    What a timely scripture, Kelly! Thank you so much for sharing it with me. I will tuck it into my heart this year as I lean into celebration. Grateful for you!

  3. Kelly Smith says

    January 14, 2016 at 11:11 am

    I really, really love this! This line here: "But my pain would not be lessened if I had not celebrated. It may even be greater, for I may have to live with the reality that I didn’t value the full extent of its goodness." I read this post several days ago and this concept stuck with me. Celebrating all of the moments, even the short-lived ones, is a beautiful offering of gratitude. Thank you for sharing your wisdom! And thank you for linking up! #FridayFive

    • Andrea Kolber says

      January 17, 2016 at 10:14 pm

      Thank you so much for hosting and for stopping by!

Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
.
As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Oliver), helps capture truth in a way psychology struggles to fully articulate. The reality of what it feels like to thaw the pain we hold can be difficult to put words to, but this from Mary has been so meaningful to me:
🌿
“We shake with joy,
we shake with grief.
What a time they have, these two
housed as they are in the same body.”
-Mary Oliver, We Shake With Joy
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Sending love.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #traumaresolution #cptsd
Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profoun Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profound gratitude for our love and the life, God helping us, we’ve created. Sometimes, against all odds. 
🌿
But here we are, still choosing each other; choosing us. The goodness of God in the land of the living.
🌿
Thank you for all the ways you’ve helped me find home again, B. Happy anniversary, my love. @bckolber
#trysofter #stronglikewater
Not me geeking out because my words are on @insigh Not me geeking out because my words are on @insighttimer today (just kidding, I’m totally geeking out 🙃🥹)
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Fun fact, Insight Timer has been a huge resource in my personal work toward self-compassion and mindfulness, particularly practices with Sarah Blondin.
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Thanks @stephpoe1 & @hkoxhandler for making sure I didn’t miss it ✨🫶🏻✨
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And thanks @insighttimer for the shout out.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #insighttimer #cptsd #trauma
In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it co In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it cost you to know what you know.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹
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May your healing come.🌿
.
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #traumaresolution #cptsd
Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and I might add, that it’s not only in churches, but in non-profits, families, parachurch ministries, goverments, NGO’s, the publishing industry, and any systems where we don’t consciously and actively make it safe for survivors to speak up. 
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As Dr. Jennifer Freyd notes regarding institutional courage: “We must cherish the whistleblowers.” Indeed. 
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And to the survivors: I honor you. I’m sorry you’ve had to be so strong. ❤️‍🩹
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May you be surprised by the mystery of healing. 🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #healanyway #traumaresolution
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