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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

January 5, 2016 ·

My Life Giving Word of the Year

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Last January, for the first time ever, I chose a word as a theme. The word was notice.

Sort of a simple one, it seems. But for me, it was unbelievably refreshing. (You can read more about it here.) I’ve been grateful for this #OneWord prompt because it was a constant reminder. Instead of my instinct, which cries: “Work harder! Be more productive! Go quicker!” Notice was like an anchor, it simply whispered—be here. Pay attention. Look around; grace abounds right where you are.

And so I did.

At times, I fought to notice. Sometimes I would totally forget about it, but always it called me back. No pressure, Aundi, just notice the details. Don’t miss them, this is your life and it’s happening.

Am I done yet? As in, did this cure me of a heart that is perpetually leaning toward striving?

Not by a long shot.

I think I could have the word notice tattooed on my arm and it would still be helpful, but I think it’s served it’s purpose for now.

And so, we move on to 2016. With great hope and expectation we look forward to this new year. After many internal dialogues and prayer, here is where I stand: 

Celebrate.

You see, if last year was a call to stay in the moment, then this year is a call to see the goodness in the moments and to make much of them. It also strikes me as requiring incredible courage to celebrate when life is hard or scary or difficult.

And if I’m honest, 2015 had some very difficult moments. I’m certain 2016 will too.

But I have become unwilling to sacrifice the beauty of moments for potential pain that may or may not come.

It’s easy to do, isn’t it? Avoiding joy so we can also avoid pain. It’s so tempting to idolize safety and control over honoring a moment. And yet, I am continually brought back to the value of celebration. In my most clear moments, this is what comes to me: I don’t think I’ll ever regret my joy over something in my life, even if it’s temporary. 

Will I grieve, when and if it leaves? Surely. 

But my pain would not be lessened if I had not celebrated. It may even be greater, for I may have to live with the reality that I didn’t value the full extent of it’s goodness. 

And so this year, as we go about the daily rituals of life, as we drink, and eat, and play and sing– I hope to celebrate the glimmers of joy that are tucked into each and every day.

I hope to push against my nature which naturally waits for the tough things to happen and instead plant a flag in my field of uncertainty. On the flag, here’s what it reads:

This moment is valuable. Stay with it. Hunt for the beauty. Celebrate it big.  

***

How about you? Have you chosen a word for the year?

 

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Previous Post: « The Standouts: My Top 5 Posts of 2015
Next Post: A Letter to Those Who Wait {Guest Post for the Glorious Table} »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kelly Ivey Johnson says

    January 5, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    Love this, my friend! Let me share a scripture I discovered yesterday that fits beautifully with your word. I was reading the first chapter of Ephesians and playing with the different translations. In The Message translation, in verse 6, it says this in talking about God’s decision to make us His own: "He wanted us to enter into the celebration of His lavish gift-giving by the hand of His beloved Son."

    I haven’t been able to get the words "celebration of His lavish gift-giving" out of my mind ever since! And then this today. Anyway, I’m grateful for your words and happy to join you in this celebration!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      January 7, 2016 at 3:15 pm

      What a timely scripture, Kelly! Thank you so much for sharing it with me. I will tuck it into my heart this year as I lean into celebration. Grateful for you!

  2. Andrea Kolber says

    January 7, 2016 at 3:15 pm

    What a timely scripture, Kelly! Thank you so much for sharing it with me. I will tuck it into my heart this year as I lean into celebration. Grateful for you!

  3. Kelly Smith says

    January 14, 2016 at 11:11 am

    I really, really love this! This line here: "But my pain would not be lessened if I had not celebrated. It may even be greater, for I may have to live with the reality that I didn’t value the full extent of its goodness." I read this post several days ago and this concept stuck with me. Celebrating all of the moments, even the short-lived ones, is a beautiful offering of gratitude. Thank you for sharing your wisdom! And thank you for linking up! #FridayFive

    • Andrea Kolber says

      January 17, 2016 at 10:14 pm

      Thank you so much for hosting and for stopping by!

For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻 #trysofter #lovenotest For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻
#trysofter #lovenotestomynervoussystem #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #takewhatyouneed
For many years now, I’ve loved @dr.thema’s words t For many years now, I’ve loved @dr.thema’s words that remind us that when people get us; when we are seen—it matters. It can change our lives. For me, the most potent parts of @ccfwgr, feel like that. It was a full time, with so many brilliant, creative, and empathic folks in one place. In many ways it was a reparative space for parts of the shadow side of our industry, and I’m grateful for that and to have attended.
.
I certainly didn’t get nearly enough pictures with everyone I connected with (and I’m sorry for that!), but I’m wildly grateful for the time and space. Thank you @calvinuniversity and @ccfwgr 🫶🏻
Every time we show up for ourselves in the present Every time we show up for ourselves in the present, we’re also offering a bit of healing to our younger selves, too. May it be so.❤️‍🩹🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #healanyway #takewhatyouneed #cptsd
Today in the Christian tradition is Good Friday & Today in the Christian tradition is Good Friday & for trauma survivors in particular, I think of what it means that our God knows what it’s like to exist in a body; an abused body at that.
🌿
Jesus could have come in so many ways, but he chose to show us how deeply we are loved by joining us in our humanity.
🌿
I’m grateful to @marikoclark for sharing these words a few years ago from theologian James Cone—they’ve lived in my heal anyway folder & I return to them often: 
“There can be no Christian theology that is not identified unreservedly with those who are humiliated and abused. In fact, theology ceases to be a theology of the gospel when it fails to arise out of the community of the oppressed.”
-James Cone
🌿
Amen. 
🌿
Our God, with us. 
Much love this Easter season. 
#traumasurvivors #trysofter #cptsd #easter #stronglikewater
For every way trauma has cost you too much, I hono For every way trauma has cost you too much, I honor you. 🙏
🌿
May you find the relational safety you deserve.
May you find your voice in the ways you need.
May your healing come.❤️‍🩹
#trysofter #healanyway #cptsd #beloved #stronglikewater
Just checking in on a few things.✌🏻 As always, tak Just checking in on a few things.✌🏻
As always, take what you need.
.
Do any of these resonate for you? If so, I’d love to hear. ✨
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #compassionateresourcing
Good morning. Take what you need.🫶🏻 #trysofter #st Good morning. Take what you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
#embodiedboundaries #ItsOkayToSetItDown
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