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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

January 5, 2016 ·

My Life Giving Word of the Year

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Last January, for the first time ever, I chose a word as a theme. The word was notice.

Sort of a simple one, it seems. But for me, it was unbelievably refreshing. (You can read more about it here.) I’ve been grateful for this #OneWord prompt because it was a constant reminder. Instead of my instinct, which cries: “Work harder! Be more productive! Go quicker!” Notice was like an anchor, it simply whispered—be here. Pay attention. Look around; grace abounds right where you are.

And so I did.

At times, I fought to notice. Sometimes I would totally forget about it, but always it called me back. No pressure, Aundi, just notice the details. Don’t miss them, this is your life and it’s happening.

Am I done yet? As in, did this cure me of a heart that is perpetually leaning toward striving?

Not by a long shot.

I think I could have the word notice tattooed on my arm and it would still be helpful, but I think it’s served it’s purpose for now.

And so, we move on to 2016. With great hope and expectation we look forward to this new year. After many internal dialogues and prayer, here is where I stand: 

Celebrate.

You see, if last year was a call to stay in the moment, then this year is a call to see the goodness in the moments and to make much of them. It also strikes me as requiring incredible courage to celebrate when life is hard or scary or difficult.

And if I’m honest, 2015 had some very difficult moments. I’m certain 2016 will too.

But I have become unwilling to sacrifice the beauty of moments for potential pain that may or may not come.

It’s easy to do, isn’t it? Avoiding joy so we can also avoid pain. It’s so tempting to idolize safety and control over honoring a moment. And yet, I am continually brought back to the value of celebration. In my most clear moments, this is what comes to me: I don’t think I’ll ever regret my joy over something in my life, even if it’s temporary. 

Will I grieve, when and if it leaves? Surely. 

But my pain would not be lessened if I had not celebrated. It may even be greater, for I may have to live with the reality that I didn’t value the full extent of it’s goodness. 

And so this year, as we go about the daily rituals of life, as we drink, and eat, and play and sing– I hope to celebrate the glimmers of joy that are tucked into each and every day.

I hope to push against my nature which naturally waits for the tough things to happen and instead plant a flag in my field of uncertainty. On the flag, here’s what it reads:

This moment is valuable. Stay with it. Hunt for the beauty. Celebrate it big.  

***

How about you? Have you chosen a word for the year?

 

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Previous Post: « The Standouts: My Top 5 Posts of 2015
Next Post: A Letter to Those Who Wait {Guest Post for the Glorious Table} »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kelly Ivey Johnson says

    January 5, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    Love this, my friend! Let me share a scripture I discovered yesterday that fits beautifully with your word. I was reading the first chapter of Ephesians and playing with the different translations. In The Message translation, in verse 6, it says this in talking about God’s decision to make us His own: "He wanted us to enter into the celebration of His lavish gift-giving by the hand of His beloved Son."

    I haven’t been able to get the words "celebration of His lavish gift-giving" out of my mind ever since! And then this today. Anyway, I’m grateful for your words and happy to join you in this celebration!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      January 7, 2016 at 3:15 pm

      What a timely scripture, Kelly! Thank you so much for sharing it with me. I will tuck it into my heart this year as I lean into celebration. Grateful for you!

  2. Andrea Kolber says

    January 7, 2016 at 3:15 pm

    What a timely scripture, Kelly! Thank you so much for sharing it with me. I will tuck it into my heart this year as I lean into celebration. Grateful for you!

  3. Kelly Smith says

    January 14, 2016 at 11:11 am

    I really, really love this! This line here: "But my pain would not be lessened if I had not celebrated. It may even be greater, for I may have to live with the reality that I didn’t value the full extent of its goodness." I read this post several days ago and this concept stuck with me. Celebrating all of the moments, even the short-lived ones, is a beautiful offering of gratitude. Thank you for sharing your wisdom! And thank you for linking up! #FridayFive

    • Andrea Kolber says

      January 17, 2016 at 10:14 pm

      Thank you so much for hosting and for stopping by!

May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
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*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
Take What You Need // However this weekend finds y Take What You Need // However this weekend finds you, I hope you feel loved. 🫶🏻 #MothersDay #TrySofter #Cptsd #infertility #beloved
Learning to believe your own experience is a vital Learning to believe your own experience is a vital part of healing from relational trauma, especially experiences like narcissistic abuse. For survivors, it’s often been safer to discount your internal world than it is to believe yourself. And this makes sense, because we were wired for connection. But connection was never meant to be a weapon and it’s only when we start to be grounded in reality that we can untangle love or friendship from harm. 
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As we begin to have to have capacity to honor the truth of our experience, we develop the inner trust to live more and more in alignment. May it be so.
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If it feels like a resource, this practice is for you. #takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #cptsd
Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, greetings to you Maycemeber); but I have found myself full up. I have been full with a whole bunch of goodness; good work, but also intensity. Projects and commitments that require a me that is grounded, resourced, & clear. It’s often in those times that I especially remember we are invited to do the gentle & fierce work of keeping our eyes out for goodness. Even the smallest bits matter. What a paradox; its goodness & beauty & connection that help fuel us to meet the difficult demands of being a human. And particularly as a trauma survivor, I am reminded that I, that each of us, get to participate in our own repair. What sacred work. 
🌿
If it feels like a resource, I’ll leave you with this:
🌿
May mercy and goodness ground you in your body, your relationships, and in your place. Made the co-regulating love of the God of the universe be in, above, and around you. May it lead you Home again + again.
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Thank you to @benrector for a fabulous concert. Grateful for my writing pal @ashlee_eiland & her amazing staff at Living Stones for being a wonderful & attentive audience today. Big love & gratitude to a husband (@bckolber) + kiddos who light up with joy alongside me, and thank you to @stewartdantec for sharing the fabulous James Baldwin quote.
Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving p Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving pain. Coming to honor the truth of our experience is not an indication of our weakness but a move toward deeper integration.🕯️
Sending love. #trysofter #fawn #beloved #stronglikewater #cptsd
Good morning 🌿 Take what you need.🙏 . Inhale: My Good morning 🌿 
Take what you need.🙏
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Inhale: My work is not to prove myself
Exhale: It’s to be myself 
#beloved #trysofter #compassionateattention #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻 #trysofter #lovenotest For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻
#trysofter #lovenotestomynervoussystem #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #takewhatyouneed
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