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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

February 3, 2016 ·

In Defense of Self Care: What It Is and Why It Matters {Guest Post for The Glorious Table}

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I used to think self care was selfish.

If I’m honest, it was because I was jealous. As a classic overly responsible, perfectionistic overachiever, the thing I most longed for was the ability to say no and find rest.

And so, because I didn’t understand and couldn’t seem to manage my own self care, I was critical of it.

But then, like scales falling from my eyes, I began to see. It wasn’t until I took a serious look at my own unhealthy practices and dynamics that I realized how they were affecting my ability to live—and thrive—in the fullest way.

And then the epiphany came: self care is like breathing.

If we truly want to live, we don’t have a whole lot of choice on whether we do self care. In fact, the idea of rest is so vital that God caused it to be woven into our weekly rhythms.

 Photo courtesy of The Glorious Table 

Photo courtesy of The Glorious Table 

Honoring your body, soul, and spirit is not a luxury—it’s a requirement in order to be well. Unlike breathing, we can technically exist without self care—but it may mean we are resentful, angry, and exhausted.

How’s that for abundant life?

As a counselor, one of the primary skills I seek to teach every client is increased self-awareness and the ability to implement necessary self care.

What do I mean when I say self care? I mean practices that restore you to your truest and best self. These practices renew and revive.

So why does it matter so much?

Click here to keep reading over at The Glorious Table. 

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Previous Post: « A Letter to Those Who Wait {Guest Post for the Glorious Table}
Next Post: In the Meantime: Thoughts on Grieving Well »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Greer Oharah says

    February 3, 2016 at 11:40 pm

    Thanks so much for sharing this. I definitely tend towards feeling selfish when taking time for myself — I appreciate hearing this perspective.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 4, 2016 at 2:55 am

      I’m grateful you stopped in to comment, Greer. I agree, the misconception of self care can be damaging–to the point that we don’t practice it all. Thanks for saying hello.

Joining the chorus to honor an extraordinary woman Joining the chorus to honor an extraordinary woman. Thank you for your light and life, Dolly. #ripdolly
Happy Friday.✨✌🏻❤️ // Take What You Need #trysoft Happy Friday.✨✌🏻❤️ // Take What You Need 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #trauma #healanyway
It is my delight & honor to celebrate my dear frie It is my delight & honor to celebrate my dear friend, Dr. Alison Cook, as she releases her brand new book, “The Secure Soul: Finding Inner Strength and Connection When Trust Doesn’t Come Easy” (and the companion book too!🎉)
🌿
Dr. Cook, (or Alison, as I’ll call her now ;) is not only someone that I admire & respect professionally, but she has become a trusted real-life friend. Through this last several years, I’ve especially appreciated our kindship as we traverse the rewarding, interesting (and sometimes very complicated) world of being a public facing therapist, author, and speaker. 
🌿
Alison asked if I would be willing to endorse her newest offering, and it was a great privilege to do so, here’s what I said: 
🌿
Written in the impactful tradition of books like “Hinds Feet On High Places,” Dr. Alison Cook offers us a stunning parable about the sacred work of being human—and the God who meets us in the repair. ‘The Secure Soul’ is wildly timely and timeless; a tender, thoughtful, and moving read. This is a fabulous book for anyone engaging the holistic healing God invites us toward.’ 
—Aundi Kolber, MA, LPC
🌿
I truly believe “The Secure Soul” will be a balm to anyone who’s struggled to find safety & repair not only with God, not only with others, but with themselves too. You can read an excerpt on my Substack today (link in stories), or pick up the book anywhere books are sold (I’ll also have a link in stories).
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Congrats, Alison! So grateful for your deep work. 🏔️
#SecureSoul #EarnedSecureAttachment #TrySofter #Attachment #StronglikeWater
A few thoughts on finding your voice after harm & A few thoughts on finding your voice after harm & learning to befriend anger.✌🏻 
🌿
May there come a day when you do not fear the power of your God-given voice. And may every trauma survivor come to know their anger is a profound ally in their healing journey.
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*And yes, all the caveats that our anger never gives us a reason or justification for causing harm. Rather, healthy anger is used as fuel to help us mobilize an appropriate response of advocacy or protection when harm has occurred. #stronglikewater #trysofter #healanyway #cptsd #fawning
I’ve loved this trend so I thought I’d offer a few I’ve loved this trend so I thought I’d offer a few of my own (take what you need💛).
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Edited to add: I'm not sure what that weird line is in my first slide! It should read: "Kinda chic to become the person you needed when you were younger." :)
#trysofter #stronglikewater #fierceselfcompassion #beloved #cptsd
“No matter how beautiful it is.” 🌿 In the way & t “No matter how beautiful it is.” 🌿 
In the way & the pace you are able—may it be so. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #compassionateresourcing #internalizedsafety
Attachment trauma & wounding can have profound imp Attachment trauma & wounding can have profound implications—particularly because of the ways it causes us to feel isolated; like no one could ever be trusted. It’s important to say this is valid—our body often adapts in this way because of real harm we’ve experienced. Yet, as we are able, so much of healing work is about learning to keep our eyes open for repair, even as we honor, grieve, & integrate all we’ve lived through.
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I think that’s why this love note is always so meaningful to me, and if it feels like a resource—I offer it to you too. 🌿#trysofter #beloved #stronglikewater #healanyway #cptsd
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P.s. have you heard this @mumfordandsons song? The lyrics are literally “with my hand over your heart.” Let’s go.✨🫶🏻
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