• About Me
  • Videos
    • Try Softer Guided Journey Videos
    • Strong Like Water Guided Journey Videos
  • Books
    • Try Softer
    • The Try Softer Guided Journey
    • Strong like Water
    • Strong Like Water: Guided Journey
    • Take What You Need
  • Work with Me
  • Speaking & Consulting
  • Podcasts
  • Contact
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • RSS
    • Twitter
Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

February 3, 2016 ·

In Defense of Self Care: What It Is and Why It Matters {Guest Post for The Glorious Table}

Uncategorized

I used to think self care was selfish.

If I’m honest, it was because I was jealous. As a classic overly responsible, perfectionistic overachiever, the thing I most longed for was the ability to say no and find rest.

And so, because I didn’t understand and couldn’t seem to manage my own self care, I was critical of it.

But then, like scales falling from my eyes, I began to see. It wasn’t until I took a serious look at my own unhealthy practices and dynamics that I realized how they were affecting my ability to live—and thrive—in the fullest way.

And then the epiphany came: self care is like breathing.

If we truly want to live, we don’t have a whole lot of choice on whether we do self care. In fact, the idea of rest is so vital that God caused it to be woven into our weekly rhythms.

 Photo courtesy of The Glorious Table 

Photo courtesy of The Glorious Table 

Honoring your body, soul, and spirit is not a luxury—it’s a requirement in order to be well. Unlike breathing, we can technically exist without self care—but it may mean we are resentful, angry, and exhausted.

How’s that for abundant life?

As a counselor, one of the primary skills I seek to teach every client is increased self-awareness and the ability to implement necessary self care.

What do I mean when I say self care? I mean practices that restore you to your truest and best self. These practices renew and revive.

So why does it matter so much?

Click here to keep reading over at The Glorious Table. 

Share this:

  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
Previous Post: « A Letter to Those Who Wait {Guest Post for the Glorious Table}
Next Post: In the Meantime: Thoughts on Grieving Well »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Greer Oharah says

    February 3, 2016 at 11:40 pm

    Thanks so much for sharing this. I definitely tend towards feeling selfish when taking time for myself — I appreciate hearing this perspective.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      February 4, 2016 at 2:55 am

      I’m grateful you stopped in to comment, Greer. I agree, the misconception of self care can be damaging–to the point that we don’t practice it all. Thanks for saying hello.

May you reclaim your voice. May you find your ‘no May you reclaim your voice. 
May you find your ‘no.’
May your healing come🕯️
#trysofter #stronglikewater #narcissisticabuseawarenessday #cptsd #beloved 
.
We are so worthy of the return. #Beloved ✨🫶🏻 . . N We are so worthy of the return. #Beloved ✨🫶🏻
.
.
Needing more resources & insight? Check out my best selling books, including “Try Softer” which is $3.99 via Amazon kindle, Kobo, Google books, and all e-reader platforms right now (links in profile + stories)🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #loveyourneighborASYourself
Embodying A Mantra of Self Compassion // Take What Embodying A Mantra of Self Compassion //
Take What You Need 🌿
.
.
#trysofter #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #cptsd #beloved
Love Notes to My Nervous System (Take what you nee Love Notes to My Nervous System
(Take what you need 🌿)
.
.
*I’ve seen this quote going around but couldn’t track down the original author. If you know, please share—I’d love to credit them.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #narcissisticabuse #cptsd
Like many of you who’ve generously shared your sto Like many of you who’ve generously shared your story with me through the years, I’ve walked this brutal path of living through a life-altering smear campaign, too.
.
So if it feels like a resource, this is for you:❤️‍🩹
A Lament for a Smear Campaign 
.
(And other types of narcissistic abuse)
.
For the ways we have been slandered for telling the truth, 
.
We grieve. 
.
For the ways that reality has been contorted so we can no longer recognize it, 
.
We cry out. 
.
For the ways relationships were weaponized as part of the harm, 
.
We lament. 
.
For the ways those causing harm are celebrated, 
.
We dissent. 
.
For the bodies that were made to carry shame they do not own, 
.
We honor. 
.
For the ways you meet us in the valley of the shadow, O God—
.
We remember. 
.
Selah.
.
#HealAnyway #PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor #TrySofter #cptsd #narcissticabuse
I’ve been in a writing cave finishing edits for my I’ve been in a writing cave finishing edits for my latest manuscript (IYKYN)—and as I work on a particularly vulnerable and painful story, I am holding these words from the inimitable Henri Nouwen like a prayer: 
.
“When our wounds cease to be a source of shame and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.” 
.
May it be so. #trysofter #healanyway #stronglikewater #cptsd #woundedhealers
May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
.
*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2026 Aundi Kolber · Design by Bethany Ruth

    all fields required

    Would you like to subscribe to Aundi's email updates?
    YesNo