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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

September 13, 2016 ·

Defined by Our Focus {Not Our Lack}

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“The car goes where the eyes go.” -Garth Stein

Every once in awhile, I read a book and the words stick with me long after.  “The Art of Racing In the Rain” by Garth Stein was one of those books and the quote above is from that literary gem. If you haven’t read it, do yourself a favor and check it out.

The context of the above quote is regarding driving a race car and understanding that on a track, where a car goes at a ridiculously fast speed, the driver’s eyes will cause the car to go wherever their focus is. So if the driver’s eyes are on the guard rail they’ll probably crash there, but if they are on the next piece of track, then that’s where the car will go.

Guess which focus tends to be most helpful?

I often use the above analogy with clients and even in my own life, because the application of this principle goes far beyond the race track and keeping a car moving toward the best target. I believe there is much truth for us today.

We live in a fast paced, intense world where it is often easier to define yourself by who you are not, than who you actually are.

It takes work to find out what piece of “race track” you should be focusing on. There is often more support to model what NOT to do, than the inverse. 

Does this sound familiar? 

I am not that kind of person.

We are not that kind of family.

We are not that kind of church.

We are not that kind of country.

So who am I? Who are we?

This is not an easy question to answer. We don’t necessarily wake up one day and recognize exactly what is behind these questions or the answer to them. 

But here is what I do know: it is not effective to focus on what we are running away from in order to change who we are. 

So how do we move on from this? I believe one of the most essential lessons from this simple concept is to quiet our soul and search out what is/could be our focus.

And, oh, is it worth it.

It’s in this quiet place our Creator speaks to us and gives us the gift of purpose, belonging, and hope. I love how the author of Hebrews puts this idea of where to focus here: 

“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith…”

— Hebrews 12:2a, NASB 

The author of Hebrews is modeling for us this very idea. He’s saying you’re defined by your focus, not your lack. We are now defined by who Jesus is, not who we aren’t. 

And while Jesus is the big idea of the above verse, ultimately there’s a trickle down effect for other principles in life as well. Meaning, it’s always helpful to focus on the actual goal rather than the possible pitfalls.

So wherever you are in your life today, I pray you would have the courage to look up from your fears and focus on your calling. 


Post updated from archives. 

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Comments

  1. Pam Ecrement says

    September 14, 2016 at 1:23 am

    How very true and written so very well! Thanks for sharing this. It fits well with some of what I have been posting in a current series. Have a blessed day!

    • Andrea Kolber says

      September 16, 2016 at 3:32 pm

      Hi Pam! Thanks so much for your encouragement! I’ve enjoyed reading your blog too!

  2. Bethany Donham says

    September 14, 2016 at 1:47 pm

    This is so good I’ve read it twice! Thanks so much for sharing and for the very important reminder to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus.

    • Andrea Kolber says

      September 16, 2016 at 3:31 pm

      Thank you for your kind words and for reading, Bethany!

These are for you, if you’re feeling the weariness These are for you, if you’re feeling the weariness of these days or the reality of the pain in our world. May Compassion be a fuel that allows us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.💛
🌿
Which of these resonate with you today? As always, take what you need, and set down what doesn’t. 
🌿
Aaaaand, just one month late: Happy 1 year anniversary to “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days.” 🥳 I’m so proud and grateful for this little book. Thank you to each of you who’ve shared about it, left reviews, and reminded me why it’s mattered to you. I’m so honored. If you haven’t already, I’d love for you to check it out (link in stories and profile 🌻) @tyndalehouse 
.
(These affirmations aren’t from the book, but they were inspired by the spirit of it.)
#takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater
In our culture, tenderness is often viewed as a li In our culture, tenderness is often viewed as a liability, even and especially the tenderness we gain from healing. But the paradox is, the softness we gain is actually the source of some of our greatest strength. Selah. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #loveyourneighborasyourself
Healing work is not only about us, but make no mis Healing work is not only about us, but make no mistake — it must include us; it must include the relationship we have with ourselves. 
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At the pace you are able, may your healing come. 
#TrySofter #Stronglikewater #TakeWhatYouNeed #fawning #cptsd
I realize I’m breaking the rules of instagram by p I realize I’m breaking the rules of instagram by posting two selfies in a row, but today is my 43rd birthday so I’m gonna just do the thing. ✌🏻 I’ll say this, it was a hell of a year. I feel proud and grateful, and also, more than a little tired. Waking up to news of wars, widespread sexual abuse cover ups, and the weaponization of a faith I hold dear will do that to anyone paying attention. But also, something I’ve learned as a long term survivor of cPTSD, is how much it matters to hold onto my center; my God-given self. I’ve learned that abuse teaches us to leave ourselves, and we often do, just so we can survive. Which is why it is some of the most sacred work of my life to, by the grace of God, choose to stay instead. 
.
And so that is how I’m entering this year: tenaciously committed to the life + self God has given me, to the people around me, to the work that is a privilege to do. To, as the prophet Micah once wrote, “act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
.
Thanks to each of you who have been here, who have supported my work, who have spoken life into me. I do not take it lightly. Grateful. xx
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
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Pink shirt in 1st photo is from @treetopscollective (check out their important work on behalf of refugees in the Grand Rapids, MI. Also, this isn’t an ad, I just love their work :)
Leaving this here to mark the fact that I just tur Leaving this here to mark the fact that I just turned in my 3rd full length manuscript 😭🕯️. Y’all. i. AM. tIRed.
I cannot wait to share about this book with you in the coming year, but what I can say—is something I used to tell myself when I played a whole lot of basketball: “I’m leaving it all on the floor.” Whew. Happy Friday, my dears. (And now to rest)🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #authorsofinstagram
It’s for you, if you need it.✌🏻#TakeWhatYouNeed # It’s for you, if you need it.✌🏻#TakeWhatYouNeed 
#TrySofter #StronglikeWater #LoveNotesToMyNervousSystem
This is an evergreen message, but it’s perhaps esp This is an evergreen message, but it’s perhaps especially timely as we navigate this cultural moment. Compassion is soft, but it doesn’t fold. 🌿
#BelieveSurvivors #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
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