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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

January 5, 2015 ·

Leaning Into Hope

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I don’t know where you are coming from in your life right now, but I can tell you things have been getting real around here. As we dove into 2015, our family has had some big decisions to make and a lot of planning around what the year could look like.Typically, I enjoy this. I’m a bit of a ...
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December 30, 2014 ·

Reality Check

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Mommy, am I beautiful? She asked me after looking in the mirror with her 2 year old hands on her hips.That always snaps me right back into reality when I start to become critical of myself. Because whatever I model for her as I speak about and treat my body, this will likely be her view of herself, ...
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December 23, 2014 ·

In which I am laid down low…

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I love music and I love to sing, especially at this time of year. I have always found that the carols surrounding Jesus’ birth hold a lot of hope and mystery.This Christmas, there is one verse that has been a theme for me....A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoicesFor yonder breaks a new ...
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December 18, 2014 ·

Learning to Show Up

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A long time ago, it feels like another lifetime now, I played a whole lot of basketball. I was the tomboy girl who went and played every ‘pick up’ game I could find.  By 3rd grade, I had to sit my mom down and gently tell her I couldn’t do ballet anymore, I loved basketball too much. I loved ...
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December 16, 2014 ·

Sanity Is Underrated

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“It’s okay to say ‘no’ to unnecessary crazy”- UnknownWhen I read this quote, my heart gives a resounding 'yes.' I love the permission it gives us to value ourselves enough to say 'no' to the things that simply drain us.Our culture is really good at selling us all the reasons why we ...
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December 13, 2014 ·

So it begins

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Today I am choosing to lean into something that is difficult for me...that is to write this blog and be willing to share it. You see, for a long time now I have wanted to do this and have chosen not to because of fear and time and my own inner critic. But recently I have begun to realize the ...
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Some of you may know from my writing and speaking Some of you may know from my writing and speaking that in addition to being a trauma therapist, I am a long-term survivor of Narcissistic abuse and Complex PTSD. Today, I felt moved to share this reflection from a few years ago that I’ve adapted a bit as I’ve continued in my own work (and I’ll be sharing more layers of my story & the complexity involved with it in my upcoming book.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️‍🔥)
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But for now: if this is part of your story too, I honor that in the same way the wounding is complicated, so, too, can the healing be. There is no shame there. The repair must match the rupture.❤️‍🩹 And yet, even if healing is complicated—you are so worthy of it. Sending love. #cptsd #narcissticabuse #trysofter #stronglikewater #grief
Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve learned to leave yourself to survive—the return can be terrifying and yet deeply satisfying all at the same time. May you experience repair in every way you need. 
// As always take what you need.
#Beloved #TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #fawning
Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been h Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been here. Sometimes my body & spirit tell me it’s time to take a longer break, and though I care deeply about this work—practicing what I preach matters to me even more. I’m not quite ready to enter back in more regularly, but until then, I thought I’d leave a few things I’ve been chewing on. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear. 🌿 (As always, take what you need)
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And may you, in the way and the pace you’re able—have access to the rest you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborASyourself #cptsd
Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶 Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶🏻#PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborasyourself
Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Oliver), helps capture truth in a way psychology struggles to fully articulate. The reality of what it feels like to thaw the pain we hold can be difficult to put words to, but this from Mary has been so meaningful to me:
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“We shake with joy,
we shake with grief.
What a time they have, these two
housed as they are in the same body.”
-Mary Oliver, We Shake With Joy
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Sending love.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #traumaresolution #cptsd
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