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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

January 5, 2015 ·

Leaning Into Hope

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I don’t know where you are coming from in your life right now, but I can tell you things have been getting real around here. As we dove into 2015, our family has had some big decisions to make and a lot of planning around what the year could look like.Typically, I enjoy this. I’m a bit of a ...
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December 30, 2014 ·

Reality Check

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Mommy, am I beautiful? She asked me after looking in the mirror with her 2 year old hands on her hips.That always snaps me right back into reality when I start to become critical of myself. Because whatever I model for her as I speak about and treat my body, this will likely be her view of herself, ...
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December 23, 2014 ·

In which I am laid down low…

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I love music and I love to sing, especially at this time of year. I have always found that the carols surrounding Jesus’ birth hold a lot of hope and mystery.This Christmas, there is one verse that has been a theme for me....A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoicesFor yonder breaks a new ...
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December 18, 2014 ·

Learning to Show Up

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A long time ago, it feels like another lifetime now, I played a whole lot of basketball. I was the tomboy girl who went and played every ‘pick up’ game I could find.  By 3rd grade, I had to sit my mom down and gently tell her I couldn’t do ballet anymore, I loved basketball too much. I loved ...
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December 16, 2014 ·

Sanity Is Underrated

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“It’s okay to say ‘no’ to unnecessary crazy”- UnknownWhen I read this quote, my heart gives a resounding 'yes.' I love the permission it gives us to value ourselves enough to say 'no' to the things that simply drain us.Our culture is really good at selling us all the reasons why we ...
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December 13, 2014 ·

So it begins

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Today I am choosing to lean into something that is difficult for me...that is to write this blog and be willing to share it. You see, for a long time now I have wanted to do this and have chosen not to because of fear and time and my own inner critic. But recently I have begun to realize the ...
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It’s really hard to experience God as safe when yo It’s really hard to experience God as safe when you’re taught theology that defends abusers and abandons the abused.
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May there be a repair for every untruth that has facilitated your harm.
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May your healing come. 🙏
(As always take what you need). #StayWithYourself 
#TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #religioustrauma survivor-centered trauma-informed
Being able to name our experience is so helpful & Being able to name our experience is so helpful & important, but with the fawn response—it can start to feel suffocating to know about what we’re experiencing and feel like we can’t change it. 
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And yet, we can learn to work “with” our fawn response; living from our Center instead of survival. #staywithyourself #trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd
If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what y If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what you need to stay with yourself.🕯️#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #LoveyourneighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
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Fawn, fawn response, cPTSD, healing, nervous system, religious trauma, attachment trauma, alignment, faith and mental health
A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat o A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat on the release of his newest offering, “Who You’re Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age.” This is a phenomenally timely book, written by someone who works to embody what he writes. I was honored to endorse it. Here’s what I said:
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“In the midst of our unmoored, image obsessed culture, Dr. Chuck DeGroat offers us the grounding wisdom we so often forget: God is with us as we become ourselves. With kindness and deft insight, DeGroat leads us through the practical, courageous, and often slow work required to cultivate maturity and true character. In so doing, Who You’re Becoming serves as a powerful and needed guide for anyone wanting to go beyond a try-hard faith or mere surface level change—so they can deepen into their truest, beloved selves.”
Aundi Kolber MA, LPC
Therapist & Author of Try Softer and Strong like Water
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Congrats, Chuck! You can find “Who You’re Becoming” wherever books are sold (link in stories or check out an excerpt on my substack today—also in stories 🎉)
#WhoYoureBecoming
There can be so much valid grief that comes from l There can be so much valid grief that comes from losing relationships while you heal.*
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But if you have to choose between keeping a relationship & keeping you—l hope you choose you.
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God does not abandon you, & you don’t have to abandon yourself either. Selah. 
(As always, take what you need 🕯️)
#StayWithYourself #Fawning #TrySofter #Cptsd #narcissticabuse 
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Need more resources & insight? You can pre-order my newest offering, “Stay With Yourself,” that addresses exactly these issues (link in profile).
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*For example, from setting healthy boundaries, advocating for yourself, or being unwilling to participate in toxic dynamics.
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 Boundaries | embodied boundaries | interpersonal trauma | relationships | self compassion | integrating faith and mental health
Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emo Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emotions around injustice or harm一but rather so we can access the clarity to live in alignment even amidst intensity.
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And so may you find Ground that holds you steady.
#StayWithYourself #StronglikeWater #TrySofter #regulation #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨ #StayWithYourself #Try May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #HealAnyway #TakeWhatYouNee
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Fawn | trauma | trauma resolution | cPTSD | religious trauma | nervous system | attachment trauma | complex trauma | grief | faith and mental health | self compassion | compassionate attention
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