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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

March 24, 2015 ·

Because Winter Always Ends

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Have you ever walked through a time of your life that seemed to never end? The times you were certain it wouldn't change or get better? I'm willing to bet those moments aren't the highlights of your life. Not the day you won the award, got married, or vacationed at the beach; no, those always ...
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March 17, 2015 ·

Unexpected Gift #FortheLove

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I don't think anyone would accuse me of being "too easy going" (wink wink). You may have noticed in my writing (or not), that I am a deep feeler and quite passionate about many issues.Truthfully, much of my life I have worked to become a person who is able to adjust when things come up and change ...
Read More about Unexpected Gift #FortheLove

March 11, 2015 ·

Battle Scars

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“In a futile attempt to erase our past, we deprive the community of our healing gift. If we conceal our wounds out of fear and shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others ” — Brennan Manning, Abba's Child: The Cry of the Heart for ...
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March 6, 2015 ·

The Necessity of Rest

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I love the idea of rest.But what is it? Is it tuning out in front of the TV? Is it a massage? Is it prayer?  Is it being with people? Is it being alone? There are a lot of conflicting ideas out there.I define rest as experiences or actions which cause us to feel renewed and revived; they allow ...
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February 27, 2015 ·

When We Find Life in Leaving

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Standing over the stove, you can tell she’s in her element. The woman can cook.She may not be able to recite the recipe exactly, and may have to tell you in three separate phone calls the revisions to the recipe, but cooking is her love language. That and waking up at 5am to make sure your ...
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February 25, 2015 ·

When We Miss the Connection

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Have you ever felt missed? Like you were with someone and they just didn't get it? Maybe not just it...maybe they didn't get you? Maybe you took a risk and you put yourself out there to let yourself be seen or known. And then, you weren't?You weren't seen. You weren't ...
Read More about When We Miss the Connection

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It’s really hard to experience God as safe when yo It’s really hard to experience God as safe when you’re taught theology that defends abusers and abandons the abused.
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May there be a repair for every untruth that has facilitated your harm.
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May your healing come. 🙏
(As always take what you need). #StayWithYourself 
#TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #religioustrauma survivor-centered trauma-informed
Being able to name our experience is so helpful & Being able to name our experience is so helpful & important, but with the fawn response—it can start to feel suffocating to know about what we’re experiencing and feel like we can’t change it. 
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And yet, we can learn to work “with” our fawn response; living from our Center instead of survival. #staywithyourself #trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd
If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what y If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what you need to stay with yourself.🕯️#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #LoveyourneighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
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Fawn, fawn response, cPTSD, healing, nervous system, religious trauma, attachment trauma, alignment, faith and mental health
A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat o A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat on the release of his newest offering, “Who You’re Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age.” This is a phenomenally timely book, written by someone who works to embody what he writes. I was honored to endorse it. Here’s what I said:
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“In the midst of our unmoored, image obsessed culture, Dr. Chuck DeGroat offers us the grounding wisdom we so often forget: God is with us as we become ourselves. With kindness and deft insight, DeGroat leads us through the practical, courageous, and often slow work required to cultivate maturity and true character. In so doing, Who You’re Becoming serves as a powerful and needed guide for anyone wanting to go beyond a try-hard faith or mere surface level change—so they can deepen into their truest, beloved selves.”
Aundi Kolber MA, LPC
Therapist & Author of Try Softer and Strong like Water
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Congrats, Chuck! You can find “Who You’re Becoming” wherever books are sold (link in stories or check out an excerpt on my substack today—also in stories 🎉)
#WhoYoureBecoming
There can be so much valid grief that comes from l There can be so much valid grief that comes from losing relationships while you heal.*
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But if you have to choose between keeping a relationship & keeping you—l hope you choose you.
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God does not abandon you, & you don’t have to abandon yourself either. Selah. 
(As always, take what you need 🕯️)
#StayWithYourself #Fawning #TrySofter #Cptsd #narcissticabuse 
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Need more resources & insight? You can pre-order my newest offering, “Stay With Yourself,” that addresses exactly these issues (link in profile).
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*For example, from setting healthy boundaries, advocating for yourself, or being unwilling to participate in toxic dynamics.
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 Boundaries | embodied boundaries | interpersonal trauma | relationships | self compassion | integrating faith and mental health
Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emo Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emotions around injustice or harm一but rather so we can access the clarity to live in alignment even amidst intensity.
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And so may you find Ground that holds you steady.
#StayWithYourself #StronglikeWater #TrySofter #regulation #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨ #StayWithYourself #Try May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #HealAnyway #TakeWhatYouNee
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Fawn | trauma | trauma resolution | cPTSD | religious trauma | nervous system | attachment trauma | complex trauma | grief | faith and mental health | self compassion | compassionate attention
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