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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

March 24, 2015 ·

Because Winter Always Ends

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Have you ever walked through a time of your life that seemed to never end? The times you were certain it wouldn't change or get better? I'm willing to bet those moments aren't the highlights of your life. Not the day you won the award, got married, or vacationed at the beach; no, those always ...
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March 17, 2015 ·

Unexpected Gift #FortheLove

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I don't think anyone would accuse me of being "too easy going" (wink wink). You may have noticed in my writing (or not), that I am a deep feeler and quite passionate about many issues.Truthfully, much of my life I have worked to become a person who is able to adjust when things come up and change ...
Read More about Unexpected Gift #FortheLove

March 11, 2015 ·

Battle Scars

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“In a futile attempt to erase our past, we deprive the community of our healing gift. If we conceal our wounds out of fear and shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others ” — Brennan Manning, Abba's Child: The Cry of the Heart for ...
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March 6, 2015 ·

The Necessity of Rest

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I love the idea of rest.But what is it? Is it tuning out in front of the TV? Is it a massage? Is it prayer?  Is it being with people? Is it being alone? There are a lot of conflicting ideas out there.I define rest as experiences or actions which cause us to feel renewed and revived; they allow ...
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February 27, 2015 ·

When We Find Life in Leaving

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Standing over the stove, you can tell she’s in her element. The woman can cook.She may not be able to recite the recipe exactly, and may have to tell you in three separate phone calls the revisions to the recipe, but cooking is her love language. That and waking up at 5am to make sure your ...
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February 25, 2015 ·

When We Miss the Connection

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Have you ever felt missed? Like you were with someone and they just didn't get it? Maybe not just it...maybe they didn't get you? Maybe you took a risk and you put yourself out there to let yourself be seen or known. And then, you weren't?You weren't seen. You weren't ...
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These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨ #TakeWha These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨
#TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #cptsd #Beloved
Some of you may know from my writing and speaking Some of you may know from my writing and speaking that in addition to being a trauma therapist, I am a long-term survivor of Narcissistic abuse and Complex PTSD. Today, I felt moved to share this reflection from a few years ago that I’ve adapted a bit as I’ve continued in my own work (and I’ll be sharing more layers of my story & the complexity involved with it in my upcoming book.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️‍🔥)
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But for now: if this is part of your story too, I honor that in the same way the wounding is complicated, so, too, can the healing be. There is no shame there. The repair must match the rupture.❤️‍🩹 And yet, even if healing is complicated—you are so worthy of it. Sending love. #cptsd #narcissticabuse #trysofter #stronglikewater #grief
Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve learned to leave yourself to survive—the return can be terrifying and yet deeply satisfying all at the same time. May you experience repair in every way you need. 
// As always take what you need.
#Beloved #TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #fawning
Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been h Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been here. Sometimes my body & spirit tell me it’s time to take a longer break, and though I care deeply about this work—practicing what I preach matters to me even more. I’m not quite ready to enter back in more regularly, but until then, I thought I’d leave a few things I’ve been chewing on. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear. 🌿 (As always, take what you need)
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And may you, in the way and the pace you’re able—have access to the rest you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborASyourself #cptsd
Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶 Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶🏻#PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborasyourself
Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
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