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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

March 24, 2015 ·

Because Winter Always Ends

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Have you ever walked through a time of your life that seemed to never end? The times you were certain it wouldn't change or get better? I'm willing to bet those moments aren't the highlights of your life. Not the day you won the award, got married, or vacationed at the beach; no, those always ...
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March 17, 2015 ·

Unexpected Gift #FortheLove

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I don't think anyone would accuse me of being "too easy going" (wink wink). You may have noticed in my writing (or not), that I am a deep feeler and quite passionate about many issues.Truthfully, much of my life I have worked to become a person who is able to adjust when things come up and change ...
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March 11, 2015 ·

Battle Scars

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“In a futile attempt to erase our past, we deprive the community of our healing gift. If we conceal our wounds out of fear and shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others ” — Brennan Manning, Abba's Child: The Cry of the Heart for ...
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March 6, 2015 ·

The Necessity of Rest

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I love the idea of rest.But what is it? Is it tuning out in front of the TV? Is it a massage? Is it prayer?  Is it being with people? Is it being alone? There are a lot of conflicting ideas out there.I define rest as experiences or actions which cause us to feel renewed and revived; they allow ...
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February 27, 2015 ·

When We Find Life in Leaving

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Standing over the stove, you can tell she’s in her element. The woman can cook.She may not be able to recite the recipe exactly, and may have to tell you in three separate phone calls the revisions to the recipe, but cooking is her love language. That and waking up at 5am to make sure your ...
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February 25, 2015 ·

When We Miss the Connection

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Have you ever felt missed? Like you were with someone and they just didn't get it? Maybe not just it...maybe they didn't get you? Maybe you took a risk and you put yourself out there to let yourself be seen or known. And then, you weren't?You weren't seen. You weren't ...
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Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Oliver), helps capture truth in a way psychology struggles to fully articulate. The reality of what it feels like to thaw the pain we hold can be difficult to put words to, but this from Mary has been so meaningful to me:
🌿
“We shake with joy,
we shake with grief.
What a time they have, these two
housed as they are in the same body.”
-Mary Oliver, We Shake With Joy
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Sending love.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #traumaresolution #cptsd
Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profoun Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profound gratitude for our love and the life, God helping us, we’ve created. Sometimes, against all odds. 
🌿
But here we are, still choosing each other; choosing us. The goodness of God in the land of the living.
🌿
Thank you for all the ways you’ve helped me find home again, B. Happy anniversary, my love. @bckolber
#trysofter #stronglikewater
Not me geeking out because my words are on @insigh Not me geeking out because my words are on @insighttimer today (just kidding, I’m totally geeking out 🙃🥹)
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Fun fact, Insight Timer has been a huge resource in my personal work toward self-compassion and mindfulness, particularly practices with Sarah Blondin.
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Thanks @stephpoe1 & @hkoxhandler for making sure I didn’t miss it ✨🫶🏻✨
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And thanks @insighttimer for the shout out.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #insighttimer #cptsd #trauma
In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it co In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it cost you to know what you know.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹
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May your healing come.🌿
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#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #traumaresolution #cptsd
Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and I might add, that it’s not only in churches, but in non-profits, families, parachurch ministries, goverments, NGO’s, the publishing industry, and any systems where we don’t consciously and actively make it safe for survivors to speak up. 
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As Dr. Jennifer Freyd notes regarding institutional courage: “We must cherish the whistleblowers.” Indeed. 
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And to the survivors: I honor you. I’m sorry you’ve had to be so strong. ❤️‍🩹
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May you be surprised by the mystery of healing. 🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #healanyway #traumaresolution
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