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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

February 19, 2015 ·

Anchors

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It’s difficult to imagine it now, but my 5’4" self played college basketball. You know how a lot of people get stopped and asked if they do things, like play sports?Yeah, that wasn’t me.It didn’t stop me from loving the game of basketball though. If anything, my size made me hungry to step ...
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February 10, 2015 ·

When We Sit in the Longing

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What do we do with all the little and big heartbreaks? With people who disappoint us? With Valentine's dates that never come? How about the longings that don't get fulfilled? Where do we go with these things?Because unless you live in an insulated world, you're experiencing that sharp ...
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February 3, 2015 ·

And Then I Met You: A Love Letter

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This week I am joining up with Seth and Amber Haines in a linkup on love letters. At the first of every month they write letters to each other based on different themes. This month the theme is Holy. I'd encourage you to pop over to runamuck.com and check it out, they are beautiful.  ...
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January 28, 2015 ·

Acquainted With Grief

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I don’t remember the first time I felt alone in pain and wrong for feeling it, but I can tell you there have been many times in my life that it’s been true. That isn't to say that I haven’t been loved or supported in painful and difficult situations, but it is to say that in general people ...
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January 20, 2015 ·

One Word…

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Listen, I know I’m late to the party. I get that it’s almost February and I am just now talking about my “one word,” but I figure, better late than never. So here is my one word for 2015…Notice.Now if “notice” doesn’t strike you as particularly powerful, that’s okay. I’m not offended.But please ...
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January 12, 2015 ·

Where the eyes go…

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“The car goes where the eyes go...” — Garth Stein, "The Art of Racing in the Rain" The above quote is from one of my favorite books, “The Art of Racing In the Rain.” If you haven’t read it, do yourself a favor and check it out. The context of the quote is ...
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May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
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*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
Take What You Need // However this weekend finds y Take What You Need // However this weekend finds you, I hope you feel loved. 🫶🏻 #MothersDay #TrySofter #Cptsd #infertility #beloved
Learning to believe your own experience is a vital Learning to believe your own experience is a vital part of healing from relational trauma, especially experiences like narcissistic abuse. For survivors, it’s often been safer to discount your internal world than it is to believe yourself. And this makes sense, because we were wired for connection. But connection was never meant to be a weapon and it’s only when we start to be grounded in reality that we can untangle love or friendship from harm. 
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As we begin to have to have capacity to honor the truth of our experience, we develop the inner trust to live more and more in alignment. May it be so.
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If it feels like a resource, this practice is for you. #takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #cptsd
Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, greetings to you Maycemeber); but I have found myself full up. I have been full with a whole bunch of goodness; good work, but also intensity. Projects and commitments that require a me that is grounded, resourced, & clear. It’s often in those times that I especially remember we are invited to do the gentle & fierce work of keeping our eyes out for goodness. Even the smallest bits matter. What a paradox; its goodness & beauty & connection that help fuel us to meet the difficult demands of being a human. And particularly as a trauma survivor, I am reminded that I, that each of us, get to participate in our own repair. What sacred work. 
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If it feels like a resource, I’ll leave you with this:
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May mercy and goodness ground you in your body, your relationships, and in your place. Made the co-regulating love of the God of the universe be in, above, and around you. May it lead you Home again + again.
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Thank you to @benrector for a fabulous concert. Grateful for my writing pal @ashlee_eiland & her amazing staff at Living Stones for being a wonderful & attentive audience today. Big love & gratitude to a husband (@bckolber) + kiddos who light up with joy alongside me, and thank you to @stewartdantec for sharing the fabulous James Baldwin quote.
Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving p Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving pain. Coming to honor the truth of our experience is not an indication of our weakness but a move toward deeper integration.🕯️
Sending love. #trysofter #fawn #beloved #stronglikewater #cptsd
Good morning 🌿 Take what you need.🙏 . Inhale: My Good morning 🌿 
Take what you need.🙏
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Inhale: My work is not to prove myself
Exhale: It’s to be myself 
#beloved #trysofter #compassionateattention #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻 #trysofter #lovenotest For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻
#trysofter #lovenotestomynervoussystem #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #takewhatyouneed
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