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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

February 19, 2015 ·

Anchors

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It’s difficult to imagine it now, but my 5’4" self played college basketball. You know how a lot of people get stopped and asked if they do things, like play sports?Yeah, that wasn’t me.It didn’t stop me from loving the game of basketball though. If anything, my size made me hungry to step ...
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February 10, 2015 ·

When We Sit in the Longing

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What do we do with all the little and big heartbreaks? With people who disappoint us? With Valentine's dates that never come? How about the longings that don't get fulfilled? Where do we go with these things?Because unless you live in an insulated world, you're experiencing that sharp ...
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February 3, 2015 ·

And Then I Met You: A Love Letter

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This week I am joining up with Seth and Amber Haines in a linkup on love letters. At the first of every month they write letters to each other based on different themes. This month the theme is Holy. I'd encourage you to pop over to runamuck.com and check it out, they are beautiful.  ...
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January 28, 2015 ·

Acquainted With Grief

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I don’t remember the first time I felt alone in pain and wrong for feeling it, but I can tell you there have been many times in my life that it’s been true. That isn't to say that I haven’t been loved or supported in painful and difficult situations, but it is to say that in general people ...
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January 20, 2015 ·

One Word…

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Listen, I know I’m late to the party. I get that it’s almost February and I am just now talking about my “one word,” but I figure, better late than never. So here is my one word for 2015…Notice.Now if “notice” doesn’t strike you as particularly powerful, that’s okay. I’m not offended.But please ...
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January 12, 2015 ·

Where the eyes go…

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“The car goes where the eyes go...” — Garth Stein, "The Art of Racing in the Rain" The above quote is from one of my favorite books, “The Art of Racing In the Rain.” If you haven’t read it, do yourself a favor and check it out. The context of the quote is ...
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I love @meredithannemiller’s iconic line: “Nurturi I love @meredithannemiller’s iconic line: “Nurturing a faith…(you) don’t have to heal from.” That’s the heart behind The Woven Conference hosted by Westminster Presbyterian Church this coming November—and I’m so honored to be serving as the keynote speaker this year. 
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As we navigate such an intense time in the world, we’re going to be exploring how we incorporate a compassionate, grounded, curious posture to integrating faith & mental health—allowing us to bring our faith with us even (and especially) as we heal.
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We would love to see you there! 
(Check out the link in my stories for details 🎟️) #wovenconference #trysofter #staywithyourself #stronglikewater #LoveYourNeighnorASYourself
It’s really hard to experience God as safe when yo It’s really hard to experience God as safe when you’re taught theology that defends abusers and abandons the abused.
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May there be a repair for every untruth that has facilitated your harm.
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May your healing come. 🙏
(As always take what you need). #StayWithYourself 
#TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #religioustrauma survivor-centered trauma-informed
Being able to name our experience is so helpful & Being able to name our experience is so helpful & important, but with the fawn response—it can start to feel suffocating to know about what we’re experiencing and feel like we can’t change it. 
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And yet, we can learn to work “with” our fawn response; living from our Center instead of survival. #staywithyourself #trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd
If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what y If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what you need to stay with yourself.🕯️#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #LoveyourneighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
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Fawn, fawn response, cPTSD, healing, nervous system, religious trauma, attachment trauma, alignment, faith and mental health
A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat o A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat on the release of his newest offering, “Who You’re Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age.” This is a phenomenally timely book, written by someone who works to embody what he writes. I was honored to endorse it. Here’s what I said:
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“In the midst of our unmoored, image obsessed culture, Dr. Chuck DeGroat offers us the grounding wisdom we so often forget: God is with us as we become ourselves. With kindness and deft insight, DeGroat leads us through the practical, courageous, and often slow work required to cultivate maturity and true character. In so doing, Who You’re Becoming serves as a powerful and needed guide for anyone wanting to go beyond a try-hard faith or mere surface level change—so they can deepen into their truest, beloved selves.”
Aundi Kolber MA, LPC
Therapist & Author of Try Softer and Strong like Water
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Congrats, Chuck! You can find “Who You’re Becoming” wherever books are sold (link in stories or check out an excerpt on my substack today—also in stories 🎉)
#WhoYoureBecoming
There can be so much valid grief that comes from l There can be so much valid grief that comes from losing relationships while you heal.*
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But if you have to choose between keeping a relationship & keeping you—l hope you choose you.
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God does not abandon you, & you don’t have to abandon yourself either. Selah. 
(As always, take what you need 🕯️)
#StayWithYourself #Fawning #TrySofter #Cptsd #narcissticabuse 
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Need more resources & insight? You can pre-order my newest offering, “Stay With Yourself,” that addresses exactly these issues (link in profile).
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*For example, from setting healthy boundaries, advocating for yourself, or being unwilling to participate in toxic dynamics.
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 Boundaries | embodied boundaries | interpersonal trauma | relationships | self compassion | integrating faith and mental health
Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emo Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emotions around injustice or harm一but rather so we can access the clarity to live in alignment even amidst intensity.
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And so may you find Ground that holds you steady.
#StayWithYourself #StronglikeWater #TrySofter #regulation #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
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