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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

February 19, 2015 ·

Anchors

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It’s difficult to imagine it now, but my 5’4" self played college basketball. You know how a lot of people get stopped and asked if they do things, like play sports?Yeah, that wasn’t me.It didn’t stop me from loving the game of basketball though. If anything, my size made me hungry to step ...
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February 10, 2015 ·

When We Sit in the Longing

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What do we do with all the little and big heartbreaks? With people who disappoint us? With Valentine's dates that never come? How about the longings that don't get fulfilled? Where do we go with these things?Because unless you live in an insulated world, you're experiencing that sharp ...
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February 3, 2015 ·

And Then I Met You: A Love Letter

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This week I am joining up with Seth and Amber Haines in a linkup on love letters. At the first of every month they write letters to each other based on different themes. This month the theme is Holy. I'd encourage you to pop over to runamuck.com and check it out, they are beautiful.  ...
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January 28, 2015 ·

Acquainted With Grief

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I don’t remember the first time I felt alone in pain and wrong for feeling it, but I can tell you there have been many times in my life that it’s been true. That isn't to say that I haven’t been loved or supported in painful and difficult situations, but it is to say that in general people ...
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January 20, 2015 ·

One Word…

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Listen, I know I’m late to the party. I get that it’s almost February and I am just now talking about my “one word,” but I figure, better late than never. So here is my one word for 2015…Notice.Now if “notice” doesn’t strike you as particularly powerful, that’s okay. I’m not offended.But please ...
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January 12, 2015 ·

Where the eyes go…

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“The car goes where the eyes go...” — Garth Stein, "The Art of Racing in the Rain" The above quote is from one of my favorite books, “The Art of Racing In the Rain.” If you haven’t read it, do yourself a favor and check it out. The context of the quote is ...
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These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨ #TakeWha These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨
#TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #cptsd #Beloved
Some of you may know from my writing and speaking Some of you may know from my writing and speaking that in addition to being a trauma therapist, I am a long-term survivor of Narcissistic abuse and Complex PTSD. Today, I felt moved to share this reflection from a few years ago that I’ve adapted a bit as I’ve continued in my own work (and I’ll be sharing more layers of my story & the complexity involved with it in my upcoming book.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️‍🔥)
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But for now: if this is part of your story too, I honor that in the same way the wounding is complicated, so, too, can the healing be. There is no shame there. The repair must match the rupture.❤️‍🩹 And yet, even if healing is complicated—you are so worthy of it. Sending love. #cptsd #narcissticabuse #trysofter #stronglikewater #grief
Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve learned to leave yourself to survive—the return can be terrifying and yet deeply satisfying all at the same time. May you experience repair in every way you need. 
// As always take what you need.
#Beloved #TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #fawning
Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been h Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been here. Sometimes my body & spirit tell me it’s time to take a longer break, and though I care deeply about this work—practicing what I preach matters to me even more. I’m not quite ready to enter back in more regularly, but until then, I thought I’d leave a few things I’ve been chewing on. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear. 🌿 (As always, take what you need)
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And may you, in the way and the pace you’re able—have access to the rest you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborASyourself #cptsd
Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶 Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶🏻#PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborasyourself
Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
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