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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

April 28, 2015 ·

To the Ones Who Want to Give Up

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As I hunched over, crying my ugly cry, I finally took a breath after what felt like hours of unrelenting sobs. And then I allowed myself to acknowledge the truth: it was over; really truly, very much over.At the tender age of 22, I had been engaged, and now it was off.He was a good man, not perfect ...
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April 22, 2015 ·

The Bitter and the Sweet

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There’s something about traveling that stirs me. I feel alive and connected and alone all at once.Recently we took a trip where we saw family and vacationed at the same time. This was significant for us because we don’t live near any relatives and we very much enjoy seeing them. Both my husband and ...
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April 14, 2015 ·

Fan the Flame

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I’m one of those people who can revel in words. I enjoy a beautiful sentence, I’m a collector of quotes and I’ll choose a good book over most activities.Plus, I’m certain that “words of affirmation” is my top love language (Thank you, Gary Chapman).So it isn’t a stretch for me to chew on this ...
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April 10, 2015 ·

Imperfect But Enough

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“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” John 12:24After four years of marriage, I thought I was finally ready to be a mom. For some reason, we thought it would happen quickly. And so every month ...
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April 2, 2015 ·

When They Nailed Him to the Tree

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“Were you there, when they nailed him to the tree?Were you there when they nailed him to the tree?Wooo, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, trembleWere you there, when they crucified my Lord?" - William Eleazer Barton, Old Plantation Hymns (1899)Growing up this hymn was a favorite ...
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March 30, 2015 ·

For the Love Series: Use Your No

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As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I am part of the book launch team for Jen Hatmaker’s, “For the Love.” One of the things I am appreciating about this book is the difficult but necessary topics Jen is hitting on (along with a healthy dose of humor). As we continue towards August, when the book ...
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Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Oliver), helps capture truth in a way psychology struggles to fully articulate. The reality of what it feels like to thaw the pain we hold can be difficult to put words to, but this from Mary has been so meaningful to me:
🌿
“We shake with joy,
we shake with grief.
What a time they have, these two
housed as they are in the same body.”
-Mary Oliver, We Shake With Joy
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Sending love.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #traumaresolution #cptsd
Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profoun Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profound gratitude for our love and the life, God helping us, we’ve created. Sometimes, against all odds. 
🌿
But here we are, still choosing each other; choosing us. The goodness of God in the land of the living.
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Thank you for all the ways you’ve helped me find home again, B. Happy anniversary, my love. @bckolber
#trysofter #stronglikewater
Not me geeking out because my words are on @insigh Not me geeking out because my words are on @insighttimer today (just kidding, I’m totally geeking out 🙃🥹)
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Fun fact, Insight Timer has been a huge resource in my personal work toward self-compassion and mindfulness, particularly practices with Sarah Blondin.
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Thanks @stephpoe1 & @hkoxhandler for making sure I didn’t miss it ✨🫶🏻✨
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And thanks @insighttimer for the shout out.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #insighttimer #cptsd #trauma
In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it co In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it cost you to know what you know.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹
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May your healing come.🌿
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#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #traumaresolution #cptsd
Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and I might add, that it’s not only in churches, but in non-profits, families, parachurch ministries, goverments, NGO’s, the publishing industry, and any systems where we don’t consciously and actively make it safe for survivors to speak up. 
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As Dr. Jennifer Freyd notes regarding institutional courage: “We must cherish the whistleblowers.” Indeed. 
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And to the survivors: I honor you. I’m sorry you’ve had to be so strong. ❤️‍🩹
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May you be surprised by the mystery of healing. 🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #healanyway #traumaresolution
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