• About Aundi
  • Videos
    • Try Softer Guided Journey Videos
    • Strong Like Water Guided Journey Videos
  • Books
    • Stay with Yourself
    • Try Softer
    • The Try Softer Guided Journey
    • Strong like Water
    • Strong Like Water: Guided Journey
    • Take What You Need
  • Work with Me
  • Speaking & Consulting
  • Podcasts
  • Contact
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • RSS
    • Twitter
Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

April 28, 2015 ·

To the Ones Who Want to Give Up

Uncategorized

As I hunched over, crying my ugly cry, I finally took a breath after what felt like hours of unrelenting sobs. And then I allowed myself to acknowledge the truth: it was over; really truly, very much over.At the tender age of 22, I had been engaged, and now it was off.He was a good man, not perfect ...
Read More about To the Ones Who Want to Give Up

April 22, 2015 ·

The Bitter and the Sweet

Uncategorized

There’s something about traveling that stirs me. I feel alive and connected and alone all at once.Recently we took a trip where we saw family and vacationed at the same time. This was significant for us because we don’t live near any relatives and we very much enjoy seeing them. Both my husband and ...
Read More about The Bitter and the Sweet

April 14, 2015 ·

Fan the Flame

Uncategorized

I’m one of those people who can revel in words. I enjoy a beautiful sentence, I’m a collector of quotes and I’ll choose a good book over most activities.Plus, I’m certain that “words of affirmation” is my top love language (Thank you, Gary Chapman).So it isn’t a stretch for me to chew on this ...
Read More about Fan the Flame

April 10, 2015 ·

Imperfect But Enough

Uncategorized

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” John 12:24After four years of marriage, I thought I was finally ready to be a mom. For some reason, we thought it would happen quickly. And so every month ...
Read More about Imperfect But Enough

April 2, 2015 ·

When They Nailed Him to the Tree

Uncategorized

“Were you there, when they nailed him to the tree?Were you there when they nailed him to the tree?Wooo, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, trembleWere you there, when they crucified my Lord?" - William Eleazer Barton, Old Plantation Hymns (1899)Growing up this hymn was a favorite ...
Read More about When They Nailed Him to the Tree

March 30, 2015 ·

For the Love Series: Use Your No

Uncategorized

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I am part of the book launch team for Jen Hatmaker’s, “For the Love.” One of the things I am appreciating about this book is the difficult but necessary topics Jen is hitting on (along with a healthy dose of humor). As we continue towards August, when the book ...
Read More about For the Love Series: Use Your No

  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Page 1
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 13
  • Page 14
  • Page 15
  • Page 16
  • Page 17
  • Page 18
  • Go to Next Page »
When we don’t center survivors—it matters. It can When we don’t center survivors—it matters. It can change the trajectory of someone’s healing.
🌿
One of the reasons I emphasize offering as much agency as possible in places where I have influence (like writing, speaking, & therapy), is because experiences of powerlessness are a core component of trauma,* and so often, people are re-traumatized when they try to get help and heal. 
🌿
And yet, we cannot heal a wound the way it was created. Where agency was stolen or taken, it must be returned & restored for there to be repair.
🌿
Centering survivors matters. And healing must take a different path than harm. May it be so. #StayWithYourself 
.

*Including but not limited to developmental, spiritual, relational, sexual, medical, racial, and more
#trysofter #cptsd #stronglikewater #healanyway
Sending all my love to trauma survivors today. Tak Sending all my love to trauma survivors today. Take extra care. And as my friend @sarahcarterwest says, I’m keeping my candle lit with you.🕯️❤️‍🩹
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #selfcompassion #loveyourneighborASYourself #cptsd
This particular lament has been on the tip of my l This particular lament has been on the tip of my lips for months now, but as news like the Cornell 7 & profound allegations of abuse are uncovered in Christian spaces—I wanted to write and share it now. #StayWithYourself #TrySofter #PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
.
(Dedicated to Jane Doe, and each person who has been harmed by institution betrayal).
.
**Dr. Jennifer Freyd coined the term institutional betrayal and it is when “a trusted organization or system harms an individual who depends on it, or fails to prevent and properly respond to wrongdoings committed within its context.” She notes the opposite of institutional betrayal is institutional courage.** 
.
Selah.
For all the times you’ve shamed yourself, thinking For all the times you’ve shamed yourself, thinking it would somehow heal you, I see you. 
🌿
May compassion be your portion. 🙏
(As always, take what you need)
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed #Beloved
I still can’t believe all the love from my announc I still can’t believe all the love from my announcement of “Stay With Yourself.” 😭🕯️Thank you, thank you, thank you. What an absolute honor. Truly.
🌿
As your week ends, I wonder if any of these resonate? As always, take what you need.🫶🏻 #StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #fawning #cptsd 
(You can pre-order “Stay With Yourself” wherever books are sold. Links in my profile 📕)
Eeeeeee! I am SO excited to finally share my newes Eeeeeee! I am SO excited to finally share my newest offering, this work of my heart: 
“Stay With Yourself: A Soft & Fierce Invitation to Unlearn Pleasing, Performing, & Keeping the Peace—And Live From Your Truest, God-Given Center”(releasing March, 9th, 2027🎉)
🌿
Whew, this book has been a long time coming. I first wrote about fawning & how we brilliantly survive relational trauma by leaving ourselves (especially by overaccomodating, self abandonment, appeasing, and keeping the peace) back in “Try Softer” (2020). The truth is though, I always knew there was more for me to say. Because fawning is often the engine for so much suffering for relational trauma survivors—and in truth, so much of my own suffering; I knew there would come a time I would write this very book. I wasn’t ready then, but I’m ready now. 
🌿
And so, this is a book about how elemental our relationships are, at every stage, but especially in childhood—and what happens when we have to leave ourselves to survive.
🌿
This is a book about the way fawning keeps us alive (thank God) & connected to relationships that we perceive are necessary for our survival, but can come to feel like suffocating chains if we don’t have enough safety to unlearn it.
🌿
This is a book about how regularly Christian spaces conflate the fawn survival response of overaccomodating, self-abandonment, & appeasement for Jesus’ call toward healthy generosity and self-giving. It’s also about the ways this misunderstanding is often purposely weaponized to facilitate compliance & silence, especially from the most vulnerable. 
🌿
This is a book about what happens when we don’t have access to the solidness and truth of who God made us to be; our Self. It’s about the ways it changes the very essence of our internal organization, our ability to heal, & how we show up in the world.
🌿
Ultimately, this is also a loveletter—about what it means to build the capacity to do something different; to finally feel the healthy anger, grief, & clarity we must feel to live in alignment—and stay with our God-given selves {I would be so honored if you would consider pre-ordering! You can find the link in my profile and in stories 🕯️🕯️🕯️}
Fawning is a relational trauma response to relatio Fawning is a relational trauma response to relational trauma. It requires us to lose ourselves, so we don’t lose relationships that are essential for our safety and survival. 
.
And because this trauma deeply ruptures our relationship to ourselves; our own body — the healing must always include and repair how we relate to ourselves, too.
May it be so.
🌿
(p.s. I have a huge announcement related to this coming out next week, if you’re not subscribed to my email list, I’d love to have you!)🌿 (link in stories or at substack.com/@aundikolber)
#fawning #cptsd #trysofter #stronglikewater
Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2026 Aundi Kolber · Design by Bethany Ruth

    all fields required

    Would you like to subscribe to Aundi's email updates?
    YesNo