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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

June 12, 2015 ·

Becoming Un-Stuck

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The dark sky is swirling above me and clouds are forming. Like the weather, I feel pretty gloomy because I feel stuck; the sense that nothing I do will create movement or change. I wonder whether I will address this issue or that one? Do I put my energy here, here or here? My vision feels blurry and ...
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June 4, 2015 ·

Moment to Moment

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I stared down at her plump cheeks and her dark lashes and thought, ‘I have so much to do today.’"But mom, please put on your party dress.”She handed me the crotchet blanket that would serve as my dress. Not unlike many mornings, my Tiny wanted me to focus on her for a while; she wanted me to enter ...
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May 27, 2015 ·

An Open Hand

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I have a confession. My default setting is scarcity. It's the gnawing feeling that there won't ever be enough; not for me and certainly not for you. It can infect any area of life including energy, time, money or love. Scarcity at it's core is a continual lack. The result is I must ...
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May 20, 2015 ·

It Can Be Both

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After 9.5 years in Colorado, I am still floored by our weather. I can't tell you the number of times I have started the day in a tank top, only to have it snow a few hours later. Or, I began the day with snow boots, only to be in my shorts by the afternoon.Outdoor picnic? Let's figure it ...
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May 13, 2015 ·

A Therapist Note

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Dear reader, The job that I do places me in an interesting position. Essentially, as a mental health counselor I have the great honor of walking with folks through various types of pain, struggles and mental health issues. I watch with a combination of emotions as segments of our ...
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May 5, 2015 ·

To My Girl…

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As many of you know, my theme word for the year is "notice." So as we approach Mother's Day, I have taken extra care to notice the gift (and often the hardships too), that come with being a mom. This letter comes from that place. Enjoy XO.My darling T, This morning we went to a pre-school and ...
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It’s really hard to experience God as safe when yo It’s really hard to experience God as safe when you’re taught theology that defends abusers and abandons the abused.
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May there be a repair for every untruth that has facilitated your harm.
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May your healing come. 🙏
(As always take what you need). #StayWithYourself 
#TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #religioustrauma survivor-centered trauma-informed
Being able to name our experience is so helpful & Being able to name our experience is so helpful & important, but with the fawn response—it can start to feel suffocating to know about what we’re experiencing and feel like we can’t change it. 
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And yet, we can learn to work “with” our fawn response; living from our Center instead of survival. #staywithyourself #trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd
If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what y If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what you need to stay with yourself.🕯️#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #LoveyourneighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
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Fawn, fawn response, cPTSD, healing, nervous system, religious trauma, attachment trauma, alignment, faith and mental health
A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat o A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat on the release of his newest offering, “Who You’re Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age.” This is a phenomenally timely book, written by someone who works to embody what he writes. I was honored to endorse it. Here’s what I said:
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“In the midst of our unmoored, image obsessed culture, Dr. Chuck DeGroat offers us the grounding wisdom we so often forget: God is with us as we become ourselves. With kindness and deft insight, DeGroat leads us through the practical, courageous, and often slow work required to cultivate maturity and true character. In so doing, Who You’re Becoming serves as a powerful and needed guide for anyone wanting to go beyond a try-hard faith or mere surface level change—so they can deepen into their truest, beloved selves.”
Aundi Kolber MA, LPC
Therapist & Author of Try Softer and Strong like Water
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Congrats, Chuck! You can find “Who You’re Becoming” wherever books are sold (link in stories or check out an excerpt on my substack today—also in stories 🎉)
#WhoYoureBecoming
There can be so much valid grief that comes from l There can be so much valid grief that comes from losing relationships while you heal.*
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But if you have to choose between keeping a relationship & keeping you—l hope you choose you.
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God does not abandon you, & you don’t have to abandon yourself either. Selah. 
(As always, take what you need 🕯️)
#StayWithYourself #Fawning #TrySofter #Cptsd #narcissticabuse 
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Need more resources & insight? You can pre-order my newest offering, “Stay With Yourself,” that addresses exactly these issues (link in profile).
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*For example, from setting healthy boundaries, advocating for yourself, or being unwilling to participate in toxic dynamics.
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 Boundaries | embodied boundaries | interpersonal trauma | relationships | self compassion | integrating faith and mental health
Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emo Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emotions around injustice or harm一but rather so we can access the clarity to live in alignment even amidst intensity.
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And so may you find Ground that holds you steady.
#StayWithYourself #StronglikeWater #TrySofter #regulation #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨ #StayWithYourself #Try May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #HealAnyway #TakeWhatYouNee
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Fawn | trauma | trauma resolution | cPTSD | religious trauma | nervous system | attachment trauma | complex trauma | grief | faith and mental health | self compassion | compassionate attention
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