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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

October 14, 2015 ·

The Vital Work of Holding Space

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“We’re all just walking each other home” — Ram Dass She sat with me, and you could cut the air with a knife. It was thick with tension and possibility, but mostly with emotion. My emotion.My dear mentor cried with me, and sat with me, as I processed my family and my story and ...
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September 29, 2015 ·

Autumn Longing

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Just last week, I asked my friend, do other people get sad in the fall?Sort of a weird question, I realized, after it fell out of my mouth.She wondered at me for a moment, and then I think she knew what I meant. Or at least, she didn’t make me feel like a freak.Sad may not have been the right word. ...
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September 23, 2015 ·

When I Didn’t Want to Go to Jen Hatmaker’s House

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A small confession, when I first heard about the party at Jen Hatmaker’s house, I didn’t really want to go (insert confused looking face here).Weird, I know.The truth is, sometimes I’m bogged down by logistics and planning and I just don’t want to deal. I mean, in theory it sounded awesome. But ...
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September 17, 2015 ·

When We Learn How to Care {On Treating Ourselves Nicely}

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Awhile ago, a wise supervisor asked an important question: Why isn’t it okay with you, to take care of yourself? He said it so gently, I almost missed it. He was wondering out loud, so I could ask this of a client I had been discussing with him. But, it stuck with me, too. Honestly, it ...
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September 2, 2015 ·

Setting It Straight {3 Ways to Live Well Now}

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“The thief comes only to kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and life to the full" John 10:10 (NIV) Last year, I realized that my schedule was starting to get the best of me. It felt like it was controlling me, rather than it allowing me to live the life I wanted to live. ...
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August 25, 2015 ·

Hurts So Good {On Learning to Stay With It}

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I could feel the burn in my legs, as my quadriceps seemed to be on fire. Sweat would drip down off my eyebrows, but still we stayed with it. Each of my teammates doing their best to tough out a difficult part of practice.And so we did: Breathe in, breathe out, push, groan, push, and finally the ...
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May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyo May you find the way home.🙏 #trysofter #takewhatyouneed #fawn #cptsd #stronglikewater 
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*This pattern can also occur with other types of relational trauma. However, it tends to be especially pertinent for survivors of childhood trauma due to the power differential of children with adults and the way kids often adapt by using hyper vigilance, over accommodation, over functioning, and/or fawning to navigate these environments.
Take What You Need // However this weekend finds y Take What You Need // However this weekend finds you, I hope you feel loved. 🫶🏻 #MothersDay #TrySofter #Cptsd #infertility #beloved
Learning to believe your own experience is a vital Learning to believe your own experience is a vital part of healing from relational trauma, especially experiences like narcissistic abuse. For survivors, it’s often been safer to discount your internal world than it is to believe yourself. And this makes sense, because we were wired for connection. But connection was never meant to be a weapon and it’s only when we start to be grounded in reality that we can untangle love or friendship from harm. 
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As we begin to have to have capacity to honor the truth of our experience, we develop the inner trust to live more and more in alignment. May it be so.
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If it feels like a resource, this practice is for you. #takewhatyouneed #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #cptsd
Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, Well, I don’t know how your week is ending (ahem, greetings to you Maycemeber); but I have found myself full up. I have been full with a whole bunch of goodness; good work, but also intensity. Projects and commitments that require a me that is grounded, resourced, & clear. It’s often in those times that I especially remember we are invited to do the gentle & fierce work of keeping our eyes out for goodness. Even the smallest bits matter. What a paradox; its goodness & beauty & connection that help fuel us to meet the difficult demands of being a human. And particularly as a trauma survivor, I am reminded that I, that each of us, get to participate in our own repair. What sacred work. 
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If it feels like a resource, I’ll leave you with this:
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May mercy and goodness ground you in your body, your relationships, and in your place. Made the co-regulating love of the God of the universe be in, above, and around you. May it lead you Home again + again.
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Thank you to @benrector for a fabulous concert. Grateful for my writing pal @ashlee_eiland & her amazing staff at Living Stones for being a wonderful & attentive audience today. Big love & gratitude to a husband (@bckolber) + kiddos who light up with joy alongside me, and thank you to @stewartdantec for sharing the fabulous James Baldwin quote.
Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving p Hand over heart // There’s no shame in surviving pain. Coming to honor the truth of our experience is not an indication of our weakness but a move toward deeper integration.🕯️
Sending love. #trysofter #fawn #beloved #stronglikewater #cptsd
Good morning 🌿 Take what you need.🙏 . Inhale: My Good morning 🌿 
Take what you need.🙏
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Inhale: My work is not to prove myself
Exhale: It’s to be myself 
#beloved #trysofter #compassionateattention #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed
For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻 #trysofter #lovenotest For you, if you need it. 🫶🏻
#trysofter #lovenotestomynervoussystem #stronglikewater #selfcompassion #takewhatyouneed
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