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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

November 17, 2015 ·

When You Want To Be Thankful {But You’re Not}

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It’s easy to guess November’s theme on social media. We tend to see it all around: expressions of gratitude. I see these posts and conversations and I love what folks are doing. I appreciate their intention.But the truth is, I meet loads of people who shame themselves over their inability to ...
Read More about When You Want To Be Thankful {But You’re Not}

November 10, 2015 ·

What to Do When Pinterest Says, “You’re Not Enough”

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I'm ecstatic to be contributing over at the Glorious Table today. My heart races quickly, and I feel the pit form in my stomach as my senses are bombarded with color and sparkle. The pressure to have a “Pinterest Perfect” holiday season is strong, and every store reminds me I need to do more, ...
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November 4, 2015 ·

His Goodness is Overwhelming {An #OutofSortsBook Post}

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Have you ever wondered if you’re the only one?The only one trying to find peace in the midst of questions that won’t quit?Or maybe, you’re the only one talking about the questions?Sarah Bessey’s book, “Out of Sorts: Making Peace with an Evolving Faith,” has been on my mind for a while now for ...
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October 27, 2015 ·

On New Hobbies {And Loving Sarah Bessey}

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Apparently, I have a new hobby.Nope, it’s not ribbon twirling.And unfortunately, it’s not underwater basket weaving.You guessed it, launch teams (Actually, you probably didn’t. Thanks for trying.)About a month ago, I had the pleasant surprise of finding out I made the launch team for Sarah Bessey’s ...
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October 19, 2015 ·

How to Find a Great Counselor {On Learning to Ask for Help}

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I met my dear friend Ashley, at a writer's conference this summer. She shared bits of her story with me and I realized the beauty of her heart and voice. I am honored to be guest posting over at her place, The Adoption Cafe.  Most of us, if we’re honest, don’t like asking for ...
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October 19, 2015 ·

When People Show Up, So Does Love

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I am so honored to be contributing over at The Glorious Table today. My knobby knees shook, and huge drops began to fall from the overcast February sky. We stood in the vacant street in front of the old house on Jerome Avenue, and my sister broke down the mechanics of the “crossover.”I wanted, ...
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Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Oliver), helps capture truth in a way psychology struggles to fully articulate. The reality of what it feels like to thaw the pain we hold can be difficult to put words to, but this from Mary has been so meaningful to me:
🌿
“We shake with joy,
we shake with grief.
What a time they have, these two
housed as they are in the same body.”
-Mary Oliver, We Shake With Joy
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Sending love.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #traumaresolution #cptsd
Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profoun Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profound gratitude for our love and the life, God helping us, we’ve created. Sometimes, against all odds. 
🌿
But here we are, still choosing each other; choosing us. The goodness of God in the land of the living.
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Thank you for all the ways you’ve helped me find home again, B. Happy anniversary, my love. @bckolber
#trysofter #stronglikewater
Not me geeking out because my words are on @insigh Not me geeking out because my words are on @insighttimer today (just kidding, I’m totally geeking out 🙃🥹)
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Fun fact, Insight Timer has been a huge resource in my personal work toward self-compassion and mindfulness, particularly practices with Sarah Blondin.
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Thanks @stephpoe1 & @hkoxhandler for making sure I didn’t miss it ✨🫶🏻✨
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And thanks @insighttimer for the shout out.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #insighttimer #cptsd #trauma
In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it co In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it cost you to know what you know.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹
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May your healing come.🌿
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#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #traumaresolution #cptsd
Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and I might add, that it’s not only in churches, but in non-profits, families, parachurch ministries, goverments, NGO’s, the publishing industry, and any systems where we don’t consciously and actively make it safe for survivors to speak up. 
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As Dr. Jennifer Freyd notes regarding institutional courage: “We must cherish the whistleblowers.” Indeed. 
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And to the survivors: I honor you. I’m sorry you’ve had to be so strong. ❤️‍🩹
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May you be surprised by the mystery of healing. 🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #healanyway #traumaresolution
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