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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

November 17, 2015 ·

When You Want To Be Thankful {But You’re Not}

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It’s easy to guess November’s theme on social media. We tend to see it all around: expressions of gratitude. I see these posts and conversations and I love what folks are doing. I appreciate their intention.But the truth is, I meet loads of people who shame themselves over their inability to ...
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November 10, 2015 ·

What to Do When Pinterest Says, “You’re Not Enough”

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I'm ecstatic to be contributing over at the Glorious Table today. My heart races quickly, and I feel the pit form in my stomach as my senses are bombarded with color and sparkle. The pressure to have a “Pinterest Perfect” holiday season is strong, and every store reminds me I need to do more, ...
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November 4, 2015 ·

His Goodness is Overwhelming {An #OutofSortsBook Post}

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Have you ever wondered if you’re the only one?The only one trying to find peace in the midst of questions that won’t quit?Or maybe, you’re the only one talking about the questions?Sarah Bessey’s book, “Out of Sorts: Making Peace with an Evolving Faith,” has been on my mind for a while now for ...
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October 27, 2015 ·

On New Hobbies {And Loving Sarah Bessey}

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Apparently, I have a new hobby.Nope, it’s not ribbon twirling.And unfortunately, it’s not underwater basket weaving.You guessed it, launch teams (Actually, you probably didn’t. Thanks for trying.)About a month ago, I had the pleasant surprise of finding out I made the launch team for Sarah Bessey’s ...
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October 19, 2015 ·

How to Find a Great Counselor {On Learning to Ask for Help}

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I met my dear friend Ashley, at a writer's conference this summer. She shared bits of her story with me and I realized the beauty of her heart and voice. I am honored to be guest posting over at her place, The Adoption Cafe.  Most of us, if we’re honest, don’t like asking for ...
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October 19, 2015 ·

When People Show Up, So Does Love

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I am so honored to be contributing over at The Glorious Table today. My knobby knees shook, and huge drops began to fall from the overcast February sky. We stood in the vacant street in front of the old house on Jerome Avenue, and my sister broke down the mechanics of the “crossover.”I wanted, ...
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These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨ #TakeWha These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨
#TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #cptsd #Beloved
Some of you may know from my writing and speaking Some of you may know from my writing and speaking that in addition to being a trauma therapist, I am a long-term survivor of Narcissistic abuse and Complex PTSD. Today, I felt moved to share this reflection from a few years ago that I’ve adapted a bit as I’ve continued in my own work (and I’ll be sharing more layers of my story & the complexity involved with it in my upcoming book.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️‍🔥)
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But for now: if this is part of your story too, I honor that in the same way the wounding is complicated, so, too, can the healing be. There is no shame there. The repair must match the rupture.❤️‍🩹 And yet, even if healing is complicated—you are so worthy of it. Sending love. #cptsd #narcissticabuse #trysofter #stronglikewater #grief
Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve learned to leave yourself to survive—the return can be terrifying and yet deeply satisfying all at the same time. May you experience repair in every way you need. 
// As always take what you need.
#Beloved #TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #fawning
Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been h Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been here. Sometimes my body & spirit tell me it’s time to take a longer break, and though I care deeply about this work—practicing what I preach matters to me even more. I’m not quite ready to enter back in more regularly, but until then, I thought I’d leave a few things I’ve been chewing on. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear. 🌿 (As always, take what you need)
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And may you, in the way and the pace you’re able—have access to the rest you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborASyourself #cptsd
Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶 Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶🏻#PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborasyourself
Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
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