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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

April 7, 2016 ·

The Value of the Right Hard Things

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With the recent men's and women's NCAA basketball tournament I've been chewing on the connection between sports and character. Athletes often live out in real time, concepts we're all struggling to work out in daily life. I'd love to hear about your experiences with sports and how they've shaped ...
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March 30, 2016 ·

The Sacredness of Tears

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I have long held that tears are sacred. They're not bad or shameful or weak. No, they are an expression of our emotion. Tears can be traced to almost any feeling, including fear, joy, shame, or relief— just to name a few.If you sat down with my husband he’d probably chuckle and tell you ...
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March 22, 2016 ·

A Hard Reset {On Learning How to Unplug}

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"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne LamottIn the last 33 years, I've gathered some important information about myself. I always prefer half and half in my coffee over non-fat milk. I’ve found I love to travel and write and ...
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March 10, 2016 ·

Settling for Safety: When Risk Is Worthwhile

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Settling for safety is my default.I'm not talking about healthy safety like boundaries or limits or even creating supportive relationships. No, this is a tendency to avoid trying new things or stepping out of a comfort zone because we may fail. This can translate to any part of life and it's ...
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February 17, 2016 ·

In the Meantime: Thoughts on Grieving Well

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I heard someone say once, "To be human is to grieve." I couldn't agree more. Our family has recently gone through a season of grief and it reminds me again why I love educating people about emotional health, trauma, and pain. This recent experience brought these thoughts to mind, and really, ...
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February 3, 2016 ·

In Defense of Self Care: What It Is and Why It Matters {Guest Post for The Glorious Table}

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I used to think self care was selfish.If I’m honest, it was because I was jealous. As a classic overly responsible, perfectionistic overachiever, the thing I most longed for was the ability to say no and find rest.And so, because I didn’t understand and couldn’t seem to manage my own self care, I ...
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Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Oliver), helps capture truth in a way psychology struggles to fully articulate. The reality of what it feels like to thaw the pain we hold can be difficult to put words to, but this from Mary has been so meaningful to me:
🌿
“We shake with joy,
we shake with grief.
What a time they have, these two
housed as they are in the same body.”
-Mary Oliver, We Shake With Joy
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Sending love.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #traumaresolution #cptsd
Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profoun Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profound gratitude for our love and the life, God helping us, we’ve created. Sometimes, against all odds. 
🌿
But here we are, still choosing each other; choosing us. The goodness of God in the land of the living.
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Thank you for all the ways you’ve helped me find home again, B. Happy anniversary, my love. @bckolber
#trysofter #stronglikewater
Not me geeking out because my words are on @insigh Not me geeking out because my words are on @insighttimer today (just kidding, I’m totally geeking out 🙃🥹)
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Fun fact, Insight Timer has been a huge resource in my personal work toward self-compassion and mindfulness, particularly practices with Sarah Blondin.
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Thanks @stephpoe1 & @hkoxhandler for making sure I didn’t miss it ✨🫶🏻✨
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And thanks @insighttimer for the shout out.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #insighttimer #cptsd #trauma
In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it co In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it cost you to know what you know.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹
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May your healing come.🌿
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#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #traumaresolution #cptsd
Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and I might add, that it’s not only in churches, but in non-profits, families, parachurch ministries, goverments, NGO’s, the publishing industry, and any systems where we don’t consciously and actively make it safe for survivors to speak up. 
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As Dr. Jennifer Freyd notes regarding institutional courage: “We must cherish the whistleblowers.” Indeed. 
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And to the survivors: I honor you. I’m sorry you’ve had to be so strong. ❤️‍🩹
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May you be surprised by the mystery of healing. 🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #healanyway #traumaresolution
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