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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

April 7, 2016 ·

The Value of the Right Hard Things

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With the recent men's and women's NCAA basketball tournament I've been chewing on the connection between sports and character. Athletes often live out in real time, concepts we're all struggling to work out in daily life. I'd love to hear about your experiences with sports and how they've shaped ...
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March 30, 2016 ·

The Sacredness of Tears

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I have long held that tears are sacred. They're not bad or shameful or weak. No, they are an expression of our emotion. Tears can be traced to almost any feeling, including fear, joy, shame, or relief— just to name a few.If you sat down with my husband he’d probably chuckle and tell you ...
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March 22, 2016 ·

A Hard Reset {On Learning How to Unplug}

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"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne LamottIn the last 33 years, I've gathered some important information about myself. I always prefer half and half in my coffee over non-fat milk. I’ve found I love to travel and write and ...
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March 10, 2016 ·

Settling for Safety: When Risk Is Worthwhile

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Settling for safety is my default.I'm not talking about healthy safety like boundaries or limits or even creating supportive relationships. No, this is a tendency to avoid trying new things or stepping out of a comfort zone because we may fail. This can translate to any part of life and it's ...
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February 17, 2016 ·

In the Meantime: Thoughts on Grieving Well

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I heard someone say once, "To be human is to grieve." I couldn't agree more. Our family has recently gone through a season of grief and it reminds me again why I love educating people about emotional health, trauma, and pain. This recent experience brought these thoughts to mind, and really, ...
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February 3, 2016 ·

In Defense of Self Care: What It Is and Why It Matters {Guest Post for The Glorious Table}

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I used to think self care was selfish.If I’m honest, it was because I was jealous. As a classic overly responsible, perfectionistic overachiever, the thing I most longed for was the ability to say no and find rest.And so, because I didn’t understand and couldn’t seem to manage my own self care, I ...
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These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨ #TakeWha These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨
#TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #cptsd #Beloved
Some of you may know from my writing and speaking Some of you may know from my writing and speaking that in addition to being a trauma therapist, I am a long-term survivor of Narcissistic abuse and Complex PTSD. Today, I felt moved to share this reflection from a few years ago that I’ve adapted a bit as I’ve continued in my own work (and I’ll be sharing more layers of my story & the complexity involved with it in my upcoming book.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️‍🔥)
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But for now: if this is part of your story too, I honor that in the same way the wounding is complicated, so, too, can the healing be. There is no shame there. The repair must match the rupture.❤️‍🩹 And yet, even if healing is complicated—you are so worthy of it. Sending love. #cptsd #narcissticabuse #trysofter #stronglikewater #grief
Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve learned to leave yourself to survive—the return can be terrifying and yet deeply satisfying all at the same time. May you experience repair in every way you need. 
// As always take what you need.
#Beloved #TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #fawning
Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been h Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been here. Sometimes my body & spirit tell me it’s time to take a longer break, and though I care deeply about this work—practicing what I preach matters to me even more. I’m not quite ready to enter back in more regularly, but until then, I thought I’d leave a few things I’ve been chewing on. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear. 🌿 (As always, take what you need)
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And may you, in the way and the pace you’re able—have access to the rest you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborASyourself #cptsd
Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶 Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶🏻#PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborasyourself
Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
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