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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

April 7, 2016 ·

The Value of the Right Hard Things

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With the recent men's and women's NCAA basketball tournament I've been chewing on the connection between sports and character. Athletes often live out in real time, concepts we're all struggling to work out in daily life. I'd love to hear about your experiences with sports and how they've shaped ...
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March 30, 2016 ·

The Sacredness of Tears

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I have long held that tears are sacred. They're not bad or shameful or weak. No, they are an expression of our emotion. Tears can be traced to almost any feeling, including fear, joy, shame, or relief— just to name a few.If you sat down with my husband he’d probably chuckle and tell you ...
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March 22, 2016 ·

A Hard Reset {On Learning How to Unplug}

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"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne LamottIn the last 33 years, I've gathered some important information about myself. I always prefer half and half in my coffee over non-fat milk. I’ve found I love to travel and write and ...
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March 10, 2016 ·

Settling for Safety: When Risk Is Worthwhile

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Settling for safety is my default.I'm not talking about healthy safety like boundaries or limits or even creating supportive relationships. No, this is a tendency to avoid trying new things or stepping out of a comfort zone because we may fail. This can translate to any part of life and it's ...
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February 17, 2016 ·

In the Meantime: Thoughts on Grieving Well

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I heard someone say once, "To be human is to grieve." I couldn't agree more. Our family has recently gone through a season of grief and it reminds me again why I love educating people about emotional health, trauma, and pain. This recent experience brought these thoughts to mind, and really, ...
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February 3, 2016 ·

In Defense of Self Care: What It Is and Why It Matters {Guest Post for The Glorious Table}

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I used to think self care was selfish.If I’m honest, it was because I was jealous. As a classic overly responsible, perfectionistic overachiever, the thing I most longed for was the ability to say no and find rest.And so, because I didn’t understand and couldn’t seem to manage my own self care, I ...
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It’s really hard to experience God as safe when yo It’s really hard to experience God as safe when you’re taught theology that defends abusers and abandons the abused.
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May there be a repair for every untruth that has facilitated your harm.
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May your healing come. 🙏
(As always take what you need). #StayWithYourself 
#TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #religioustrauma survivor-centered trauma-informed
Being able to name our experience is so helpful & Being able to name our experience is so helpful & important, but with the fawn response—it can start to feel suffocating to know about what we’re experiencing and feel like we can’t change it. 
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And yet, we can learn to work “with” our fawn response; living from our Center instead of survival. #staywithyourself #trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd
If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what y If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what you need to stay with yourself.🕯️#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #LoveyourneighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
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Fawn, fawn response, cPTSD, healing, nervous system, religious trauma, attachment trauma, alignment, faith and mental health
A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat o A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat on the release of his newest offering, “Who You’re Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age.” This is a phenomenally timely book, written by someone who works to embody what he writes. I was honored to endorse it. Here’s what I said:
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“In the midst of our unmoored, image obsessed culture, Dr. Chuck DeGroat offers us the grounding wisdom we so often forget: God is with us as we become ourselves. With kindness and deft insight, DeGroat leads us through the practical, courageous, and often slow work required to cultivate maturity and true character. In so doing, Who You’re Becoming serves as a powerful and needed guide for anyone wanting to go beyond a try-hard faith or mere surface level change—so they can deepen into their truest, beloved selves.”
Aundi Kolber MA, LPC
Therapist & Author of Try Softer and Strong like Water
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Congrats, Chuck! You can find “Who You’re Becoming” wherever books are sold (link in stories or check out an excerpt on my substack today—also in stories 🎉)
#WhoYoureBecoming
There can be so much valid grief that comes from l There can be so much valid grief that comes from losing relationships while you heal.*
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But if you have to choose between keeping a relationship & keeping you—l hope you choose you.
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God does not abandon you, & you don’t have to abandon yourself either. Selah. 
(As always, take what you need 🕯️)
#StayWithYourself #Fawning #TrySofter #Cptsd #narcissticabuse 
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Need more resources & insight? You can pre-order my newest offering, “Stay With Yourself,” that addresses exactly these issues (link in profile).
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*For example, from setting healthy boundaries, advocating for yourself, or being unwilling to participate in toxic dynamics.
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 Boundaries | embodied boundaries | interpersonal trauma | relationships | self compassion | integrating faith and mental health
Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emo Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emotions around injustice or harm一but rather so we can access the clarity to live in alignment even amidst intensity.
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And so may you find Ground that holds you steady.
#StayWithYourself #StronglikeWater #TrySofter #regulation #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨ #StayWithYourself #Try May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #HealAnyway #TakeWhatYouNee
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Fawn | trauma | trauma resolution | cPTSD | religious trauma | nervous system | attachment trauma | complex trauma | grief | faith and mental health | self compassion | compassionate attention
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