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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

July 6, 2016 ·

5 Ways to be Kind to Yourself When You’re in the Middle of the Storm

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I find my natural tendency when I’m going through intense seasons or events is to push harder. Some part of me has been programed to believe the only way through difficult times is to ‘buck up.’ Ironically, this type of thinking has often led me to soul sucking, dreary places—so much for being ...
Read More about 5 Ways to be Kind to Yourself When You’re in the Middle of the Storm

June 21, 2016 ·

When Saying Goodbye is a Gift

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Recently, while visiting my hometown, I became like the people in movies and books who go back to the place they’re raised. I felt silly as we drove by my old house and my husband insisted we at least say hello to the newest owners working in the yard. I felt the familiar anxiety creep into my ...
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May 24, 2016 ·

How Learning to Be Still is Countercultural

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I find waiting and softness and quiet countercultural. We live in a system of hurry, hard, and loud. So very loud. Always there are things calling our names; the music, noise, videos and texts asking for our attention. But I find when we are with the noise too much, we also become noisy. ...
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May 10, 2016 ·

In Which Your Everyday {Messy} Life is Beautiful

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Recently, we heard some tragic news about another family. The kind of earth shattering news that makes you stop and look your loved ones in the eye and tell them you’re glad they’re here. And when you feel just a smidgen of their grief, your breath quickens a little and you realize the weight of ...
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May 5, 2016 ·

How a Song Reminds Us to be Grateful

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I’m a sucker for a good song. My sensitive, deep feeling self always takes note when I hear something particularly poignant.Recently a music video by Nichole Nordeman has been making the rounds on Facebook and social media. One of the verses goes like this:“Slow downWon’t you stay here a minute ...
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April 21, 2016 ·

Rest Easy {You’re Loved No Matter What}

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Have you experienced a person who is completely confident but also paradoxically humble? As though someone freed them up from the chains of insecurity and self-doubt? And as you sit there scratching your head, you may also wonder why they don’t have anything to prove.Here’s what I think happened, at ...
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It’s really hard to experience God as safe when yo It’s really hard to experience God as safe when you’re taught theology that defends abusers and abandons the abused.
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May there be a repair for every untruth that has facilitated your harm.
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May your healing come. 🙏
(As always take what you need). #StayWithYourself 
#TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #religioustrauma survivor-centered trauma-informed
Being able to name our experience is so helpful & Being able to name our experience is so helpful & important, but with the fawn response—it can start to feel suffocating to know about what we’re experiencing and feel like we can’t change it. 
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And yet, we can learn to work “with” our fawn response; living from our Center instead of survival. #staywithyourself #trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd
If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what y If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what you need to stay with yourself.🕯️#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #LoveyourneighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
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Fawn, fawn response, cPTSD, healing, nervous system, religious trauma, attachment trauma, alignment, faith and mental health
A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat o A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat on the release of his newest offering, “Who You’re Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age.” This is a phenomenally timely book, written by someone who works to embody what he writes. I was honored to endorse it. Here’s what I said:
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“In the midst of our unmoored, image obsessed culture, Dr. Chuck DeGroat offers us the grounding wisdom we so often forget: God is with us as we become ourselves. With kindness and deft insight, DeGroat leads us through the practical, courageous, and often slow work required to cultivate maturity and true character. In so doing, Who You’re Becoming serves as a powerful and needed guide for anyone wanting to go beyond a try-hard faith or mere surface level change—so they can deepen into their truest, beloved selves.”
Aundi Kolber MA, LPC
Therapist & Author of Try Softer and Strong like Water
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Congrats, Chuck! You can find “Who You’re Becoming” wherever books are sold (link in stories or check out an excerpt on my substack today—also in stories 🎉)
#WhoYoureBecoming
There can be so much valid grief that comes from l There can be so much valid grief that comes from losing relationships while you heal.*
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But if you have to choose between keeping a relationship & keeping you—l hope you choose you.
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God does not abandon you, & you don’t have to abandon yourself either. Selah. 
(As always, take what you need 🕯️)
#StayWithYourself #Fawning #TrySofter #Cptsd #narcissticabuse 
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Need more resources & insight? You can pre-order my newest offering, “Stay With Yourself,” that addresses exactly these issues (link in profile).
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*For example, from setting healthy boundaries, advocating for yourself, or being unwilling to participate in toxic dynamics.
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 Boundaries | embodied boundaries | interpersonal trauma | relationships | self compassion | integrating faith and mental health
Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emo Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emotions around injustice or harm一but rather so we can access the clarity to live in alignment even amidst intensity.
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And so may you find Ground that holds you steady.
#StayWithYourself #StronglikeWater #TrySofter #regulation #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨ #StayWithYourself #Try May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #HealAnyway #TakeWhatYouNee
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Fawn | trauma | trauma resolution | cPTSD | religious trauma | nervous system | attachment trauma | complex trauma | grief | faith and mental health | self compassion | compassionate attention
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