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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

July 6, 2016 ·

5 Ways to be Kind to Yourself When You’re in the Middle of the Storm

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I find my natural tendency when I’m going through intense seasons or events is to push harder. Some part of me has been programed to believe the only way through difficult times is to ‘buck up.’ Ironically, this type of thinking has often led me to soul sucking, dreary places—so much for being ...
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June 21, 2016 ·

When Saying Goodbye is a Gift

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Recently, while visiting my hometown, I became like the people in movies and books who go back to the place they’re raised. I felt silly as we drove by my old house and my husband insisted we at least say hello to the newest owners working in the yard. I felt the familiar anxiety creep into my ...
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May 24, 2016 ·

How Learning to Be Still is Countercultural

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I find waiting and softness and quiet countercultural. We live in a system of hurry, hard, and loud. So very loud. Always there are things calling our names; the music, noise, videos and texts asking for our attention. But I find when we are with the noise too much, we also become noisy. ...
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May 10, 2016 ·

In Which Your Everyday {Messy} Life is Beautiful

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Recently, we heard some tragic news about another family. The kind of earth shattering news that makes you stop and look your loved ones in the eye and tell them you’re glad they’re here. And when you feel just a smidgen of their grief, your breath quickens a little and you realize the weight of ...
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May 5, 2016 ·

How a Song Reminds Us to be Grateful

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I’m a sucker for a good song. My sensitive, deep feeling self always takes note when I hear something particularly poignant.Recently a music video by Nichole Nordeman has been making the rounds on Facebook and social media. One of the verses goes like this:“Slow downWon’t you stay here a minute ...
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April 21, 2016 ·

Rest Easy {You’re Loved No Matter What}

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Have you experienced a person who is completely confident but also paradoxically humble? As though someone freed them up from the chains of insecurity and self-doubt? And as you sit there scratching your head, you may also wonder why they don’t have anything to prove.Here’s what I think happened, at ...
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Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Oliver), helps capture truth in a way psychology struggles to fully articulate. The reality of what it feels like to thaw the pain we hold can be difficult to put words to, but this from Mary has been so meaningful to me:
🌿
“We shake with joy,
we shake with grief.
What a time they have, these two
housed as they are in the same body.”
-Mary Oliver, We Shake With Joy
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Sending love.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #traumaresolution #cptsd
Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profoun Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profound gratitude for our love and the life, God helping us, we’ve created. Sometimes, against all odds. 
🌿
But here we are, still choosing each other; choosing us. The goodness of God in the land of the living.
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Thank you for all the ways you’ve helped me find home again, B. Happy anniversary, my love. @bckolber
#trysofter #stronglikewater
Not me geeking out because my words are on @insigh Not me geeking out because my words are on @insighttimer today (just kidding, I’m totally geeking out 🙃🥹)
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Fun fact, Insight Timer has been a huge resource in my personal work toward self-compassion and mindfulness, particularly practices with Sarah Blondin.
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Thanks @stephpoe1 & @hkoxhandler for making sure I didn’t miss it ✨🫶🏻✨
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And thanks @insighttimer for the shout out.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #insighttimer #cptsd #trauma
In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it co In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it cost you to know what you know.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹
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May your healing come.🌿
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#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #traumaresolution #cptsd
Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and I might add, that it’s not only in churches, but in non-profits, families, parachurch ministries, goverments, NGO’s, the publishing industry, and any systems where we don’t consciously and actively make it safe for survivors to speak up. 
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As Dr. Jennifer Freyd notes regarding institutional courage: “We must cherish the whistleblowers.” Indeed. 
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And to the survivors: I honor you. I’m sorry you’ve had to be so strong. ❤️‍🩹
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May you be surprised by the mystery of healing. 🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #healanyway #traumaresolution
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