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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

July 6, 2016 ·

5 Ways to be Kind to Yourself When You’re in the Middle of the Storm

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I find my natural tendency when I’m going through intense seasons or events is to push harder. Some part of me has been programed to believe the only way through difficult times is to ‘buck up.’ Ironically, this type of thinking has often led me to soul sucking, dreary places—so much for being ...
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June 21, 2016 ·

When Saying Goodbye is a Gift

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Recently, while visiting my hometown, I became like the people in movies and books who go back to the place they’re raised. I felt silly as we drove by my old house and my husband insisted we at least say hello to the newest owners working in the yard. I felt the familiar anxiety creep into my ...
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May 24, 2016 ·

How Learning to Be Still is Countercultural

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I find waiting and softness and quiet countercultural. We live in a system of hurry, hard, and loud. So very loud. Always there are things calling our names; the music, noise, videos and texts asking for our attention. But I find when we are with the noise too much, we also become noisy. ...
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May 10, 2016 ·

In Which Your Everyday {Messy} Life is Beautiful

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Recently, we heard some tragic news about another family. The kind of earth shattering news that makes you stop and look your loved ones in the eye and tell them you’re glad they’re here. And when you feel just a smidgen of their grief, your breath quickens a little and you realize the weight of ...
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May 5, 2016 ·

How a Song Reminds Us to be Grateful

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I’m a sucker for a good song. My sensitive, deep feeling self always takes note when I hear something particularly poignant.Recently a music video by Nichole Nordeman has been making the rounds on Facebook and social media. One of the verses goes like this:“Slow downWon’t you stay here a minute ...
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April 21, 2016 ·

Rest Easy {You’re Loved No Matter What}

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Have you experienced a person who is completely confident but also paradoxically humble? As though someone freed them up from the chains of insecurity and self-doubt? And as you sit there scratching your head, you may also wonder why they don’t have anything to prove.Here’s what I think happened, at ...
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These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨ #TakeWha These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨
#TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #cptsd #Beloved
Some of you may know from my writing and speaking Some of you may know from my writing and speaking that in addition to being a trauma therapist, I am a long-term survivor of Narcissistic abuse and Complex PTSD. Today, I felt moved to share this reflection from a few years ago that I’ve adapted a bit as I’ve continued in my own work (and I’ll be sharing more layers of my story & the complexity involved with it in my upcoming book.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️‍🔥)
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But for now: if this is part of your story too, I honor that in the same way the wounding is complicated, so, too, can the healing be. There is no shame there. The repair must match the rupture.❤️‍🩹 And yet, even if healing is complicated—you are so worthy of it. Sending love. #cptsd #narcissticabuse #trysofter #stronglikewater #grief
Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve learned to leave yourself to survive—the return can be terrifying and yet deeply satisfying all at the same time. May you experience repair in every way you need. 
// As always take what you need.
#Beloved #TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #fawning
Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been h Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been here. Sometimes my body & spirit tell me it’s time to take a longer break, and though I care deeply about this work—practicing what I preach matters to me even more. I’m not quite ready to enter back in more regularly, but until then, I thought I’d leave a few things I’ve been chewing on. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear. 🌿 (As always, take what you need)
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And may you, in the way and the pace you’re able—have access to the rest you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborASyourself #cptsd
Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶 Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶🏻#PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborasyourself
Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
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