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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

January 26, 2016 ·

A Letter to Those Who Wait {Guest Post for the Glorious Table}

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“From the end of the earth I will cry to you, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” (Ps. 61:2 NKJV)I see you there, waiting, with expectation and a touch of dread. I see every time you’ve hoped, and every time that hope has been dashed. I’ve ...
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January 5, 2016 ·

My Life Giving Word of the Year

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Last January, for the first time ever, I chose a word as a theme. The word was notice.Sort of a simple one, it seems. But for me, it was unbelievably refreshing. (You can read more about it here.) I've been grateful for this #OneWord prompt because it was a constant reminder. Instead of my instinct, ...
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December 31, 2015 ·

The Standouts: My Top 5 Posts of 2015

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What a pleasure it's been to cultivate this space in 2015. I am so grateful to my readers who have shared their time, hearts, and energy to give me feedback and encouragement. Without further ado, here are my most read, shared, and liked post of 2015. Give them a read. Happy New Year, ...
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December 15, 2015 ·

Take the Dare {You’re Already So Loved}

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The weight of expectations can be a joy killer. Do you know this story? I know it well. We hope and we plan and we control and create a situation to be just so-- and then it isn’t. It may not even be close.It's fabulous to have goals. It's a completely other thing to be rigidly stuck to ...
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December 3, 2015 ·

An Advent Lament

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Today, I had planned on another topic for this post. But as our nation grieves so much pain and loss, I choose to use my voice to create space to process. Our culture doesn't always grieve well, we aren't ever really taught how. But the Bible is so full of examples of authentic lamentations; I ...
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November 23, 2015 ·

An Open Letter to Weary Internet Souls

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Dear tired heart,I see how you advocate and sound off for your cause. I see the way you stand for orphans, mental health, refugees, racism, veterans, safety, and hope (although, possibly at different times and in a different order).Thank you for using your voice. Thank your for sharing your ...
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It’s really hard to experience God as safe when yo It’s really hard to experience God as safe when you’re taught theology that defends abusers and abandons the abused.
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May there be a repair for every untruth that has facilitated your harm.
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May your healing come. 🙏
(As always take what you need). #StayWithYourself 
#TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #religioustrauma survivor-centered trauma-informed
Being able to name our experience is so helpful & Being able to name our experience is so helpful & important, but with the fawn response—it can start to feel suffocating to know about what we’re experiencing and feel like we can’t change it. 
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And yet, we can learn to work “with” our fawn response; living from our Center instead of survival. #staywithyourself #trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd
If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what y If it resonates, it’s for you. May you have what you need to stay with yourself.🕯️#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #LoveyourneighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #TakeWhatYouNeed
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Fawn, fawn response, cPTSD, healing, nervous system, religious trauma, attachment trauma, alignment, faith and mental health
A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat o A huge congrats to my dear friend, @chuckdegroat on the release of his newest offering, “Who You’re Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age.” This is a phenomenally timely book, written by someone who works to embody what he writes. I was honored to endorse it. Here’s what I said:
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“In the midst of our unmoored, image obsessed culture, Dr. Chuck DeGroat offers us the grounding wisdom we so often forget: God is with us as we become ourselves. With kindness and deft insight, DeGroat leads us through the practical, courageous, and often slow work required to cultivate maturity and true character. In so doing, Who You’re Becoming serves as a powerful and needed guide for anyone wanting to go beyond a try-hard faith or mere surface level change—so they can deepen into their truest, beloved selves.”
Aundi Kolber MA, LPC
Therapist & Author of Try Softer and Strong like Water
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Congrats, Chuck! You can find “Who You’re Becoming” wherever books are sold (link in stories or check out an excerpt on my substack today—also in stories 🎉)
#WhoYoureBecoming
There can be so much valid grief that comes from l There can be so much valid grief that comes from losing relationships while you heal.*
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But if you have to choose between keeping a relationship & keeping you—l hope you choose you.
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God does not abandon you, & you don’t have to abandon yourself either. Selah. 
(As always, take what you need 🕯️)
#StayWithYourself #Fawning #TrySofter #Cptsd #narcissticabuse 
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Need more resources & insight? You can pre-order my newest offering, “Stay With Yourself,” that addresses exactly these issues (link in profile).
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*For example, from setting healthy boundaries, advocating for yourself, or being unwilling to participate in toxic dynamics.
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 Boundaries | embodied boundaries | interpersonal trauma | relationships | self compassion | integrating faith and mental health
Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emo Importantly, we don’t regulate to bypass valid emotions around injustice or harm一but rather so we can access the clarity to live in alignment even amidst intensity.
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And so may you find Ground that holds you steady.
#StayWithYourself #StronglikeWater #TrySofter #regulation #LoveYourNeighborASYourself
May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨ #StayWithYourself #Try May your healing come. 🪴🫶🏻✨
#StayWithYourself #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #HealAnyway #TakeWhatYouNee
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Fawn | trauma | trauma resolution | cPTSD | religious trauma | nervous system | attachment trauma | complex trauma | grief | faith and mental health | self compassion | compassionate attention
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