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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

January 26, 2016 ·

A Letter to Those Who Wait {Guest Post for the Glorious Table}

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“From the end of the earth I will cry to you, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” (Ps. 61:2 NKJV)I see you there, waiting, with expectation and a touch of dread. I see every time you’ve hoped, and every time that hope has been dashed. I’ve ...
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January 5, 2016 ·

My Life Giving Word of the Year

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Last January, for the first time ever, I chose a word as a theme. The word was notice.Sort of a simple one, it seems. But for me, it was unbelievably refreshing. (You can read more about it here.) I've been grateful for this #OneWord prompt because it was a constant reminder. Instead of my instinct, ...
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December 31, 2015 ·

The Standouts: My Top 5 Posts of 2015

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What a pleasure it's been to cultivate this space in 2015. I am so grateful to my readers who have shared their time, hearts, and energy to give me feedback and encouragement. Without further ado, here are my most read, shared, and liked post of 2015. Give them a read. Happy New Year, ...
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December 15, 2015 ·

Take the Dare {You’re Already So Loved}

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The weight of expectations can be a joy killer. Do you know this story? I know it well. We hope and we plan and we control and create a situation to be just so-- and then it isn’t. It may not even be close.It's fabulous to have goals. It's a completely other thing to be rigidly stuck to ...
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December 3, 2015 ·

An Advent Lament

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Today, I had planned on another topic for this post. But as our nation grieves so much pain and loss, I choose to use my voice to create space to process. Our culture doesn't always grieve well, we aren't ever really taught how. But the Bible is so full of examples of authentic lamentations; I ...
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November 23, 2015 ·

An Open Letter to Weary Internet Souls

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Dear tired heart,I see how you advocate and sound off for your cause. I see the way you stand for orphans, mental health, refugees, racism, veterans, safety, and hope (although, possibly at different times and in a different order).Thank you for using your voice. Thank your for sharing your ...
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These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨ #TakeWha These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨
#TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #cptsd #Beloved
Some of you may know from my writing and speaking Some of you may know from my writing and speaking that in addition to being a trauma therapist, I am a long-term survivor of Narcissistic abuse and Complex PTSD. Today, I felt moved to share this reflection from a few years ago that I’ve adapted a bit as I’ve continued in my own work (and I’ll be sharing more layers of my story & the complexity involved with it in my upcoming book.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️‍🔥)
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But for now: if this is part of your story too, I honor that in the same way the wounding is complicated, so, too, can the healing be. There is no shame there. The repair must match the rupture.❤️‍🩹 And yet, even if healing is complicated—you are so worthy of it. Sending love. #cptsd #narcissticabuse #trysofter #stronglikewater #grief
Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve learned to leave yourself to survive—the return can be terrifying and yet deeply satisfying all at the same time. May you experience repair in every way you need. 
// As always take what you need.
#Beloved #TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #fawning
Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been h Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been here. Sometimes my body & spirit tell me it’s time to take a longer break, and though I care deeply about this work—practicing what I preach matters to me even more. I’m not quite ready to enter back in more regularly, but until then, I thought I’d leave a few things I’ve been chewing on. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear. 🌿 (As always, take what you need)
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And may you, in the way and the pace you’re able—have access to the rest you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborASyourself #cptsd
Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶 Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶🏻#PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborasyourself
Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
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