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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

July 26, 2018 ·

3 Ways to Grow Spiritually We Don’t Hear Enough About {Guest Post for Relevant}

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Several years ago, I started to feel stuck as a therapist. I found many clients desired change, but instead, continually cycled through self-sabotaging behaviors or felt suffocated by shame.“What is it?” They wondered to me aloud.Don’t I want it enough? Am I not praying enough? Not enough faith?I ...
Read More about 3 Ways to Grow Spiritually We Don’t Hear Enough About {Guest Post for Relevant}

July 10, 2018 ·

Interview: EMDR {On the Weary Christian}

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I'm privileged to have been interviewed recently by Christian Heinze over at The Weary Christian: If you haven’t heard of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) you soon will, and if you have, you might have tried it, and if you’ve tried it, it could have helped change your ...
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June 15, 2018 ·

When the Wound is Healing {Father’s Day Re-Visited}

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Three years ago I wrote one of the most difficult posts of my life. In it, I describe why Father’s Day is deeply painful for me. Mostly, because my own dad isn’t, can't be, in my life. While this continues to be the healthiest choice for me, it is still tinged with grief.  You see, ...
Read More about When the Wound is Healing {Father’s Day Re-Visited}

December 19, 2017 ·

3 Ways to Support Someone Recovering From Trauma {Guest Post for Relevant Magazine}

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In my days as a novice therapist, I was terrified to work with trauma survivors. I had been given tools and plenty of support from supervisors, sure. But as a trauma survivor myself, I worried I wouldn’t support them adequately. My greatest fear was to re-traumatize people. Graciously, in the ...
Read More about 3 Ways to Support Someone Recovering From Trauma {Guest Post for Relevant Magazine}

December 6, 2017 ·

Waiting for a Miracle {Guest Post for The Redbud Post}

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Happy Advent, dear readers!If you've been following along with me for awhile, you'll recognize this piece from last year, written prior to the birth of our new son. However, I had a chance to contribute to the newest addition of The Redbud Post which features experiencing Advent: The Sacred Amidst ...
Read More about Waiting for a Miracle {Guest Post for The Redbud Post}

October 2, 2017 ·

The Spiritual Act of Honoring Pain

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"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten we belong to each other." -Mother TheresaI awoke this morning and the air felt heavy, maybe because sometimes grief can be sensed before it is spoken. I looked at my phone and saw an alert telling me the deadliest shooting in modern history ...
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Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Sometimes poetry (such as from the legendary Mary Oliver), helps capture truth in a way psychology struggles to fully articulate. The reality of what it feels like to thaw the pain we hold can be difficult to put words to, but this from Mary has been so meaningful to me:
🌿
“We shake with joy,
we shake with grief.
What a time they have, these two
housed as they are in the same body.”
-Mary Oliver, We Shake With Joy
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Sending love.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #takewhatyouneed #traumaresolution #cptsd
Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profoun Me. Him. 19 years of marriage. I have such profound gratitude for our love and the life, God helping us, we’ve created. Sometimes, against all odds. 
🌿
But here we are, still choosing each other; choosing us. The goodness of God in the land of the living.
🌿
Thank you for all the ways you’ve helped me find home again, B. Happy anniversary, my love. @bckolber
#trysofter #stronglikewater
Not me geeking out because my words are on @insigh Not me geeking out because my words are on @insighttimer today (just kidding, I’m totally geeking out 🙃🥹)
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Fun fact, Insight Timer has been a huge resource in my personal work toward self-compassion and mindfulness, particularly practices with Sarah Blondin.
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Thanks @stephpoe1 & @hkoxhandler for making sure I didn’t miss it ✨🫶🏻✨
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And thanks @insighttimer for the shout out.🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #insighttimer #cptsd #trauma
In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it co In case no one’s ever told you: I honor what it cost you to know what you know.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹
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May your healing come.🌿
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#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #traumaresolution #cptsd
Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and Such an important quote from @diane.langberg — and I might add, that it’s not only in churches, but in non-profits, families, parachurch ministries, goverments, NGO’s, the publishing industry, and any systems where we don’t consciously and actively make it safe for survivors to speak up. 
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As Dr. Jennifer Freyd notes regarding institutional courage: “We must cherish the whistleblowers.” Indeed. 
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And to the survivors: I honor you. I’m sorry you’ve had to be so strong. ❤️‍🩹
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May you be surprised by the mystery of healing. 🌿
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #healanyway #traumaresolution
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