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Aundi Kolber

Aundi Kolber

Latest from the Blog

December 1, 2016 ·

Waiting for a Miracle {on Finding Advent Hope}

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Growing up in the Catholic tradition, I learned advent was rich with meaning and longing. I remember how the time between the initial advent mass and Christmas Eve felt like a sacred eternity. One year, I decided I would stick it out and make it to midnight mass with my dad. When the hour finally ...
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November 21, 2016 ·

On Chai Tea and Holy {When Ordinary is Sacred}

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Today I write with a cup of chai tea and the first snow of the season falling. Next to me, a small candle is holding vigil. I went for a walk this morning and it felt holy—sacred even. The air pricked at my nose and I felt a stillness I hadn’t felt for some time. It felt like the moment after a ...
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November 10, 2016 ·

A Post Election Prayer for Weary Hearts

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God of the broken, physician to the sick, redeemer of the destitute:Give us courage to show up to our right now life.  Would you calm the vitriol and fear and pride which so easily draws us in, and give us wisdom to care for our soul?Lord, would you help us to remember to love our neighbors ...
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November 9, 2016 ·

Finding Gratitude in the Trenches of Mama-hood {Guest Post for {In}Courage}

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Motherhood was a difficult transition for me. As a recovering perfectionist, it seems part of me thought it would come more naturally—that somehow I would just be good at it.Instead, I found myself struggling—hard. I found I did terribly with little sleep. I was frequently overwhelmed and stressed. ...
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October 26, 2016 ·

Kindness in the Muck {On Living as the Beloved}

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"It takes years as a woman to unlearn what you have been taught to be sorry for."- Amy Poehler Every woman has a journey to love and accept her body. This is my observation anyhow. Some of us have faced difficult battles and have intensely painful stories as we learn to love ourselves well. A ...
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October 21, 2016 ·

When You Finally Get What You Want {But You’re Still You}

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Sometimes we finally get what we want. Maybe it’s the guy or the job, even the shoes. In my last year, it was finally getting pregnant after what felt like a long season of waiting and loss. I find something seductive occurs in our brain when we consider attaining the thing we long for. As though it ...
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These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨ #TakeWha These are for you, if they resonate✨❤️‍🩹✨
#TakeWhatYouNeed #TrySofter #StronglikeWater #cptsd #Beloved
Some of you may know from my writing and speaking Some of you may know from my writing and speaking that in addition to being a trauma therapist, I am a long-term survivor of Narcissistic abuse and Complex PTSD. Today, I felt moved to share this reflection from a few years ago that I’ve adapted a bit as I’ve continued in my own work (and I’ll be sharing more layers of my story & the complexity involved with it in my upcoming book.❤️‍🩹❤️❤️‍🔥)
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But for now: if this is part of your story too, I honor that in the same way the wounding is complicated, so, too, can the healing be. There is no shame there. The repair must match the rupture.❤️‍🩹 And yet, even if healing is complicated—you are so worthy of it. Sending love. #cptsd #narcissticabuse #trysofter #stronglikewater #grief
Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve Healing is such wildly brave work. And when you’ve learned to leave yourself to survive—the return can be terrifying and yet deeply satisfying all at the same time. May you experience repair in every way you need. 
// As always take what you need.
#Beloved #TrySofter #LoveYourNeighborASYourself #StronglikeWater #fawning
Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been h Oh, hi, hello—it’s been a minute since I’ve been here. Sometimes my body & spirit tell me it’s time to take a longer break, and though I care deeply about this work—practicing what I preach matters to me even more. I’m not quite ready to enter back in more regularly, but until then, I thought I’d leave a few things I’ve been chewing on. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear. 🌿 (As always, take what you need)
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And may you, in the way and the pace you’re able—have access to the rest you need.🫶🏻
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborASyourself #cptsd
Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶 Leaving this blessing here // take what you need.🫶🏻#PrayersOfATraumaSurvivor 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #loveyourneighborasyourself
Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we Relational trauma & abuse often teaches us that we can either choose authenticity or belonging—but not both. In these dynamics, folks often learn they must hyperattune, overaccomodate, overfunction and/or walk on eggshells to remain in relationships. We do this to stay connected to harmful caregivers, primary relationships and/or to exist in systems we depend on for survival; and this makes sense. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to survive. 
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As Dr. Gabor Mate writes, “People have two needs: Attachment and authenticity. And when authenticity threatens attachment; attachment trumps authenticity.”
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The consequence of having to disown and leave ourselves are profound—and yet, we can learn to find the way home to our God-given, resilient, fragile and Beloved selves. May it be so. #trysofter #stronglikewater #beloved #fawning #cptsd
A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take A blessing of sorts for you today. As always, take what you need. 
#trysofter #stronglikewater #cptsd #selfcompassion #healanyway
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An ongoing shout out to Dr. Kristin Neff for her work around self-compassion. 🫶🏻
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IC: hand over heart // May you interrupt shame with self-compassion
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